Topic of the Week - Acceptance

[caressa]

It was a real issue when I first came in about accepting my alcoholism. I knew I was an addict, my drug of choice had been more all my life. When I acknowledge that alcohol was part of that "more" and that I had used alcohol along with other substances, I could admit to my disease. It made it easier to accept when I said, "Dis-ease" not comfortable within my own skin and always looking for something outside of myself to make me feel better.

Another acceptance was the amount of damage I did to my body over the years. Acceptance of all the wasted years and space as the song goes. Not sure if my fibromyalgia is a result of the physical or mental abuse, a car accident I had at 17, or a combination. I was told that I had PTSD, but not by a doctor, but by a therapist in later years when I went for sexual assault counseling. Again the acceptance came from the recovery phrase, "I had to go through what I went through to get to where I am in today."

Even in today, fibromyalgia affects so many aspects of my life, I still have to find acceptance on a daily basis.

With my son in active addiction, I have to accept his choices, I don't have to like them. I am as powerless over his disease as I was over my own, prior to coming into recovery and surrendering to the program.

Through the program I learned to accept a Higher Power into my life. I was very angry at my God. I had to make an amend to Him and I had to go on a spiritual journey to find out who God was to me. I had to make God personal. I couldn't accept other people's God, because I felt if I did, I would stop looking for God, then where would I be. I had to find my own God and build a relationship with Him/Her.

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[Lin]

Great topic! I used this for the meeting topic last time I chaired here.

For me one of the important reminders about acceptance is that I dont have to like it or approve of it to accept it. It's sort of like accepting the weather. I can't control it I jsut have to adapt to whatever it brings each day. Same with accepting the actions of those around me. I can't change them any more than I can change the weather. So I adapt and move on.

One thing that was hard for em to accept was that my husband may never completely QUIT drinking. Accepting his limitations with diabetes adn Parkinson's has been easier than accepting that. today I know that's the way it is.

LIN

[caressa]

Thanks for sharing Lin, you certainly have a lot to accept where your husband is concerned. The same for my son, but there is a lot in my own life, like growing older, swollen feet, and lately, I have this feeling that I have bands around my ankles like prisoners wear. Maybe it means I am a prisoner of my own making or of my own mind.

The program is applicable to all areas of my life, and for that I am so grateful.

[SunnyGirl]

Acceptance is always a good topic....

I equate it to the Serenity Prayer and the comfort that it gives me
when I recite it.

God, grant me the serenity to ACCEPT the things I cannot change!

I think everyone who comes to read on the boards: either has
an addiction (are recovering from one) or has a loved on that
is or was addicted. We are here because we've accepted that
fact and are looking forward to the changes that 12-step recovery
has given us. For me to change, I have to accept life on life's terms.

I've learned that whining and complaining never changed a single
thing in my life. Certainly never changed that fact that I am getting
older, but if I don't like looking at the gray hairs, I can put color
on it to change it. Or, I can accept the gray and consider them
each a gift from God and thank him for each and every one of them.
My health isn't wonderful, but I try not to focus on what I can't do,
but rather I am thankful for what I can do. The only cure for aging
is to die young....

I have accepted the fact that I have loved ones that are addicted...
I know that I can not change them, they have to come to the decision
that they want to change. I can be supportive of their efforts but it's
up to them....

Courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the
difference.

Sometimes courage means taking a leap of faith.... it takes action
on my part to make the change and often times it takes turning to
God and asking what my action plan should be. When I am having
trouble knowing what to do, I pray for wisdom, that HE will show me
what His will for me is.

Read this online:

"Acceptance, though a hard thing to do, is an essential thing that
helps you to improve in life. When you accept a friend with his plus
and minuses, you gain friendship. When you accept a past deed, you
prepare yourself to face the future, when you accept a situation, you
become more comfortable. Acceptance is the essence of life and if
we try to shun away from acceptance, life becomes a bed of thorns."

We don't have to like something to accept it, change isn't always
easy. I know that sometimes what felt like a horrible loss in my
life, now can be counted a blessing. We never know when a new
blessing might be right around the corner.

Peace on the journey, SG

[caressa]

Thanks SG, a new blessing or a new thing you need to accept. Life on life's terms, the difference, we have God on our side in today.

[Lin]

Excellent share SG! I also use the serenity prayer with my acceptance. Accepting that I woudl not be going to work each day was one of the toughest things I had to accept. It was actually time. It woudl be hard for me to get off to be with him on his out of town appointments if I was workign at either job. I think knowing that helped me accept.

Thanks ladies for the replies!
LIN