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Post by Lin on Jun 12, 2013 12:47:20 GMT -5
How do you achieve balance in your life?
I put this question here because I welcome comments from everybody...not just alanons.
I find that balance is not so easy to achieve in a world that is filled with chaos. I do find it easier now that I am not working. That just brought in another aspect of the chaos.
I try to divide my life into parts....spiritual, mental stimulation, fun, family things, and just for ME. If one part gets too full it's like a washer full of towels when all the towels get to one side. It thumps and bumps and rattles and shakes. I feel the same way if I let one part of my puzzle get too large and another get too small.
How do YOU achieve balance??? LIN
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Post by hereweare on Jun 12, 2013 21:48:24 GMT -5
Life is like a seesaw, if there is too much weight on one side it is out of balance. If our thoughts are full of resentment and judgement, that will cause an unbalance in our natures. Louise
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Post by BW on Jun 13, 2013 0:00:08 GMT -5
first and foremost...Staying or keeping God centered
Remembering that "the spiritual life is not a theory we have to live it" as the Big Book states it so clearly.. Those spiritual principles include humor, not taking things so personally, including humor in our lives,living in the now, first things first, etc, etc.
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Post by SunnyGirl on Jun 13, 2013 17:10:44 GMT -5
We need a balanced diet to stay healthy and for life it's much the same....
When I find myself getting out of balance, I need to check my schedule and make sure I am getting plenty of spiritual time with God. My inner voice will let me know and I need to be willing to listen. When I start taking myself to seriously, this is when I get in trouble.... yep, that's when having a sense of humor really helps.....
Good stuff ladies.... hugs, SG
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Post by Lin on Jun 14, 2013 11:03:07 GMT -5
thanks Sg. I totally agree. The spiritual balance makes a lot of difference in my serenity. Louise...loved the seesaw reminder. I am a visual learner and this is easy to remember. BW...like SG..we all thre note the spiritual and God part of our balance are highly important. Thanks for the replies! LIN
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Post by BW on Jun 14, 2013 23:41:13 GMT -5
Had an expereince I can share as an example here...
Someone woke me up by pounding on my door one morning at 4 am...which is ok...I've given sponcees permission to do so and have told them I'd rather they do that than relapse and tell me after the fact...then I missed a call from my mother and my sister
then I forgot to eat breakfast, got distracted and busy and didn't eat lunch. A gal asked me to take her to a doctor's appointment and had said she would walk back but when we got there said she would call for me to come back to pick her up.
I got short tempered with her 'cuz that was not the agreement. ...As I sat there waiting for her I did what the book says.."the spot check inventory" and asked myself why I allowed her to push my buttons
It was DUH...Big Red TRUCK...I was in total violation of HALT
I was Hungry Angry Lonley Tired
All the things that put me out of BALANCE...spiritual balance can upset the emotional and physical balance and visa versa
Can't give away something we don't have...that day I had spread myself way too thin and did not take care of me first in order to have it to give it away
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Post by Lin on Jun 24, 2013 17:39:26 GMT -5
Perfect example BW. Thanks!
LIN
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Post by BW on Jun 25, 2013 13:35:45 GMT -5
Found this in one of my journals and thought of this post.....
Boundaries and Balance
We hear talk about learning balance and the importance of establishing healthy boundaries. The following story from the book: YOU MAY LOSE YOUR BALANCE BUT YOU CAN FALL INTO GRACE …FINDING SPIRITUAL RENEWAL IN LIFE’S QUIRKY MOMENTS…By Angela Payne, gives an excellent illustration of the reason why these are so essential in our healing process.
NO TRESPASSSING
“Love one another with brotherly affection [as members of one family], giving precedence and showing honor to one another.” ~ Romans 12:10
While walking one evening in my neighborhood, I paused at a picket fence surrounding the backyard of a nearby home. Although I had driven or walked past the yard countless times, I had looked but never seen it as I did that night. The picket fence was an aesthetic addition to this home. However, it also served a purpose-keeping intruders out in a pleasant, cordial sort of way. The fence contained within its borders things that were precious to this family, such as children and pets, an herb garden, and carefully tended flower beds.
The following days, I observed the yard surrounded by the fence a little more carefully. My time of reflection was much more than the studying of architecture. It’s as if there was an imaginary welcome sign over the arched door that said, “Angela, you are invited to pause, see, and listen.”
What I have been learning since that night is a principle in relationships that has been invaluable-the importance of emotional boundaries. I’m not speaking of a fortress that is intimidating and impenetrable, but rather a means pf protecting the treasures of one’s life.
