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Anxiety
Nov 28, 2011 22:45:25 GMT -5
Post by justjo on Nov 28, 2011 22:45:25 GMT -5
The measure of my anxiety is the measure of my distance from God.
- Unknown origin. Aust.A very true statement and one that made me pause and think. I don't have the anxiety I had prior to recovery, thanks to the tools of the program. I don't have that Grrrrrr feeling and I don't have to until the knots in my stomach like I use to. I haven't had to get off the bus or walk out of the grocery store because there are too many people or too much noise. What I have had problems with is getting out the door of my apartment. The other day it took me three days to go down and check my mail. Not afraid of what I would receive, it was just the fact that getting dressed, going out my door and on the elevator was too much of a chore. I didn't feel like socializing and seeing anyone. I have never had this before although I have heard of it from others. I don't NOT eat, but lately it seems like too much effort to cook a meal; so instead of eating healthy, I eat a sandwich, raisin bread, or muffins. Just too many carbs and sugar and no protein. When I get feeling like this, I end up not liking myself very much, and then I have even more work to do on myself. Because of this, I have started doing more meditations with my cards. They keep me focused on what I need to be addressing and I get to be still and quiet my mind so I can hear the Good Orderly Direction that I need to change the situation. Attachments:
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Post by caressa on Dec 4, 2011 4:47:46 GMT -5
Took time out once for meditation, as I worked through the day, prayed as needed when I need some good orderly direction. I had a lot of pain today, right from the time I got out of bed at 1 p.m. Then it was my feet, now it is the hands and feet, so I think it is the pseudogout. Whether it is triggered by feelings and emotions, I don't know. I just know that I have been a hurting unit. It is suppose to rain later today, so that is probably the biggest conributing factor. After my last visit to my sister's, I have some anxiety about going for 3 days. It is not like I could hop a bus and go home if I wanted to leave as she lives in the country. I am not sure I want to be away from my computer that long. I did tell my sister, I will see how I am by then. Noise and smells have been bad for me lately so hopefully the Benedryl will help with that. If her new fireplace doesn't burn would, I think I will go. I think it is gas the same as her new kitchen stove. Really not a lot to be anxious about. It was a pretty good day and nothing too awful happening. I bought 2 stocking stuffers and one a free one and won $9. got back $5. and bought two tickets, won on the both of them $15. and now I have another $5. winner. Seeing as I won twice I bought a Lotto 649 ticket worth $7 million. Now that I have won the $5. I don't expect to win on Lotto! Not much of a gambler, I checked last Wednesday's ticket yesterday, needless to say, I didn't win or I wouldn't be sitting here. I would have been off to Toronto to collect my winnings. That would give me lots of reasons to be anxios.
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Anxiety
Dec 4, 2011 16:50:39 GMT -5
Post by BW on Dec 4, 2011 16:50:39 GMT -5
For me, anxiety is quite simply lack of acceptance. My sponosr and others around me had to remind me often that acceptance does not mean I have to like it.. It took me a very long time to learn that issues and problems were about attitude.. I could see them as issues and problems or I could choose to see them as solutions waiting to happen.
If for example "Noise and smells" were the only issues, I might suggest ear plugs or an IPOD music thingy with ear buds and asking your sister if she would concider either investing in or renting an air viltration system [there are portable ones]..
In our Big Book in the 24 hour plan which begins on page 86 it tells me and suggests to me what to do when faced with indecision. At the bottom of page 87 it suggests what I need to do when agitated or anxious. Then it gives me one of those "warning reminders" "We constantly remind ourselves we are no longer running the show, humbly saying to ourselves many times [not once] each day Thy will be done.""
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Anxiety
Dec 4, 2011 19:19:52 GMT -5
Post by justjo on Dec 4, 2011 19:19:52 GMT -5
Thank BW, I knew it was there, that is why I said to my sister, we will see how it goes. I never know what is at hand. I do read and have read the Big Book and try to remember what I am suppose to do when a situation comes up.
The last time I was there I slept 2 hours, and ended up sleeping mid-morning until 2 p.m. My sister and her husband arrived from Tweed at noon, and I missed 2 hours of their visit. That isn't very social and not easy to do with 18 kids running around, even with my ear plugs. There won't be all the kids this time, there will probably be only 8 adults. There will be a much bigger crowd when Sarah Comes home more like 30+ and it will be good to see them all. My sister has a 4 bedroom house with cribs, and day beds everywhere. She has a beautiful home and always had a gorgeous tree.
If all I am going to do is stay in a bedroom and read a book at night and sleep in the day time, not much sense in being there. It isn't respectful, it isn't courteous, it isn't fun, and it sometimes just can't be helped. Hoping with the new sleeping pills to get my nights and days back in order so things will be better. I am working on it and I am doing the do things. I had a big problem with my sister's in-laws, but over the years, I have learned acceptance and realize they don't have program and just have to recognize where they are coming from.
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