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Post by justjo on Nov 16, 2011 23:02:13 GMT -5
A temper will get us into trouble and pride will keep us there. I can't save my face and my butt at the same time. - Pocket Sponsor How many times, I was going to get back, 'fix' you, I'll get even with you for that one, and hang on to a resentment, and allow my pride to not give in, not willing to surrender, and the next thing I know, everything is blown out of proportion and no one wants to give in. How many times I got angry, it is all his (her) fault, they are the ones with the problem and the disease, forgetting it is a family disease, and what my A has, I do too. It isn't always about them, it is about me and my own defects of character. I am not lily white and without faults of my own. As I shared with a friend last night, it is often the pot calling the kettle black. We don't realize that what we see in others, is a reflection from something within ourselves. Not only not being able to save face or preventing ourselves from falling on our butt, often it is taking one foot out to put the other one in. We can't take the words back, we can't cover them up, and we compound interest by adding to the problem by opening our mouthes again. Attachments:
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Post by caressa on Nov 24, 2011 2:11:01 GMT -5
For so many years, I was looking outward, and didn't see my own downward spiral. I firmly believe we are products of our environment. The more we are associated with the alcohol, be I drink it, or it is a party of my dysfunctional family, the more sick I became, although no one could tell me. It was others who were making me sick. I didn't know I didn't have to take on thing projected on to me. I didn't know it wasn't my job to follow and pick up the pieces. I didn't know that I had a right to be me and I didn't have to justify my existance. We lose our values, and as the reading I read today, I often dilute my program to fit the person. I had never heard of the epxression before. I guess it is like being a fair-weather friend. As the slogan says, "Let it begin with me." I can't give to others unless I can find it within myself first. I have no right to crab at someone else for my conceived wrong. I need to look at myself, and make things right with my God. Attachments:
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Post by Lin on Dec 2, 2011 14:50:01 GMT -5
I have work4ed on mine for many years but impatience is the one that jumps up the most often. It was actualkly the one I decided to work on first. I guess I stilll need to do some work on it! LIN
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Post by SunnyGirl on Dec 2, 2011 17:37:20 GMT -5
Anger is a defect that I've worked on for years, but I really have done much better with it. THINK.... is a simple word, but now before I fall into the trap of anger, I only need to say this one word before I open my mouth and that ends it.
Lack of patience is probably the one thing I will be working on forever.... I keep trying to practice it but there are just to many days that I lose it and it's back to square one!
Peace on the journey, SG
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Post by BW on Dec 3, 2011 14:07:11 GMT -5
Anger and fear still get mixed int together for me.. I feel that meat grinder in the belly and sometimes it takes me a while of pondering to figure out if it is anger or fear.. Sometimes they are so intertwined that I just rthrow up my hands and say..."Ya know what God...it don't matter which it is..Regardless which one it is, I just have to surrender it to you --Teach me what i need to do and let's get past it. " Then as time and distance separates me from it it is thru the glasses of retrospection that I can see more clearly.
I know that "PAUSE" button is being put to excellant use ..I just have to use caution and ensure I do not go into freeze mode if and when it is fear...Been there done that and now have the T-shirt which I use as a rag for mopping us as a reminder
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Post by justjo on Dec 3, 2011 17:07:12 GMT -5
Thanks for sharing ladies. For me, it has been anger, hard to let go because I never felt it, no gut feelings until 7 years sober.
Under the anger was a lot of things like fears, rejection, and abandonment issues. It was very deep because it had been surpressed out of fear.
Patience has always been a biggy for me, very short on it along with the tolerance. It was nice to get affirmed as being more patient than I use to be by my friend.
Not organized and disciplined either, on any given day, one of them can pop up but thanks to the program, I have the tools to deal with it. The good thing is being able to recognize it for what it is before it runs it's course.
I am so grateful that my hissy fits are few and far between.
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Post by majestyjo on Aug 12, 2015 12:51:47 GMT -5
Self-honesty was so difficult because I shut down at such an early age. I had major surgery to remove a birth mark at 1 year and was scalded with hot water and hospitalized at 18 months. I saw my brother killed when I was 3 and he was 2, and I blamed myself for his death because I called to him to come out of the way and he was coming toward me. Our house was struck by lightning when I was 5. Then life happened, and everything was compounded and I didn't know how to deal with my feelings, so I internalized them, shut them off, ignored them and pretended they were not there. The only problem is, when you shut down the negative, you block out all things, including God and Good Orderly Direction. You can't hear what you don't want to hear. You can't see what is often in front of you, especially if you don't want to acknowledge that it is there. I know that when I came into recovery, I was a walking "It" and the void was very black and it took a long time to fill it up. The only thing that satisfied was Spirituality, other substances and substitutions didn't work.
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