The impression of a picket fence is one that appeals to me. Through it, one can catch glimpses of the beauty beyond. It is inviting and pleasant. However, this particular door that enters into the garden is made to be opened from the inside. Thus, you must be invited to come in.
For a number of years, I have been very open about issues of my heart and life, sometimes revealing things that were very precious to me. And at times I have allowed people into my backyard, so to speak, who did not always love or cherish the things that were planted there. Some have watered the young and tender life that was growing. Others have appreciated the more maturing plants while encouraging the painful pruning process that results in more prolific growth. Some, with kindness and compassion, have pointed to weeds that I did not see. If I needed their assistance, they have helped me pull and tend to the unwanted growth.
There have been some visitors in my garden who have not walked as carefully as others. They have stomped on some of the germinating plants, from carelessness or because they could not appreciate their unique beauty. Perhaps they have even tried to wrench them from the earth because they thought they did not belong in my garden. They did not regard them as meaningful to me. Some have even so bold as to attempt to transplant cuttings from their garden that they thought I needed. Their lack of respect for theses tender plants has often caused bruising in the process.
Each of us has places in our heart and emotions that are sacred. These hallowed places are not to be exposed and opened to just anyone. They are to be guarded and protected for the treasure and value that lies therein. The picket fence was a gentle reminder that I am the keeper of my garden, and I am to tend it carefully.
The elements of nature are sometimes destructive to a natural garden. A wise gardener will do all that is possible to protect the plants, especially the young and vulnerable ones. Elements in the human nature can wreck havoc on the garden of our hearts. I’m speaking of the dreams and ideas that God has scattered within the dark and quiet places of our hearts.
Detrimental forces come in various shapes and sizes…friends and family. People that you love. Just as the very elements of nature can be destructive, so can the individuals who attempt to wrench away your dreams. They trample cherished hopes and longings, even with good intentions. In this process they will damage the very root system, thus causing dreams to wilt and ultimately die.
What is our responsibility in tending our garden? It takes courage to say “no” to everyone who wants to tromp into your yard without regard or respect for the unique beauty that lies therein. If you are like me, and have at times been too inviting and welcoming to the voices and opinions of the countless “well meaning ones,” the transition can be unfamiliar and uncomfortable for you and for your visitors. Some are accustomed to waltzing freely into your yard, regardless of an invitation. Initially, they might bump their noses against the fence, thus rattling it and demanding to come in. But as you learn to keep them at a proper distance, you 2ill find that it becomes more familiar and comfortable terrain. You can smile at them from behind the fence and even lean over it while having a pleasant conversation. But you are ever mindful that you have a cordial but firm barrier between you and the destructive elements of personality and opinions. You are not required to invite them in and would be wise not to do so.
I am completely astounded at he questions that people will ask me that could very appropriately be answered, “It is none of your business.” At times I have wanted to be just as inappropriate and ask, “How many times a week do you have sex?” Fortunately, His grace has restored me.
The following prayer is one that I read at a time when I had experienced the pain and confusion that comes from listening to too many voices. I pray this as a reminder to follow God’s voice first and above all others.
To listen to what it is that makes my heart glad And to follow where it leads. May joy, not guilt, Your voice and not the voice of others, Your will, not my willfulness, Be the guides that lead me to my vocation. Help me to unearth the passions of my heart That lay buried in my youth. And help me to go over that ground again and again Until I can hold in my hands, Hold and treasure, Your calling on my life. ~ Ken Gire, in his book Windows of the Soul __________________
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Post by SunnyGirl on Jul 6, 2013 14:26:18 GMT -5
BW.... I'm not sure how I missed this, it was a wonderful read. Loved the prayer:
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Post by majestyjo on Dec 15, 2014 3:50:50 GMT -5
Balance was always difficult for me. It was first and foremost, remembering that my disease was mental, emotional, spiritual and physical.
It was remembering that I had to stop robbing Peter to pay Paul, and I had to get honest. Not just cash register honest, but find self-honesty.
I like to think of it as fun, food, and frolic in my life, no longer being all work and no play, and when I find myself there, I know that my life is out of balance.
Someone said, "Treat yourself," and I found myself spoiling myself rotten, so it is about finding that balance. I like to think of it as not all black and white, but finding that life is sometimes about finding shades of gray. Not doom and gloom, but colours that are not as dark as they use to be, things that pale in comparison, and things that are brighter than they use to be.
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Post by caressa222 on Feb 22, 2020 17:58:09 GMT -5
Balance reminds me of the pie that I need to divide into my daily life. While I am dividing things up, I must remember that it must be a mental, emotional, spiritual and physical division.
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