Being OK with not knowing

[justjo]

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Not knowing, is not the problem. Not being OK with not knowing is the problem.

I don't need to figure it out. I just need to do it.

This puts my whole problem in a nutshell. It is the not knowing and yet fearful of hearing because I might hear what I don't want to hear. I had the thought the other day that I was glad that my son is in another province because I think I would be heart broken if I saw him face to face. And yet, having said that, "I know I would bundle him up in a big hug and be just so happy to see him.

I know there is stuff I don't know, yet I have a very vivid imaginaton and after being in the rooms for several years I have heard a lot of horror stories as well as having lived my own.

I know he has to make his choice. He has to choose his path. I as powerless over his disease as I was of my own when I too was out there practicing.

[Cherie]

Nov 10, 2011 18:12:44 GMT -5 @justjo said:

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Not knowing, is not the problem. Not being OK with not knowing is the problem.

I don't need to figure it out. I just need to do it.

When we're under pressure, we humans have mental self-
defense mechanisms that close doors to unpleasant issues.
It's called the old "ostrich-head-in-the-ground" syndrome.
This is what I use when I start getting worried or fearing for
my Son's safety.

Also, I have given my Son's issues to God.... I have no control,
but I have faith that God will watch over him and eventually HE
will lead my Son in the direction he needs to be heading. If
I trust God, I should never be afraid..... being human I do allow
fear to rear it's ugly head, just try to let it go, ASAP.... (always
say a prayer).

Hugs, Cherie

[justjo]

Thanks Cherie, I like that "Always say a prayer." Don't they say, "Worry, is fear that hasn't said it's prayers." Perhaps, it is reversed.

I call it a contract between my God and my son's God, give him what he needs in today.

[majestyjo]

My son has hjs I am in own HP and I am not it.