forgiveness

[Lin]

I read something Louise posted recently and it reminded me of this topic. Forgiveness.

It took me a very long time to forgive my parents for my childhood. One day I was reading in an alanon book it made the analogy of you cant buy bread in a hardware store. it was like a lightbulb moment. I then realized they did the ebst they could. Both of them had dysfunctional homes growning up. I learned to forgive by remembering the good things they did...I thought long and hard but I remind myself they bought me a car with I turned 16 and they sent me to college. So those two things are what I bring to the front of my mind when I want to go back to not encouraging me, putting me down, etc. How important is it? At the time it felt very important. But looking back at lease I never worried about going hungry or having a roof over my head or a bed to sleep in either.

I wish I had learned to forgive before they passed away. I didn't find alanon and acoa until after both of them were gone.

Finding forgiveness gave me some peace. It helped me be happier in today.

How have you found forgiveness?

LIN

[BW]

How have you found forgiveness?

I found forgiveness after much contemplation and prayer and realizing the separation of deed, act, or behavior and the person

That is to say behaviors can be unforgiveable but the person is both loveable and forgiveable.

I also came to realize that forgiveness is a gift i can give to myself.
Hanging on to the hurts or resentments blocked me from the Sunlight of the Spirit...It did nothing to the other individual. It only stunted my spiritual growth

[Cherie]

Every one makes mistakes, even parents, we are
all humans and that makes us fallible! My father
had already passed away before I forgave him.
Today, I can see some of him in myself, but I am
much quicker to ask for forgiveness and admit my
mistakes.

I'm finding it much easier to forgive others than it
is to forgive myself. The only way I know how too
is to ask God to forgive me and make a new effort to
change my actions or lack there of. Without change
it's almost impossible..... today I am happier than ever
because of my renewed relationship with God and 12-step
recovery.

Peace on the journey

[Lin]

Thanks SG for the reply. I always love your insight.

LIN

[Lin]

Thanks also to BW. So good to have you back with us!

LIN

[BW]

There is an awesome wonderful delightful promise in the Big Book right at the very end of the chapter "WE AGNOSTICS" that addresses this and would fit to almost any other issue we might be having

It says..."When we drew near to Him He disclosed Himself to us!"

How awesome is that!!!!!!!!!!!?