Topic of the Week: Powerlessness

[justjo]

Where love rules, there is no will to power; and where power predominates, there love is lacking.

- Carl Jung

As we work our program we learn about powerlessness. We learn that we are powerless over much of what shapes our life except our own attitudes and behavior. When we forget this and try to control other people's behavior or feelings, we destroy our serenity and theirs. When we dig in our heals, certain that our ideas are best, each moment is filled with tension, and whatever joy and peace there might have been is dissipated.

Working our program has also taught us about acceptance and flexibility. When we bend a little and accept ourselves and others for who we are in the moment, joy and peace flourish. We become enriched and free to receive what God has to giveus through each situation or relationship.

All we need to know about living a life of peace and joy will be shown us.

I will relax and accept God's lesson about living peacefully and joyfully today.

This is today's reading from "In God's Care" by Karen Casey and Homer Pyle. It is my favorite meditation book and comes from Hazelden and is daily meditations on Spirituality in Recovery.

It spoke volumns to me, and it was only by substituting the word control, that I could come to an understanding of my powerlessness.

I had no concept of the word, and there was no way that you could tell me that I didn't have that power. It wasn't until I heard two things that the light went on. 1) If you have to control it, it is already out of control. 2) Control is an illusion. When I looked back at my life, I saw how many times I had tried to make my husband, son and dad, do what I thought they should do, especially about THEIR drinking. It didn't matter that I could outdrink them all, I didn't act like they did when I was drinking. I walked a straight line. I drove on my own side of the road, I didn't get pulled over. I had people say, "I have never seen you drunk yet." But how can I be sober, I DRANK! Most times more than they did. I had a friend who had two beers and was bombed. She was still walking around at 20 beers, and be no better or no worse than she was at 2. When I drank, it was how many did I have 20 or 22. I didn't like beer, so I am not an alcoholic. Yet you can't drink that much alcohol and be sober, but you couldn't convinc me.

Today I know, that when I surrender to my Higher Power, I am EMPOWERED to do what I need to do on a daily basis. He does not control me, He gives me freedom of choice. I get to choose if I want to listen to Him or do it my way.

Control is an illusion, every time I tried to control, I got hurt anyway. Seldom did it turn out the way I wanted or people did what I wanted them to do. If it did happen, it was certainly only for a short time, and people drifted back into old habits, or moved on to new things. As they say, this too shall pass, so in the moment it isn't right, according to me. Things work out or fails, do I take the credit or the blame.

As my sponsor told me, you are not responsible if your sponsees stay sober or goes back out and uses. You do not have that power. You are powerless over people, places and things.

My life is unmanageable, when managed by me. One day at a time, I will remember the A B Cs, I can't, God can, and just for today, I choose to let Him.

[justjo]

What is powerlessness? When I was drinking and using, I thought I was all powerful. I thought I was the leading authority on everything, just ask me. As the Country Music song says, "10 ft. Tall and Bullet Proof. We could do no wrong and no one else could do right.

What an egotistal way of thinking and living. No wonder we lost all our friends. We say we isolate, I think it is more people detached and we were left alone, no one wanted to be around us. I sure didn't get much accomplished when I was a screaming shrew, no one listened or did what I said.

I thought my life was manageable, and yet how many times did I move, change jobs, robbed Peter to pay Paul, only made partial payments, bought the day olds or the poor quality as long as it looked good, more importantly to make me look good.

What I didn't realize was that the obsession had taken over my brain and my dis-ease was telling me what to do and I lost my power to think and do for myself. It lead me in the direction it wanted to go, which was down. I am not my disease but my disease wanted to be me.

I am powerless of people (relationships, family, friends, neighbor, employer, etc.), places (bars, Legion, bed, grocery store, etc.) and things (food, alcohol, pills, computer, TV, etc.) and because I was powerless over these things, my life was unmanageable.

[justjo]

Really had a big laugh. I did a search for "powerless" on the site and got 4 responses, all posts that I wrote this month. With that search engine, I am surely powerless. The say that powerlessness isn't a word. I know what it means to me. I can't, God can, and today I have a choice as to whether I turn my will and my life over to Him or just my disease.

I choose to practice the principles in all my affairs. I choose to have my God take care of all aspects of my life. As the saying goes, "When I remember, I never had it so good.

[majestyjo]

Food for thought. In today I choose to take my God with me. I just can't take him for granted. I have to ask for direction.

[caressa222]

When we surrender to the program, the 12 Steps, traditions, and Concepts, we are empowered to do what we need to do to stay clean and sober on today.

[caressa222]

When I get stuck, perhaps it is time to move on to a new Step, or go back and look at one I either missed, or go and look at one and find new awareness and a spiritual awakening.


Step 3 was the big one for me, until I got to Step 11. Step 11 is a maintenance Step, and something I need to practice.


Steps 10, 11, and 12 allow me to find sobriety, not just stay clean and sober. Sobriety is peace of mind. I have to work on my emotional sobriety daily, that is why I have to keep coming back.

We get choked up and stymied by things around us, and we allow 'things' and 'stuff' to block us from going with the flow of life.