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Post by tired on Sept 22, 2004 9:11:41 GMT -5
Dear E O R friends As some of you know my son is in jail and will be there most likly until march hes been there since july there was an inmate there the first few weeks who was very positive and had a good effect on my son he is surrounded by negitivity my son is an addict and thinks he can come out and just smoke pot and never do anything else i guess denial is playing that mind game again he says he wants to change is life and dosnt want to do hard drugs anymore he just finished detoxing from methadone i was wondering if any of you have the time to write a letter and share some of your experiences i would be able to print it out and mail to him its just an idea would appreciate any input i cant mail books but can send letters thank you all love tired
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Post by dg on Sept 22, 2004 13:43:02 GMT -5
Hi tired,
I hope you can send this to your son, and also that what I say is helpful for you and your son as well too.
My husband is an addict. He has been trying to stay sober for the last 4 years, with no sucess at maintaining his soberity for long, only to be in jail 3 times in those 4 years. Its hard life to live sometimes with someone you care about and yet to be able to learn how to work the steps that goes along with it.
This is what I have learned~
With each jail time and soberity time, he too said I can just smoke pot and not do other drugs, or I can drink and not do other drugs, only to fail at maintaining his soberity. WHY? because those things to me, only is a crunch for one thing for another, and a trigger for the want to do the other stuff because it gives them that "high" that they are really aiming for in the first place.
Also, you really need to have that will NOT to want to go back on drugs is the main key. Wanting to smoke pot is not an answer to maintaining soberity in my opinion, especially if someone is a repeat drug offender.
And I have learned that this is basically a one day a time program in dealing with someone that truly wants to quit for good, and that my husband has a disease that only he can either make or break his addiction with only his will to want to stay sober. Its something that I can't do for him or change his ways of thinking. I can only hope tho that this time he will really be serious on his working on his program. Of course it takes alot of hard work at maintaining to stay clean, meaning with counceling, rehab, and going to meetings, ect but overall its the payoff that reaps rewards in the future.
I wish you luck , God Bless
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Post by lildee on Sept 23, 2004 18:18:40 GMT -5
Dearest tired,
The best thing you can do for your son is to work your own program. Get to meetings, do the step work, and stop enabling him. I am not trying to sound harsh but your son will only stay clean and sober if he wants it. There is nothing in this world that you can do to make him stay clean. What you can do is work on yourself. Build up your strength and courage to do what has to be done. Remember no matter what he says, no matter how much blame he tries to put on you, you did not cause his addiction, you cannot control it, and you cannot cure it.
Peace be with you on your journey to recovery,
lildee
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Post by tired on Sept 24, 2004 9:08:31 GMT -5
Dear DG and Lildee Thank you both for taking the time to respond getting different opinions really helps I guess i am still wishing hoping for thay mirical but in reality weather its me writing talking or someone else it really dosnt matter unless he is really serious and wants true recovery so witch brings to me the fact that i really need to work harder at my program thanks for the insight love tired
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Post by caressa on Oct 19, 2004 1:57:45 GMT -5
Hello my friend,
Well I too have a son in active addiction. He showed up last Friday at my apartment at 3:30 a.m. because the buses had stopped running and he was too drunk and too stoned to walk any further.
He knew that mom now has an empty couch and no boyfriend in her life anymore, so surprise! surprise! even though I now have my own place, I still like to come here!!!
He came home last Saturday to his place and his landlady said he was totally stoned although he wasn't drunk.
There was no remorse and very little guilt except for when he looked at his wallet and realized he had spent grocery money, didn't have enough money to get totally wasted at his baseball banquet on Saturday.
For doing supper dishes tonight after he arrived from work, it cost me the meal and two bus tickets. At least he has broke up with the girlfriend and he can't blame her and now he has to take responsibilit for himself.
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Post by poetprose on Nov 9, 2004 16:21:33 GMT -5
I can dig through my poetry bag , and see if I can find something that may help your son if you like?
My step son spent his years from 13 - 21 in and out of correctional facilities and i would send him some of my poetry
he said it helped him a great deal ...
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Post by Lin on Nov 10, 2004 3:43:42 GMT -5
I'm sure TIRED woudl love it! I for one woudl enjoy reading them. I love poetry....especially when it touches my heart in some way.
PLEASE DO post your poems.
LIN
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Post by poetprose on Nov 10, 2004 5:53:19 GMT -5
ok well they are not that good in terms of proffesional poetry, but writing has been my means of sanity while going through many crisis....
