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Post by SunnyGirl on Dec 2, 2003 16:15:20 GMT -5
There have been times when I have had to simply walk
away from a person, knowing in my heart that there was
no longer any hope, the relationship would survive.
.......and it hurts!
Acceptance is the key to my recovery! Accepting God's
will, has not always been easy. I know what I want, but
God see's the outcome and I don't...... I am learning
to trust God, as a child would trust their father, to know
what is best for them.
I was reading online today and came across the quote
below......
Sometimes I think God does make me feel uncomfortable!
I belive there is a lesson HE wants me to learn, or maybe
there is some action I need to take. Learning to sit on
the fence and wait for HIS answer is not always easy.
New beginnings are sometimes uncomfortable, but when
I let go and trust God, I know everthing will turn out ok.
Peace on the journey, ~SG~
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Post by Caressa2 on Dec 2, 2003 23:18:50 GMT -5
Sure do identify with this post my friend. I was in what I called a relationship for three years and he said "He offered me kindness" I know we saw each other when it was good for each other, and I think it was more a convenience than an intimacy. I can see the difference in today, because what I have with my new friend is completely different.
It wasn't right or wrong, it just no longer served a purpose. I was his "safe" place away from his job and his mother, and when his mother passed away, he no longer had to run away from home. It doesn't sound good in the telling, yet I had a lot of feelings for this person, and it was difficult to let go and realize we were coming from two different directions, and it was mean to be, but it wasn't forever and ever. He said he had a lesson to teach me, and believe me, I learned several.
The scarey part was the fact that it was the healthiest relationship I have had in my 60 years of living.
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Post by SunnyGirl on Dec 3, 2003 11:44:15 GMT -5
Mornin Caressa,
Letting Go.....
Through the years, this process has been so difficult
for me! Today, I just keep hanging on to the fact that
God gives me everything I need! When HE closes
a door, I may wait in the hall for a little while, but then
I will look for the open window......
Peace on the journey..... ~SG~
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Post by dg on Dec 3, 2003 16:35:28 GMT -5
Sg~ Thank you for your post on ending relationships. This is the most hardest breakup I ever have been in. So many times I would say, Let him go, and walk away in the other path, and each time I would bend and try to hang on to something that I can't grasp on to. Today, I tried again, to let him go, and told him that he can't be in my life for I have to be able to let him go. It made me very sad, cuz, he is the addict, that thinks I caused him 9 years of pain.  and all along with piles of cards, letters, poems telling me what a wonderful marriage we had~ Hopefully this time around, it will stick for I dont' want to be in pain anymore. |
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Post by Caressa2 on Dec 3, 2003 23:03:48 GMT -5
What I came to realize was that I couldn't hang onto something that wasn't mine in the first place.
There was no committment, no honest communication (at least not by both parties, needless to say, I did all the talking), and we never went anywhere. I came to realize that I was not being respected and I was not respecting myself as a person by hanging onto someone, who wasn't willing to share because in truth, they didn't really care!
It was difficult to reach this conclusion, and even harder to accept. A lot was my own illusion and wishful thinking, and I saw only what I wanted to.
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Post by SunnyGirl on Dec 5, 2003 19:36:16 GMT -5
Hi Dg...
I meant to reply to your message yesterday, but I
got sidetracked..... You may have guessed, but I
do a lot of reading from the Melody Beattie books, ;D
so much of it is really profound.
Just know that God, will give you the strength to do
what ever HE leads you to do. Two things you will
need on this journey, are trust and faith!
..... and you have many recovery friends that will be
there for you, when you need a shoulder to lean on!
+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++
Moving Forward
Much as we would like, we cannot bring everyone with
us on this journey called recovery. We are not being
disloyal by allowing ourselves to move forward. We
don't have to wait for those we love to decide to
change as well.
Sometimes we need to give ourselves permission to
grow, even though the people we love are not ready
to change. We may need to leave people behind in
their addictionuffering because we cannot recover for
them. We don't need to suffer with them. It doesn't
help.
It doesn't help for us to stay stuck just because
someone we love is stuck. The potential for helping
others is far greater when we detach, work on
ourselves, and stop trying to force others to change
with us.
Changing ourselves, allowing ourselves to grow while
others seek their own path, is how we have the most
beneficial impact on people we love. We're accountable
for ourselves. They're accountable for themselves. We
let them go, and let ourselves grow.
Today, I will affirm that it is my right to grow and
change, even though someone I love may not be
growing and changing alongside me.
From: The Language Of Letting Go-
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Post by dg on Dec 5, 2003 22:56:23 GMT -5
Thank you Cherie with all my heart for this post. You really made my day a little bit better all the way around.  (((hugs))) |
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Post by SunnyGirl on Dec 6, 2003 23:37:22 GMT -5
(((((((( Donna ))))))))))
That's what friends are for........
Hugs, ~SG~
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Post by mrsspanish on Dec 25, 2003 0:46:32 GMT -5
TEXTTEXTthanks sunnygirl for the post. i can certainly identify. ending my relationship with my husband was the hardest thing i did but the best. All the best for a happy holiday!
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and all along with piles of cards, letters, poems telling me what a wonderful marriage we had~
~With Peace & Love, dg~ 8*)[/b][/size]
(((hugs)))
Hugs, Doris