Post by BW on Jan 4, 2014 16:01:09 GMT -5
Powerlessness, helplessness, defeat...all very familiar words in recovery...then we hear the importance of service and putting our gratitude into ACTION.
What about those times when we hear a person struggling with an incurable illness or in an impossible abusive situation, a fatal train wreck, a head on collision with numerous casualties?
Yes the first reaction might be for some to just say.."How tragic." and they move on.
Prior to recovery I facilitated between denial and thinking it had no effect on me and the far other extreme of giving away the shirt on my back that I didn't have and really couldn't afford to give. I also became angry with God saying, thinking all those things I had heard about Him and His love and grace couldn't be true to allow this much tragedy to occur.
Another instance is the situations today when life is handing out lemons and I'm feeling overwhelmed. The clerk is rude, drivers are cutting me off, children running out in the road, the kids won't listen to me, the washer broke down, I had to wait 2 hours for my doctor's appointment, I had a flat tire and it made me late for work and the boss yelled at me and the list went on and on and the blood pressure went up and my migraine got worse and I couldn't eat lunch because of it and now I'm not only lonely because the husband's out of town but I'm also angry and I'm bone tired from the stress and I still have to fix dinner for these screaming wild banchee children.
Or maybe it was a friend or a sister going thru all this ...
I had not once prior to recovery, given the thought to the real solution that I have found on this journey of recovery of asking the simple question..."WHAT CAN I DO?"
Do we try to get in there with our opinions and beliefs and try to FIX it all and make it all better?
Once in a while there are things we can do...Sometimes we can't...What I've found is that feeling of helplessness creeps in during those "can't" times...but it does not have to remain because there are things I can do to kick helplessness out the door
One of the most precious things this recovery journey has given me is prayer. A God of my understanding that is my EVERYTHING. I can take anyone and everything to HIM and helplessness, worry, concern doesn't just walk out the door..it scurries and runs like the wind.
The other thing I am still trying to learn...[this one is a bit slower in coming] is the gift of listening...that sister, that friend or even myself...taking a calm breath, zipping my lip and being still to just listen.
So often I myself am so guilty of that selective hearing and listening only to a phrase or word when someone speaks to me...and my head runs in many directions... Today I am practicing to respect and to honor the person by actively and attentively listening.
But it doesn't stop there...there is another step...in the Big Book in the 24 hour plan
[yep all we have is one day at a time and therefore I get to attempt to practice that 24 hour plan in ALL my affairs] in that plan it says "Pause and ask for the next thought, word or action...". My understanding of that is that in that pause I can ask God to speak thru me...that is of course if anything need be said. Sometimes a hug is all that is needed for that person that hit a ruff patch. It goes tho and says..."We relax...we don't struggle..." For me that means I reach into my spiritual tool box and pull out faith and trust.
Not too long ago a woman was sharing a situation to me that she was going thru .. That familiar helplessness came in...I utilized what I am explaining here and when I heard her say.."I feel so lost." the words that came out of my mouth even surprised me ...I heard myself saying.."Oh hon, you are not lost...God knows exactly where you are."
I wish I could show you a pic of the transformation that came over her as those words obviously sunk into her heart and the room itself brightened with her smile as it lit up her face and reached her eyes.
Please share with us your thoughts and experiences on ..."WHAT CAN I DO?"
The
What about those times when we hear a person struggling with an incurable illness or in an impossible abusive situation, a fatal train wreck, a head on collision with numerous casualties?
Yes the first reaction might be for some to just say.."How tragic." and they move on.
Prior to recovery I facilitated between denial and thinking it had no effect on me and the far other extreme of giving away the shirt on my back that I didn't have and really couldn't afford to give. I also became angry with God saying, thinking all those things I had heard about Him and His love and grace couldn't be true to allow this much tragedy to occur.
Another instance is the situations today when life is handing out lemons and I'm feeling overwhelmed. The clerk is rude, drivers are cutting me off, children running out in the road, the kids won't listen to me, the washer broke down, I had to wait 2 hours for my doctor's appointment, I had a flat tire and it made me late for work and the boss yelled at me and the list went on and on and the blood pressure went up and my migraine got worse and I couldn't eat lunch because of it and now I'm not only lonely because the husband's out of town but I'm also angry and I'm bone tired from the stress and I still have to fix dinner for these screaming wild banchee children.
Or maybe it was a friend or a sister going thru all this ...
I had not once prior to recovery, given the thought to the real solution that I have found on this journey of recovery of asking the simple question..."WHAT CAN I DO?"
Do we try to get in there with our opinions and beliefs and try to FIX it all and make it all better?
Once in a while there are things we can do...Sometimes we can't...What I've found is that feeling of helplessness creeps in during those "can't" times...but it does not have to remain because there are things I can do to kick helplessness out the door
One of the most precious things this recovery journey has given me is prayer. A God of my understanding that is my EVERYTHING. I can take anyone and everything to HIM and helplessness, worry, concern doesn't just walk out the door..it scurries and runs like the wind.
The other thing I am still trying to learn...[this one is a bit slower in coming] is the gift of listening...that sister, that friend or even myself...taking a calm breath, zipping my lip and being still to just listen.
So often I myself am so guilty of that selective hearing and listening only to a phrase or word when someone speaks to me...and my head runs in many directions... Today I am practicing to respect and to honor the person by actively and attentively listening.
But it doesn't stop there...there is another step...in the Big Book in the 24 hour plan
[yep all we have is one day at a time and therefore I get to attempt to practice that 24 hour plan in ALL my affairs] in that plan it says "Pause and ask for the next thought, word or action...". My understanding of that is that in that pause I can ask God to speak thru me...that is of course if anything need be said. Sometimes a hug is all that is needed for that person that hit a ruff patch. It goes tho and says..."We relax...we don't struggle..." For me that means I reach into my spiritual tool box and pull out faith and trust.
Not too long ago a woman was sharing a situation to me that she was going thru .. That familiar helplessness came in...I utilized what I am explaining here and when I heard her say.."I feel so lost." the words that came out of my mouth even surprised me ...I heard myself saying.."Oh hon, you are not lost...God knows exactly where you are."
I wish I could show you a pic of the transformation that came over her as those words obviously sunk into her heart and the room itself brightened with her smile as it lit up her face and reached her eyes.
Please share with us your thoughts and experiences on ..."WHAT CAN I DO?"
The
why didn't I think of that!
..That is to visualize, imagine placing that person on God's shoulders.. Then I get to curl up in His lap and ask for rest, or comfort or whatever I need to...Afterall it is sometimes a bit draining emotionally, spiritually, and physically to watch someone in pain...So I have a place to go to replenish my spirit too...
While laying there on His lap...I do not get to peek up His sleeve to see what His plans are; to give him "HOW TO" instructions or even a time limit or a dead line.. 
The qualifier, is always..."Thy will be done"
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.