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Post by SunnyGirl on Sept 19, 2011 14:13:47 GMT -5
Al-Anon gives us all kinds of slogans for our recovery
tool box. One that has helped me so much these last
few years is "How Important Is It".... When your living with
an active alcoholic/addict the lines get kind of blurred.
What might seem like minor inconvenience to many people
can feel like a major crisis to others. And I don't know about
others, but I have times where I swear I can read the tea leaves
and know exactly what's going to happen in the future. The
sad part is, I'm only right about 50% of the time.... go figure!
I've learned to use the slogan above and it takes me into
another thought process. I have my personal truths, but
I have no right to impose them on others. I have no right
to argue for "my way" or the highway.... In the grand scheme
of life is this the path I want to take? NO, it's just not that
important.
I've learned that I can back off and I can tell the person,
"you could be right"..... Another slogan, "do you want to
be right, or happy" also comes to mind! All I want today,
is peace at any price.... I no longer care enough to
argue my point and I am going to let go of that stubbornness,
that makes me want to push and push to make myself heard.
Peace on the journey, SG
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Post by caressa on Sept 19, 2011 22:31:16 GMT -5
When I think of the slogan "How Important is it?" I think, nothing is worth my sobriety. Sobriety being clean and sober and having soundness of mind. On the other side, I believe in my sense of self, and I feel I have a right to stand up for what I believe in, my rights as a person, and have the right to speak up for what I believe in. How the other person, reacts is none of my business. They do not have to agree. It is good to be able to agree to disagree.
I could never be happy if I discounted myself as a person and didn't stand up for who I am in today. That doesn't mean, it is right to bring someone down to make myself feel better. It doesn't mean, feeding an arguement, and it doesn't mean, trying to make someone feel they are wrong and I am right.
It reminds me of what is says in Step Ten. for every finger I point at someone or something, I have three coming back at me telling me to look at my own stuff.
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Post by Lin on Sept 23, 2011 11:08:24 GMT -5
SG...I can't tell you how many, many times I have used both of those saysings. For many years it was my job to PROVE I was right and others were wrong. I'd argue and do whatever I had to do to prove it. Now I ask myself if I want to be happy or want to be right. And since I'd rather be happy, I let it go. I rememebr once my spouse was drinking. I am no dummy. I KNEW he was, btu he said he was not. (how stupid of me to even ASK???) so I had to go through the house to his hiding places and get all of the empty vodka bottles I coudl find. I lined them up on the dresser and left them there for days. He finally threw them away. Today Idont have to go looking for the bottles. I dont even ask if h'es drinking when I know he is.
And the slogan of YOU MAY BE RIGHT...has been such a blessing to me to avoid stupid arguments. He loved to push my buttons and I'd argue and argue. Now I say YOU MAY BE RIGHT>..I am not telling him you ARE right, but it usually shuts him up. Recently he tried to push my buttons and I told him I'd talk to him abotu it tomorrow. (he was extrememly drink) Then I walked off. He tried to get my attention to come back by throwing an open full water bottle out into t he hallway, but I ignored it.
Both great slogans!
LIN
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Post by BW on Sept 23, 2011 15:12:05 GMT -5
"You could be right......" LOL My grandmother used to tell me somefolks actually do believe their own "BS"...in that respect...they do believe they are right...I finally figured out it wasn't my job to prove 'em wrong or to get them to conform to my way of thinking and just like others have said..I do want to be happy and at peace...I do not have to believe as they do..I do not have to agree with them.
Yet I don't have to stay in the boxing ring either.. I can say..."You may be right" and I can move on.
You know what? It is way less exhausting too!!!
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Post by caressa222 on Sept 18, 2020 2:28:13 GMT -5
You are ight BW. It is a real gift to look back and have the ability to laugh at oneself.
My sobriety comes first. Honesty must come first. How we can deceive ourselves.
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.