First this one is for "Moms" , my son was giving me attitude one day so i decided to "rap a rhyme" back at him, please do as you please with these poems if you find something here that touches you .. take it! they are mine and most of them are copy writed
"Hip Happen'n Mama"
I'm a hip happen'n mama
Need to take a moment to say
I've earned every grey hair
up this God given day!
I've been baken cookies
long before you could say school
So ya better watch your back child
Coz this mama ain't no Fool!
I'm not one for hollerin
See no need in complainen
But think it's time you look within
And do a little re-evaluaten
I know you think me the enemy
Don't see me as very cool
Like the day I caught you shooten hoops
When you should of been at school
You see I know the tricks of the trade
Cos I was a teen once two
And every excuse you give to me
Was just borrowed from me by you
You see I gotta bigger role
much bigger than you can now invision
Goes beyond the late nights
Telephone and television
So this is my own little rap
in honor of all wonderful mothers
If you got a problem with that
you can take it up with your father~
"Professional Laugher's Club"
When laughter is a friend of yours
You have found a true friend indeed
A healthy way to view lifes bloopers
And a little healing for dis-ease
So let the tears roll down your cheeks
As laughter possesses your every emotion
Holding your stomach gleefuly
giving it your true devotion
As a professional laugher
A master of the trade
You might be compared to solitare
Without the Ace of Spades
But pay them all no nevermind
And conintue to laugh all heartedly
Because it's only a matter of time
Other's will join you contageously~
"The Forgiving Hours of Dawn"
The dawn breaks constant
As a gently hush falls across the lands
Who can understand such simplicity
Unspoken blessings to the few
Fortunate enough to embrace the peace
The calming effect lingers throughout
Creation awakens the song of the birds
All is forgiven all is at peace
The dawn breaks constant
Unchanged
Yet often missed by the voice of humanity
To busy with life.....
Sowing Seeds
Sow a seed of faith
Awaken to a dream
Lay upon your bed of faith
And move a mountain
to carry out that dream
The hands of charity
will run to meet you
Together we will fullfil the dream
Thanking God for the seed sown in all
Love
The reason for every mans dream.
"Look Up- Not In"
Look up !Not In!
This day belongs to you
Embrace the world in wonderment
This day belongs to YOU!
Thanksgiving Song
There is peace in the soul
And a heart full of thanksgivng
Knowing Gods hand holds everything
Is the key to joyous living
Never take my share of blessings
already granted this very day
Seizing the moment and opportunity
In gratitude to say-
Thankyou Lord for all things
The sun the moon
the birth of spring
Thankyou Lord for my family and friends too
I hope our lives reflect the glory of you
Thankyou for this indwelling hope
reason for living and ability to cope
With any given circumstance
or grey cloud that may hover
Because I know in you
J'C's got me covered!
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Post by Lin on Nov 10, 2004 17:26:49 GMT -5
THANKS! These are awesome! I am a teacher...and i give you an A+ !!! Thanks for sharing!
LIN
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Post by poetprose on Nov 10, 2004 20:00:54 GMT -5
laugh! Thankyou I've never been given an A+ For anything in school you made my day.. Do'en Snoopy dances now  |
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Post by dg on Nov 10, 2004 21:49:22 GMT -5
Hi Poet, welcome to EOR!  I wanted to tell you that I enjoyed your writtings. When my husband was out about, with his drugging I used to dabbled at writting poems, and such, it is a good way to vent . Thanks for sharing. |
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Post by poetprose on Nov 11, 2004 6:45:02 GMT -5
Hi,
Did writing help you through your crisis as well?
what type of poetry do you write...
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Post by dg on Nov 11, 2004 11:41:57 GMT -5
It did help some with my pent up fusteration on the why mes syndrome, but between that and saying the serenity prayer really helped me alot during the earlier years. after a while I ended up getting writters block  . I know it will come back to me eventually tho, it always does. I do like to write as its a creative thing to have and I believe that everybody has it in them if they just let the pen flow on paper. Mostly write about emotions and life in general. |
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Post by tired on Nov 17, 2004 18:09:08 GMT -5
Dear Poet and EOR friends Iam sorry I didnt reply its been quite awhile since thier was a reply to that post I was pleasently surprised thank you for the beautiful pomes I enjoyed reading them love tired
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~With Peace & Love, dg~ 8*)[/b][/size]
. I know it will come back to me eventually tho, it always does. I do like to write as its a creative thing to have and I believe that everybody has it in them if they just let the pen flow on paper.
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.