Post by caressa on Jul 27, 2012 22:36:58 GMT -5
Dear Mom/Dad/Husband/Wife
(the following letter is from an unknown drug addict.)
I am a drug abuser. I need help.
Don't try to solve my problems for me.
This only makes me lose respect for you -
and for myself.
Don't lecture, moralize, scold, blame, or argue
whether I'm stoned or sober. It may make you
feel better, but it only makes the situation worse.
Don't accept my promises. The nature of my illness
prevents my keeping them, even though I mean them
at the time. Promises are only my way of postponing
pain.
And don't keep switching agreements; if an agreement
is made, stick to it.
Don't lose your temper with me. It will destroy you
and any possibility of helping me.
Don't let your anxiety for me make you do what I
should do for myself.
Don't believe everything I tell you. Often I don't even
know the truth - let alone tell it.
Don't cover up or try to spare me the consequences
of my using. It may reduce the crisis, but it will make
my illness worse.
Above all, don't run away from reality as I do.
Drug dependence, my illness, gets worse as my
using continues.
Start now to learn, to understand, to plan for your
own recovery. Find Families Anonymous, Nar-Anon,
Al-Anon or CoDA; those groups exist to help families
in just your situation.
I need help - from a doctor, a psychologist, a counselor,
from some people in a self-help program who are in
recovery from a drug problem themselves - and from
a Power greater than myself.
Love, Your "User"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I can remember the first time I was told about
12 step recovery for the friends and loved one's
of the addict. It seemed like such a stupid idea,
it was the addict that had a problem, NOT ME!
Well, the truth is, I was a sick as my " dear addict", I
played a BIG part in the insanity that invaded my home.
As I read the letter above, I was mentally checking
off each " don't" and I was guilty of almost each and
every one of them.
•I tried desperately to fix each problem that came up
•I screamed, pleaded, wagged my finger, when they
were stoned and sober
•I believed each and every lie I was told and was
heartbroken with each one.
•I would set rules in the home and when they were
broken I would change the rules again.
•I argued, screamed and even became physical at times.
•I ran behind the addict, trying to take care of your
business.
•I called in sick for the addict and tried to make sure
all the responsible things were taken care of
•In short, I buried my head in the sand and tried not
to see what was happening.
•I tried to shield family members/friends, from knowing
the truth about their addiction.
•Above all, I hid the truth from myself....
All those wasted years..... There was help and hope for me! It was possible to find serenity, whether the addict chose to uses or not.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is a family disease. It affect all those around the addict. Even when the addict has found recovery, the disease is still there, just arrested one day at a time. We are only given daily reprieve, contingent on our spiritual condition. We can slip back into old behaviors and act out in our disease in today, and as a result, this is a living program. We apply the Twelve Steps to our lives, and live in today. This applies to the addict be it the person addicted to drugs, alcohol, and other substances; or the person who is addicted to helping and caretaking, and controling others. It is all a Soul sickness, and by working the Steps, we can gain freedom from the bondage of addiction and cleansed of old patterns and old behaviors, one day at a time.
Found this on my site and I got it from here and was posted by SG and something I really need to read. Don't know where it is on the board, just needed to spend some time to process it and hoped it would help others, would not like it to get lost.
(the following letter is from an unknown drug addict.)
I am a drug abuser. I need help.
Don't try to solve my problems for me.
This only makes me lose respect for you -
and for myself.
Don't lecture, moralize, scold, blame, or argue
whether I'm stoned or sober. It may make you
feel better, but it only makes the situation worse.
Don't accept my promises. The nature of my illness
prevents my keeping them, even though I mean them
at the time. Promises are only my way of postponing
pain.
And don't keep switching agreements; if an agreement
is made, stick to it.
Don't lose your temper with me. It will destroy you
and any possibility of helping me.
Don't let your anxiety for me make you do what I
should do for myself.
Don't believe everything I tell you. Often I don't even
know the truth - let alone tell it.
Don't cover up or try to spare me the consequences
of my using. It may reduce the crisis, but it will make
my illness worse.
Above all, don't run away from reality as I do.
Drug dependence, my illness, gets worse as my
using continues.
Start now to learn, to understand, to plan for your
own recovery. Find Families Anonymous, Nar-Anon,
Al-Anon or CoDA; those groups exist to help families
in just your situation.
I need help - from a doctor, a psychologist, a counselor,
from some people in a self-help program who are in
recovery from a drug problem themselves - and from
a Power greater than myself.
Love, Your "User"
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I can remember the first time I was told about
12 step recovery for the friends and loved one's
of the addict. It seemed like such a stupid idea,
it was the addict that had a problem, NOT ME!
Well, the truth is, I was a sick as my " dear addict", I
played a BIG part in the insanity that invaded my home.
As I read the letter above, I was mentally checking
off each " don't" and I was guilty of almost each and
every one of them.
•I tried desperately to fix each problem that came up
•I screamed, pleaded, wagged my finger, when they
were stoned and sober
•I believed each and every lie I was told and was
heartbroken with each one.
•I would set rules in the home and when they were
broken I would change the rules again.
•I argued, screamed and even became physical at times.
•I ran behind the addict, trying to take care of your
business.
•I called in sick for the addict and tried to make sure
all the responsible things were taken care of
•In short, I buried my head in the sand and tried not
to see what was happening.
•I tried to shield family members/friends, from knowing
the truth about their addiction.
•Above all, I hid the truth from myself....
All those wasted years..... There was help and hope for me! It was possible to find serenity, whether the addict chose to uses or not.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
This is a family disease. It affect all those around the addict. Even when the addict has found recovery, the disease is still there, just arrested one day at a time. We are only given daily reprieve, contingent on our spiritual condition. We can slip back into old behaviors and act out in our disease in today, and as a result, this is a living program. We apply the Twelve Steps to our lives, and live in today. This applies to the addict be it the person addicted to drugs, alcohol, and other substances; or the person who is addicted to helping and caretaking, and controling others. It is all a Soul sickness, and by working the Steps, we can gain freedom from the bondage of addiction and cleansed of old patterns and old behaviors, one day at a time.
Found this on my site and I got it from here and was posted by SG and something I really need to read. Don't know where it is on the board, just needed to spend some time to process it and hoped it would help others, would not like it to get lost.
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.