Topic of the Week: How It Works

[caressa]

From "How It Works:"

"Our description of the alcoholic, the chapter to the agnostic, and our personal adventures before and after make clear three pertinent ideas:

(a) That we were alcoholic and could not manage our own lives.
(b) That probably no human power could have relieved our alcoholism.
(c) That God could and would if He were sought."


1976, Alcoholics Anonymous, page 60

This was posted on another site on: Feb 28, 2005, 1:11pm

The whole thing gives me goose bumps. One of my favorite parts in the BB to begins with. What I call the 1, 2, 3 Waltz. I can't, God can, and just for today, I choose to let Him.

It was also special to me, because it was posted at 1:11 p.m. To me that is a very spiritual connected time.

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Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves. There are such unfortunates. They are not at fault; they seem to have been born that way. They are naturally incapable of grasping and developing a manner of living which demands rigorous honesty. Their chances are less than average.

This is the part of How It Works I want to talk about today. So many people grasp onto this as an excuse for relapse. They don't even know the meaning of the word.

It means, knowing the truth, but doing it anyway, not caring. Sadly, it describes my son, more than anyone else I know. He was 25 when I came into treatment and he has been in treatment 5 times himself. He says to me, "Don't tell me Mom, I know." It is also a disease of perception. The only one to break through that is his God.

So many times we played games and tried to control our drinking. We changed brands, we mixed it with other things, like me who HATED beer, couldn't stand the smell or the taste, I added Coca-Cola too it and all it did was spoil the taste of my Cola, my first addiction.

I found this picture at Angelwinks today. When we something in a shape we recognize we don't like we say no, but if it had our drink of choice in there, how quickly we would change our tune.

When I broke with my husband, I knew I had to quit drinking because I couldn't afford to keep me in the style that I had become accustomed is what I said, but in reality, it was the fact that I just drank too much and didn't get enough to keep up my habit and didn't want to pay the price to keep it up. So I would go to darts or bridge, then go down to the bar, which gave just enough time to have two drinks before I went home for the night. I didn't recognize it as controlled drinking until I came into recovery. What you have to control, is already out of control.

The same thing was true with my pills, if I had taken my quota for the day of all my pills and maybe sneaked one or two more on the side, I would add Gravol to the mix, which I called my candy, to make everything work faster. There always had to be that something extra. Like the two extra 222s that I took with the last drink every night so I wouldn't wake up with a hang over. I don't ever remember if it worked. Didn't have too many hangovers. But then, I went to bed late when I was doing the heavy drinking, got up late, and went to the Legion. How can a girl tell. When I lived with my Dad, it was always there.

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RARELY HAVE we seen a person fail who has thoroughly followed our path. Those who do not recover are people who cannot or will not completely give themselves to this simple program, usually men and women who are constitutionally incapable of being honest with themselves.

eor.proboards.com/index.cgi?action=display&board=AA&thread=13367

Many people say the program didn't work for the program, but they were unwilling to work for the program. They were unwilling to be honest, open-minded, and willing to do what ever it took, to make the program work in their lives. They were unable to accept their disease or that of others, they were unwilling to work on themselves, always looking at the other person. I am lucky I found the doors of recovery, because I kept comparing myself to my dad and my ex-husband, didn't want to wear a label that I put on them. I compared instead of identifying and stayed sick.

Work the Steps, clean house, let go of the past, heal in today, and live in today and have hope for a better tomorrow.

As they say, we can plan, but don't plan the outcome. We can look at our past, but don't carry the burdens into today, leave them there, learn from them, and move on.

The Steps are the key. Someone asks me what Step I am on in today, it varies, but there are some days, that I need ALL 12.

May you have a good day, and an even better tomorrow. Life doesn't change we do. We are given the tools to handle life on life's terms, one day at a time.

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Many of us exclaimed, "What an order! I can't go through with it." Do not be discouraged. No one among us has been able to maintain anything like perfect adherence to these principles. We are not saints. The point is, that we were willing to grow along spiritual lines. The principles we have set down are guides to progress. We claim spiritual progress rather than spiritual perfection.

Remember when I came into recovery, when I heard the words, we are not saints, I use to say to myself, "Speak for yourself." Not very spiritual, all about me, with no thought of others, or I looked down on someone who didn't think like I did and do what I KNEW to be right.

Thank God it is progress not perfection. All my life I was raised to believe if it wasn't perfect, it wasn't good enough, and neither was I for doing something less than. Not only the expectation put on me by others, but the ones I put on myself, were just not feasible and most times the goals were unreachable. I was a mistake, I was a less than, I was an excuse for a human being, and how could God love me when I didn't like me, and was so far from perfect. Angel and saint I will never be, yet there came a time in my recovery when I was told, "Oh, you are that Spiritual lady."

