Whats the right thing to do?

[dg]

Hi folks,
I haven't posted in here in a long time. I have a question for those that might be able to give me their point of view. Altho I have my own idea on how I would deal with this, but wanted to see how others would answer the ?? here goes:
My sister is in prison for another 3 years, she is a heroin user, has been for over 20 years. She had a relaspe in prison and has been getting money from my step mom to pay her debuts. With letters saying she wouild get her "ass" kicked if she don't pay up. She has a pace maker and is not well physically, yet she still uses.
My learning from Naranon is not to enable and learn to detatch with love, and trying to pass this on to my step mom, and her fear of her daughter getting beat up overtakes her heart to not send her money to pay her debuts.
What is the best way to deal with this situation from someone that is from prison? I guess its a little harder dealing with someone from the inside than form someone from whos say out in the streets, or from home.

[stickmonkey]

i would do alot of praying.
pray for the situation for both,your mother and your sister.
pray for them both to learn all they can from this situation.almost like a resentment prayer,because it seems to be eating a hole in your serenity.
give it a try
love ya

[carolsongs]

first thing that came to mind is, they have na in jail and im sure support there too, i think the fighting should be treated seperatly,it sounds like shes pulling at your step moms heart strings combining the two,we learn to use tough love, having the courage to say no ,is love ,and teaches them how to say no,any moms heart would be broken, having a daughter in jail, but the daughter should be expected to do good time so she can get out earlier,being back on heroin can only block her reasoning to do that good time, i would join tough love, they can really help you guys,hope this helps carolsongs

[dg]

Thanks stickmonkey and carolsongs,
I just got a phone call about 5 mins ago from my step mom crying, my sister just called her asking for more money on top of what she orginally asked for. I told her pretty much the same thing u both said, pray for her, and pray hard. She is so worried that she is going to be beaten up if she don't hand over the money, she knows full well that she is only enabling her daughter, but it still a scary thought of her being all beaten up. I feel so powerless to be able to help my step mom from the hurt.

[carolsongs]

maybe your step mom can speak to her councelor or maybe clergy at the jail, there has to be another way around this,tyour sister is the only one who could straighten out who ever is threatening her, if she talks to clergy she can explain she needs help,my take on this is if someones threatening her for money, and she gives them money, it wont stop there,it really sounds like i need money for drugs ploy, ill pray for you and your mom and your sister, this is one for the one who has All the power, mighty lord to the rescue. carolsongs

[MrDuck]

Sorry to hear about your sister. You know it is easy to say what someone should do. Or better do. Or has to do. But some of the best advice I ever heard came from a guy that had a relase and was drunk at a meeting. The old timer of the group was going on and on about slips. The drunk looked at him and asked him, " Hey mister you ever had a relapse?" As proude as could be the old timer said, " NOPE." And the drunk looked at him and said, " Well than keep your F,, n mouth shout than mister as you don't know what the hell your talking about." It is easy to say what one should do. But you know what. I only have to live with what I do. Like everyone else in the world I have an opinion on what your mother should do. But what I really think she should do is what ever it is can live with.

Take care and God bless.

Ron

[dg]

Thanks guys for the heads up.
It has been a back and forth roller coaster ride with my step mom and sister. She did say no to her daughter and she has been pleading with her since then. So, I don't know if she gave in yet or not.
She has to keep setting boundries with her for her own sanity. And of course lots of prayers.