Post by caressa on Mar 24, 2012 14:25:13 GMT -5
This old codger saying he'd spilt more than I'd drunk. I thought; 'If you hadn't spilt so much you might have got here earlier.' - Anon.
Alkiespeaks
This made me chuckle, as I had several of those old codgers, say the same thing to me. One young fellow in the fellowship said, "if I drank like you did, I would still be drinking."
What a lot of them didn't take into account was the fact that I was also injesting dried-up alcohol and when you combine the two, it was more than enough. If I hadn't done that, I might not have come in, or I might have died before I realized I needed to be here.
I knew that drinking was a part of my problem, but didn't think I was an alcoholic. Talk like that just kept me in denial a lot longer. The good thing was, because of my awareness, I kept going to AA, and finally the cloud lifted and I could see the whole picture.
I am grateful I didn't drink more. I only drank the amount that was available. Because of my income, I couldn't afford to keep myself in the style that I would like to become accustom to. It wasn't until I was in recovery, that I found out that alcohol and pills were just a symptom of my disease and that the problem was me.
Comparing myself to others and comparing others to me, kept me sick for a long time. I qualify for just about any room you put me in and if I had kept on comparing and thinking myself better than or not as bad as, I would have gone back out. For me to do that would have been to die. I couldn't listen to what others said, I had to have my own knowingness, find my own truth, and walk the recovery road, my Higher Power lead and guided me to.
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.