It is good to know that I can make a mistake and it doesn't mean I am one. I can do less than perfect, I can just try to be the best me I can be in today. Some days I fall short of what I think my God wants me to be in today, and that is why there are Steps 6 and 7, to follow Steps 4 and 5.

Practice the principles in all our affairs. Take my recovery out of the rooms and apply them to my home life and in the community.

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Principles of the Twelve Steps
1. Honesty2. Hope3. Faith4. Courage5. Integrity6. Willingness7. Humility8. Brotherly Love9. Self Discipline10. Perseverance11. Ever Presence of God12. Service to Fellowman,
Principles of the Twelve Traditions
1. Unity2. Direction3. Recovery4. Understanding5. Sharing6. Simplicity7. Independence8. Selflessness9. Service10. Survival11. Self Reliance12. Humility
Principles of the Twelve Concepts
1. Responsibility2. Reliance3. Trust4. Participation5. Democracy6. Accountability7. Balance8. Consistency9. Vision10. Clarity11. Respect12. Spirituality

It always amazes me how people with long time recovery don't even know what principles of the program are. It came to me a few years into my recovery that I had never heard anyone share on what they were to them and about applying them to their lives.. When I did ask, I mostly heard the same fairly basic things, but a lot of people had their own concept.
i.e. Surrender, honesty, acceptance, open-mindedness, willingness, courage, strength, love, forgiveness, integrity, and compassion to name just a few. I had a list that my sponsor and I compiled but I have seemed to have lost it.

I like the Al-Anon way of saying principles above personalities instead of the AA way of saying principles before personalities.

Principles of recovery are above any person, situation or occasion. God doesn't ask us to lower ourselves, He wants us to walk tall in our truth and share with others what we have learned.
__________________

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Remember that we deal with alcohol - cunning, baffling, powerful! Without help it is too much for us. But there is One who has all power - that One is God. May you find him now.

Half measures availed us nothing. We stood at the turning point. We asked His protection and care with complete abandon.


Sometimes we forget how dangerous this disease really is, and it isn't just about the drinking and drugging, it is about the thinking that goes with it. It is a family disease, and when I stole my first glass of communion wine I was 10. I was to ever remember the feeling when it hit bottom and searched for that feeling. It is a progressive disease, and it kept taking more to reach it, and then it got to a stage where I found it, and couldn't stop there, I had to have more.

I can't forget it is a family disease. I only saw my father drunk twice growing up, once at 8 and another time at 14, until my mother passed away, and she was no longer there to say no to alcohol being in our home. He went out to get it, but we didn't see alcohol in our home. My sister and I were playing in the basement and we found a case of 12, covered in dust and cob webs and my sister said, "Oh look, this must be daddy's pop." We did not know. We didn't have a TV until I was 10 years old, so my informative years were very uninformed.

What I didn't know was that when I didn't have my drug of choice, I reached for other things: pills, men, food, work, etc. I didn't think I was lovable, unless I had someone in my life to tell me or show me that I was loved. Didn't think I could ever be alone, couldn't even stand to have quiet in the room with no TV or music.

Threw the Steps and my God, who showed me how to fill up with spiritual things, when I go within and build a relationship with my God, instead of looking outside of myself for some thing or some one to make me feel better.

I am responsible for my own happiness. No more playing the blame game. The program is about change, what I did in early recovery is the past, it is what I do in today that matters.

This picture will change daily.

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Love today's angels. In the past, I wouldn't have given them a thought, even if I had seen them.

I know the program works because I can see it working in mine. I got my faith by seeing it in others, doing what I hadn't been able to do, even though I tried for 8 years. I could stop, but I couldn't stay stopped, if I didn't pick up my pills or alcohol, I reached for other things like men, food, computer, work, shopping, etc.

The program works if I work for it. It is a one day at a time program. I need the program just as much in today as when I walked through the doors 21 years ago.

[caressa]

The program works if I work the Steps and I work for the program. If you don't do the do things, you can't expect it to work for you. It is a suggested program, steps that are suggested, and suggested that you do them in order, but if you don't follow the suggestions, there is a good chance you won't grow in recovery or stay clean and sober. Even if we don't use our drug of choice, we may find ourselves reaching for other things to fill up the voice, especially if we are not feeding ourselves with food for the body, mind, and spirit.

The Twelve Steps are applicable to all parts of my life.