Post by Caressa2 on May 18, 2004 3:06:03 GMT -5
"We made direct amends to such people wherever possible, except when to do so would injure them or others.
Step Nine
In every relationship, we don't always handle things the way we would have hoped. But friendships don't ahve to end when we make mistakes; instead, we can make amends. If we are sincerely willing to accept the responsibilities involved in friendship and make the amends we owe, those friendships can become stronger and richer than ever.
Making amends is simple. We approach the person we have harmed and say, "I was wrong." Sometimes we avoid getting tothe point, evading an admission of our own part in the affair. But that frustrated the intent of the Ninth Step. To make effective amends, we have to keep it simple, we admit our part, and leave it at that.
There will be times when our friends won't accept our amends. Perhaps they need time to process what has happened. If that is the case, we must give them that time. After all, we were th ones in the wrong, not them. We have done our part; th rest is out of our hands.
Just for today: I want to be a responsible friend. I will strive to keep it simple when making amends.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
Two key words in this reading for me. One is the intent and motive behind the amend. It is about me not about the other person. Also an amend means I am willing to change, and try and not make the same mistake again. Until I have an issue straight in my own mind, I can't take it to another without having taken my own inventory on it and taken responsibility for my own actions.
I had to make an amend to my sponsee this past week. She came up to me at an outdoor patio and made a remark, and the old flipant me responded and my words weren't nice and although they weren't meant to be harmful, they could have been taken wrong by the people around me at the table and I centered her out. I realized that one of my defects was out in full, liking to be the center of attention and I was being a smart A, and I was using my mouth as a weapon instead of a tool for healing. I didn't make an immediate amends although I knew immediately what I had said wasn't right, I hadn't the full implication of my words. We left there shortly afterward, and it wasn't until she came by my place two days later that I could make full amends. Not only where my words wrong, but I don't have a right to put someone else down to make me feel good, or to bring their past up to them in today, especially around other people.
Step Nine
In every relationship, we don't always handle things the way we would have hoped. But friendships don't ahve to end when we make mistakes; instead, we can make amends. If we are sincerely willing to accept the responsibilities involved in friendship and make the amends we owe, those friendships can become stronger and richer than ever.
Making amends is simple. We approach the person we have harmed and say, "I was wrong." Sometimes we avoid getting tothe point, evading an admission of our own part in the affair. But that frustrated the intent of the Ninth Step. To make effective amends, we have to keep it simple, we admit our part, and leave it at that.
There will be times when our friends won't accept our amends. Perhaps they need time to process what has happened. If that is the case, we must give them that time. After all, we were th ones in the wrong, not them. We have done our part; th rest is out of our hands.
Just for today: I want to be a responsible friend. I will strive to keep it simple when making amends.
THOUGHT FOR TODAY:
Two key words in this reading for me. One is the intent and motive behind the amend. It is about me not about the other person. Also an amend means I am willing to change, and try and not make the same mistake again. Until I have an issue straight in my own mind, I can't take it to another without having taken my own inventory on it and taken responsibility for my own actions.
I had to make an amend to my sponsee this past week. She came up to me at an outdoor patio and made a remark, and the old flipant me responded and my words weren't nice and although they weren't meant to be harmful, they could have been taken wrong by the people around me at the table and I centered her out. I realized that one of my defects was out in full, liking to be the center of attention and I was being a smart A, and I was using my mouth as a weapon instead of a tool for healing. I didn't make an immediate amends although I knew immediately what I had said wasn't right, I hadn't the full implication of my words. We left there shortly afterward, and it wasn't until she came by my place two days later that I could make full amends. Not only where my words wrong, but I don't have a right to put someone else down to make me feel good, or to bring their past up to them in today, especially around other people.
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.