taking things personally

[Lin]

I probably posted on this before but it still creeps up on me a lot. I take things very personally. I try using the QTIP to remind me to Quit Taking It Personally.

I have a thing I call trace it
Face it
Erase it

I tried to use it to see if I could pinpoint a reason I take things personally. All I can deduct is how often my parents told me something was my fault. I am sure most of those things were not my fault but if you her it often enough and from people in charge like parents, you start to believe it.

I don't want to blame others to CMA when I am taking on something, but I have to find a way to FACE IT. My compromise is to try to see what part I have in it, if any and take on only that part. It's a compromise but for now it may help.

Any suggestions or experience on taking things personally?

LIN

[SunnyGirl]

Lin,

When I find that I am brooding about what I think someone may be thinking
or feeling about me, I have to remind myself to let go of the thoughts.
Detaching myself from what others might think of me is key.......
Happiness is an inside job and for me to be truly happy, I just need to please God.
I let go of the negative thoughts and believe that my friends and loved ones love
me warts and all.... works for me! SG

[BW]

I think many of us have tendency to do take things personally. One of the things that has helped me more than anything else is 2 books I read just recently titled "THE FOUR AGREEMENTS" and the companion book. The author of these is Don Miguel Ruiz. He addresses this issue extremely well and in fact it is one of the agreements.

Prior to reading these books what helped me was what is in the Big Book "discard our old ideas" which means to me to surrender those old tapes. Yes, I know that is not an easy task...some of them are so ingrained. But remember with God all things are possible. I am the one that makes things hard. I'm the one that puts up the road blocks, the obstacles and negative critical thinking...I am the one that tries to take back over and drive and ends up in the ditch. Thank God He allows U-Turns and permits me to try again and again. I so wish I had the patience with myself that He has with me .

This journey of recovery is all about practice work and action...It ain't about perfection...So we need to keep on keepin on and learn as we go along, wouldn't you say. the more we learn the more we can flutter

[Lin]

Thanks Ladies...Good reminders and tips. The one I was doing this week was thinking because a lady did not answer any of my emails she was mad at me. Seems she was grocery shopping, cooking and had a long afternoon at a doctor's office. Nothing at all to do with me.

I think I need to also remember the wise words of Morey...AKA turtle lady who used to come here. (iowama) "What others think of me is none of my f'n business."

I think it is the people pleasing issue in me that wants everybody to like me.

Happy Sunday!
LIN

[majestyjo]

This is always a good one Lin. I use your QTIP, quite often, thank you for sharing it with me. It has helped a lot of people.

One thing I did notice was that a lot of it was all in my own mind and my ego and self-centered way of thinking. This was brought home to me when I had the meetings Freedom of Recovery. There was a young guy who came who had very long hair. He always had it in a pony tail. After meeting one morning, he came to me quite dejected and said, "They never noticed! I got my hair cut." I am sorry, I never noticed either. You always wear it in a pony tail, and I didn't realize it was shorter. The next day he came and wore his hair down.

Every body is worried about how you think about them to worry about how you look. Is my pimple showing? Did I get the spot out of my blouse? Did I get all the pet hair off of my slacks? Our mind can be so caught up in self, and then when you add someone else's cast offs, we can surely over burden our mind into a whirl-wind of worry and stress, that shouldn't be there in the first place. I think it is called being human. Personally, I never did like it, but nothing I can do about it, sometimes I think I am part alien.

[majestyjo]

Hmmmmm... Better at descerning this in today