Energy for this 24 Hours

[caressa]

I have all the time in the world to do God's Will for me today.

I trust that my Higher Power is filling me with all the energy that I need for this 24 hours.

Time For Joy


My God provides what I need to do what I need each day. I talked to my sponsor today, and discussed how I have been fighting staying awake when I felt tired because I was afraid it would mess up my 'night' sleep.

Time is time, why am I fighting it. Each day is a gift. Why not listen to my body. Why deny my health and happiness by doing things that harm it and me.

Not sure where I am even going with this, except that I realized that I was back making 'my day' into what I thought it should be, rather than just being and letting life happen.

I have fibromyalgia and I think I had lost acceptance of the symptoms of the disease. I would say I had it but didn't act like I did and tried to rough shod over the disease, the same way I did over my alcoholism. I kept trying to justy and rationalize why I did things and why I thought it was right. I just didn't fit into God's plan, which in turn, happened to be my plan.

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Fibromyalgia

Today I fought going to sleep for an hour before I called my sponsor. I laid down about 6 and woke up at 11. I have things I need to do tomorrow, i.e. the Cardiac Scan and my friend's 26th anniverary. So I pray that I get to each of these, perhaps I'll sleep during the test as it is 4 hours long starting at noon.

I can't eat 4 hours before the test. I have only grazed today, and haven't had dinner. It is a good thing it didn't say don't eat after midnight. If it had, I would have been eating my creamed salmon now instead of posting this. LOL!

So it all means that I have been blocking the energy or over extending myself and over doing things for someone who has fibromyalgia. As my AA sponsor use to say, I get tired just listening to what you do in a day. They say you should only do 3 things in a day. There have been days where those three things were having a shower, eating meals, and doing dishes, which means that all I do on the computer, going downtown, and all the other things I do are extra energy that isn't always available to people with fibromyalgia.

I keep forgetting that mental work and emotional situations are just as tiring as the physical. Perhaps I just need to reword my prayers or ask for more than I do. I try not to be specific, I just pray for what I need in that moment for healing and to undo the blockage in my mind, body, and soul. Perhaps, I don't ask enough, but I think it is that I don't stop long enough for the energy to do the healing. It is there, but I have blocked it out.

It wasn't until I could find a spiritual reason to quit smoking, that I was able even able to attempt to quit and to follow through on a plan.

God grant me the serenity, to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference. Your will, not mine be done. Amen.

[caressa]

Needed to read this again. My energy has been almost none existant. I went downtown today for two houors and had to come home and lie down. I didn't sleep, but I had no choice, I had to lay down, whether on my couch or my bed. I chose my bed with it's fuzzy blanket.

I had a burger downtown because I knew I just didn't have the energy to cook supper. I had a ham salad sandwich before I laid down earlier. I woke up at 11 a.m. had lunch, went to bed about noon and woke up again at 3 p.m. and left for downtown at 3:30 p.m. Here it is about 12 hours later, and not sure if I am ready to go to sleep. I was tired earlier, but more my bottom from sitting, than from any activity.

My new medication is suppose to help fibromyalgia and is an anti-depressant. My fibro is the worse it has been in a long time and I have never been more depressed than I have been. At least that is the only reason I can see for the way my body is acting. When I tried to talk to the doctor, he ignored me. Hopefully when I see the new doctor next month, he won't do that. I am looking forward to having some communication with him.

Before I had no energy because I was getting no sleep. Yesterday I had 17 hours and my energy level is worse. Maybe it is trying to play catch up. Two nights of sleep isn't going to fix years of not sleeping. So it is acceptance again, just like our program, it is not a quick fix. Recovery is a process, and that includes fibromyalgia too.

[majestyjo]

Things do repeat themselves and come full circle. I just said to a friend today, "My Fibro has come out of remission and I am hurting more than I have hurt in a long time."

Emotions can be a big trigger for pain. They can often get your attention and make themselves known by physical pain.

The best way to overcome the mental and the physical is to top up the spiritual.

The nice thing is, we can start our day any time. We can stop and ask for help for the next 24 hours.