Helpless or Hopeless

[SunnyGirl]

Talked with my younger sis this morning but only for a
few moments. She was waiting for her ride to pick her
up and take her to an appointment at the "pain clinic".
Lord knows she has pain, but from what I can see
these laser procedures don't seem to be helping.
According to her, today and tomorrow are the last
time she is going.... I say good riddance!

I have to work real hard to be patient with her....
and sometimes it is very difficult. I had invited her
to a family dinner when my daughter was here,
they were both looking forward to seeing each other.
Phone calls went back and forth between them and
Sis was angry that her niece wasn't in agreement
with her.... she feels the niece went over to the "dark
side" (agreeing with me & the older sis). It's such
a silly game she is playing, she is alienating everyone
around her.

My game plan is, to continue doing what I feel good
about.... I can not be her everything as I have my own
life to live! Every conversation with her is about "poor me"
and it's getting very old. I keep suggesting she count her
blessings instead of worrying about the "coulda-woulda-
shoulda's".... Her favorite past time is looking backwards
toward the past! Her 2nd favorite is, "what can you do
for me today"..... I've listened to this for 2 years now
and I have to cut the conversations short as they upset
me. "Insanity is endlessly repeating the same process,
and expecting different results"....

Peace on the journey, SG

[caressa]

Thanks for sharing SG. To me, people are helpless unless they want to help themselves. There is nothing we can do but pray for them.

Many times, I was close to hopeless, not only for me but for my son. But while their is breath there is hope. As long a God is on the throne, there is always hope. When I stop praying, I am the one who is hopeless.

[SunnyGirl]

thank you for sharing Caressa....

[SunnyGirl]

Sis has been living on her own for two years now....
Her Son and Brother-in-law have been helping her
a little more with shopping etc... I go over only a
couple times a month now, but talk to her nearly every
day.

Her most recent problem centers around a neighbor,
that she allowed into her apartment and ended up stealing
her most prized jewelery and her pain meds. She is
now so depressed over the loss, she's in a downward
spiral. In talking to her this morning she started to
rehash her loss and I cut her off and said that's history
now. Let it go... Gave her a little pep talk and reminded
her that the jewelery(given to her by her now deceased
husband) is gone, but she has pictures and memories and
no one can take them from her.

I just hope that she learns a lesson from all this....
it may be a painful lesson but like the saying goes,
"If it doesn't kill you, it will make you stronger"!
She is moving into a new apartment, closer to me,
in December.... I just hope that she can choose who
she lets into her place, a little better from now on!

Peace on the journey, SG

[caressa]

Continued prayers SG. As my sponsor use to say, "Pray for a spiritual awakening" and the person won't be able to continue doing what they are doing."

[Lin]

Helpless or hopeless....I never thought abotu the differences in these two words. HMM. Perhaps in my min a person who is helpless can't help them selves. But one who is hopeless has the idea in their minds that their lives can never be made any better.

Will have to think more on this one.

LIN

[caressa]

Thanks for the thought Lin, gets me thinking too. There are different kinds of helplessness, and for whatever reason, be it mental, emotional or physical. If I reach out, the help is there. There was a barrier there which prevented me from doing that reaching out, mainly an old tape that told me I should be able to do it myself without asking for help. I expected me to do the job, no matter what and put up high expectations. In today, I know that through my God, all things are possible. The difference is knowing that I don't have to do it alone.

Hopeless to me is having tried and couldn't do and you feel you have no hope of ever being able to do it. I was pretty hopeless when I came into recovery. The Twelve Promises are what gave me hope. My first meeting, where I heard two very powerful women share their story, gave me a little hope, but wasn't too sure that the program would work for me. Yet when I looked at where I had been and where I was in the moment, I realized that I had inner resources that could be channelled into my recovery, and the program would work for me if I worked it.

Hope is a strange bedfellow, there will be let downs and disappointments, but all we have to do is try. As the saying goes, the failure isn't in doing and falling short of your expectations, the failure is in the not trying.