Post by caressa on Oct 5, 2011 17:28:24 GMT -5
Our greatest strengths taken too far become our greatest defects and our greatest defects tamed, become our virtues. Wrongly used, honesty can become brutal confrontation, nurturing can become 'I'll fix you," and consistency can become inflexibility.
I examine my Fourth Step list and see how, properly used, each fault becomes a feature I desire.
- Pocket Sponsor
This gave me a pause for thought. I remember thinking, honesty, honesty, must be honest. I can't be honest and be hurtful and blunt to someone else's expense. That isn't recovery. That is not spiritual.
There is always a better way to say something. There are options. Instead of saying, "That is an ugly dress." You can say, "The colour suits you," or "It must make you feel good to have something new," or "I'm glad you like it, I don't think it would look good on me."
Again, I have to ask myself, what is my motive and intent. Is it "To set someone straight?" or "Is it to put them down so I'll feel better for having superior taste and knowledge?" We are suppose to help others, not tear them down to build them up. They are already down, they don't need humiliated. That is not humility!
I know when I was using, my tongue was a real weapon. I tore strips off of people and forgot to put them back together again. In today, I try to put them back together. I had and still have a lot of amends to do because of this. I will have to continue sharing my recovery, until my God decides to take me from this Earth to make up for all the harm I did to others and to myself.
I examine my Fourth Step list and see how, properly used, each fault becomes a feature I desire.
- Pocket Sponsor
This gave me a pause for thought. I remember thinking, honesty, honesty, must be honest. I can't be honest and be hurtful and blunt to someone else's expense. That isn't recovery. That is not spiritual.
There is always a better way to say something. There are options. Instead of saying, "That is an ugly dress." You can say, "The colour suits you," or "It must make you feel good to have something new," or "I'm glad you like it, I don't think it would look good on me."
Again, I have to ask myself, what is my motive and intent. Is it "To set someone straight?" or "Is it to put them down so I'll feel better for having superior taste and knowledge?" We are suppose to help others, not tear them down to build them up. They are already down, they don't need humiliated. That is not humility!
I know when I was using, my tongue was a real weapon. I tore strips off of people and forgot to put them back together again. In today, I try to put them back together. I had and still have a lot of amends to do because of this. I will have to continue sharing my recovery, until my God decides to take me from this Earth to make up for all the harm I did to others and to myself.
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.