Letting Go of Fear

[caressa]

Letting Go of Fear

Fear is at the core of codependency. It can motivate us to control situations or neglect ourselves.

Many of us have been afraid for so long that we don't label our feelings fear. We're used to feeling upset and anxious. It feels normal.

Peace and serenity may be uncomfortable.

At one time, fear may have been appropriate and useful. We may have relied on fear to protect ourselves, much the way soldiers in a war rely on fear to help them survive. But now, in recovery, we're living life differently.

It's time to thank our old fears for helping us survive, then wave good bye to them. Welcome peace, trust, acceptance, and safety. We don't need that much fear anymore. We can listen to our healthy fears, and let go of the rest.

We can create a feeling of safety for ourselves, now. We are safe, now. We've made a commitment to take care of ourselves. We can trust and love ourselves.

God, help me let go of my need to be afraid. Replace it with a need to be at peace. Help me listen to my healthy fears and relinquish the rest.

From: Messages of Recovery (Discussion Forum)

www.Open-Mind.org/cgi-bin/bbs/YaBB.cgi

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This spoke to me because I am not sure if my son is using. He has stopped going to meetings. He has a new girlfriend, so I know that she is an old pattern for him. Fear of the unknown has been a big issue with me. I have been focusing on letting it all go and trying to get into a place of "I don't care." "It is none of my business what he decides to do with his life."

I was sharing with my spiritual advisor the night before last. Detachment and letting go doesn't mean I don't love, I think that is my biggest fear of all.

[caressa]

After seeing the two surgeons and starting to do physiotherapy, what was left of my fear has almost gone. Before I was told there was no cancer, but when I saw the surgeon he said there was a 2% chance. There was some fear attached to that but when he examined me he couldn't feel the lump and said that I have to have another ultra sound done in three months. I had a healing session with two friends and hopefully, the cyst is no longer there.

Although I fear travelling in ice and snow with my walker, I look forward to seeing if the therapy will work. At least I can do the exercises they gave me at home when the weather is bad. My Al-Anon sponsor has offered to drive me when needed. Mind you, she doesn't do mornings well. My sleeping patterns have changed and I have been doing morning, not liking it, but I am getting there.

Thank goodness you don't have to like it in order to accept it.

[majestyjo]

Have trouble accepting that my son may choose to carry the message, "To use is to die." Today he said he didn't care about himself. How can you help someone when they aren't willing to help themselves.

The sad thing is, "I have gotten myself into that I don't care mode myself, so he is carrying the message to me and I need to make some changes." I need to thank him for carrying the message to me, instead of walking in fear of his attitude and choices. I must continue to pray for him, he is 49, the same age that I went into treatment.

[majestyjo]

S good to read this and know my
this prigram.sonn is 7 months and 4 days clean and sober. AHe is 53. Mother is very grateful for this program.