Getting Out of Our Own Way

[caressa]

Getting Out Of Your Own Way

Each day in our lives, we hope and pray for a better day,
that things should improve in one area or another.
But all too often, all we do is hope and pray.
That is not enough --
We have to think, act and speak differently.
If we don't change how we think, speak and act,
we are bound to repeat the same problems or
mistakes that gives us a situation we want changed.

So how do we change things?

The hardest part of change is thinking differently.
You have to challenge your own assumptions,
including most delicately, the sense of who you are.
You may not be who you really think you are.

Never forget, we judge others by their actions,
but we judge ourselves by our intentions.
Yes, you meant to help someone with a project,
you intended to give charity, you were planning on
inviting your friends over for dinner, but if you didn't do it,
in their minds you had no intention, and you are judged
as such. So start correcting this error.

If you intend to do something - DO IT.
Don't procrastinate, don't delay.
Stop making excuses.
You want to improve yourself, get out of your own way.

Now find someone you completely trust,
who has your interest at heart
and who can give you constructive criticism.
It is often better for a friend to be this person
than a spouse.
And tell the person to try to remove personal bias
(of how you may have hurt them or been inconsiderate).
It has to be coming from a place of true concern for you.

Start with one area.
Don't take on your whole life at one time.
What you may realize is that you may not
be perceived the way you perceive yourself.
So work on correcting the in-balance -
and you will immediately feel more content and
balanced inside...

You that you can start changing your life for the better
by starting to Think, Act and Speak differently!

By: R. Barker

This is why I say the Third Step Prayer and follow it with the Seven Step Prayer.

Step Three: Many of us said to our Maker, as we understood Him: "God, I offer myself to Thee-to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do thy will always."

It has been my practice to add, "Thy will, not Mine, be done. Amen!"

Seventh Step Prayer: My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad. I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding. Amen.

From Big Book - p. 76

The difference between a demand and a simple request is plain to anyone. The Seventh Step is where we make the change in our attitude which permits us, with humility as our guide, to move out from ourselves toward others and toward God. The whole emphasis of Step Seven is on humility. It is really saying to us that we now ought to be willing to try humility in seeking the removal of our other shortcomings just as we did when we admitted that we were powerless over alcohol, and came to believe that a Power greater than ourselves could restore us to sanity. If that degree of humility could enable us to find the grace by which such a deadly obsession could be banished, then there must be hope of the same result respecting any other problem we could possibly have.

I need to get out of the way, so my God can work through me, instead of having to go around me.

[caressa]

Not sure about you, but I played many roles and loved those songs, and sang along and made believe they were me. Lived in a world of fantasy, and thought I was in control, which was an illusion and the reality was, I was in my own private hell.

I thought I knew everything. I am a leading authority on everything, just ask me. I was called Odd Job Jo(e), Gravy Jo, and I was always hearing, give it to Jo, she will do it. I thought it was because I was smart. It was because I didn't know how to say "No" get someone else to do it.

I had to change everything: All my preconceived ideas, thoughts, and notions. All my misconceptions, my perceptions, and I disagreeumptions had to be all reprogrammed through different eyes.

To do this, I had to get out of my own way, and to do that I went to meetings and I listened to people share at meetings. I listened to what they said, and I heard how other people lived their lives and how they thought. They gave me new insight into living clean and sober. They laid out a plan for living a new way of life, I just had to stay out of the way and let my Higher Power put these people in my life, to show me the way.

My sponsor told me, "You can learn two things at a meeting. How to work your program and how not to work your program." I know I repeat myself quite often, but it is true. Why say something different, when those are the words that worked for me 21 years ago and still work for me in today.

[caressa]

The easiest way for me to get out of my own way, is to pray and ask for help. Surrender in the moment, recognizing that I can't do it by myself. As the last line in the Serenity Prayer says, ...and the wisdom to know the difference.

I quit cigarettes because I wanted to be a clear channel. I had the thought, "I would rather have my God, work through me than having to move around me, over me, make exception for my actions, and I didn't want to do what I saw as 'tainting' the energy.

The cigarettes were harder to give up than the alcohol and pills. One of the reasons being that I didn't want to give them up, so I had to pray for the willingness to be willing to quit, and then asked for the courage, strength, direction I needed in order to live without them.

[majestyjo]

How time does go by. I still need to ask for help. I still need to get out of my way so my God can work through me instead of around me. I still live this program one day at a time.

[majestyjo]

Aalway goods to read and remind ourselves that we can be our own worst enemy.

[caressa222]

Amen. Being in the hospital I forgot codes and passwords. I ended up using the new email and now I am JoAnnr Orr Kitchen. i used my maiden name. One more identity.