Trust

[caressa]

Today I will feel my anger, express it when necessary, and then let it go so that I can deepen my trust of other people and of God. - In God's Care

Trust was something I was discussing with my sponsor today. I realize that I can still erect walls, due to lack of trust, mainly due to anger issues from my past that have yet to be healed. I also know that often, it isn't my stuff but protection from other people's anger and issues which they aren't ready to deal with and often project onto me. This is especially truly with my son who is still using. His defense, is offence and often offensive because he doesn't have program. Often an unwillingness to look at the origin source of anger and results in being stuck in the past with an inability to let go and live in today. Often it is a projection if fear and inability to look into the future, with any kind of hope that things will get better and be different.

When I trust in my Higher Power, take my HP with me, I don't have to relive my past, I don't have to take my past mistakes and insecurities with me, but I can walk with faith and hope. Trust is what allows me to take risks and move on to a new freedom in recovery.

[lildee]

Trust......

Once I trusted and that trust was shattered,
By an active addict, consumed with a disease
I began to trust again... cautiously if you please.

Repeatedly that tiny amount of trust was shattered
....Not that it mattered.
There was none left
My trust was bereft.

Just as his supply of dope was about to end
For the addict he went to his dealer
For another dose of truth and courage,
To set him on the mend.

For me the codependent
There was no numbing my reality.
I learned to accept the world I was in,
With the greatest gravity.
And put my trust into a Higher Power.

My trust was not lost
In time or space,
Just out of sorts
And merely displaced.

[Lin]

TRUST is a great topic...especially her in the naranon section. I've lived with an active alcoholic who changed his addictions for a few years to pills. So I "qualify" for this section of the boards.

TRUST can be shattered. Just when we start to feel comfortable and enjoying the peace that recovery and sobriety bring...WHAM. SURPRISE! (and not a pleasant surprise either)

It takes time to rebuild trust. It takes prayer. It takes lots of good days from the addict and lots of understandintg and patience from the loved one.

As a child I trusted my parents to give me encouragement and support. But they were active alcoholics and rarely gave me such things. My trust was shattered. I rememberd how encouraging and loving my 2nd grade teacher was to me. It was the first adult who told me how proud of me she was. ANd I made the mistake of telling my mother that Mrs. B was nicer than her and I wish she was my mom. It took over 20 years for me to quit hearing that one thrown up into my face.

I also had to learn to trust myself and my higher power. Then and only then was I able to begin to trust people in my life who had proven they were not to be trusted.

LIN

[caressa]

Learned that the program worked, it worked for others, so I had to trust it would work for me.

[BW]

The BB tells us "Trust God and clean house"...it does not tell us to trust every one
what I have learned from expereince is that when I trust God God will lead me to those individuals with whom I can trust

the word "discretion" is used in the book...
and I have learned it is extremely important to use a great deal of discretion when placing my trust in individuals and listening to my inner guidance

[caressa]

^
Thanks for sharing. I learned a long time ago, just become someone is at a meeting and belongs to the fellowship, doesn't mean he or she is trustworthy. I am pretty trusting until someone gives me reason to not trust. My son is hurt sometimes that I don't always trust him, but he has given me reasons not to trust many times over.

I also believe I am lead to certain people to learn a lesson, and as the saying goes, sometimes they are there for a reason, a season, or a lifetime.

For me, a lot of people reflect me in my disease, so though I might not trust them, I know where they are coming from.