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Post by caressa on Jun 14, 2004 17:06:38 GMT -5
It was in NA thought I realized that the drug was but a symptom of my disease (dis-ease). A girl, who was in my eyes very blonde, petite, and dainty, but in her eyes she was ugly and had no self-esteem) shared her story and she told mine. She was a H addict and had never touched alcohol in her life because her father was one. She was everything I wanted to be and wasn't, she shared my feelings, she looked and sounded like we should be night and day, but the story she told was the same. I tried pot once and I tried hash twice (tried, upchuck and lost my booze, which led to a resentment, so I tried one more just to see if maybe the two didn't mix), now that doesn't sound like more to me. I was so sick that I ended up on all fours with my head in the toilet, and crawled away on my hands and knees one time and the other time I had to let my husband drive the car home which was something I would never do when he had been drinking.
Sadly enough, it is the feelings you need to compare. When we get here we are generally not aware of any. If we do have any, they are often mis-labeled or lumped all into one! That one being anger, and certainly not willing to admit fear.
No wonder they said spirituality was a change in attitude sufficient enough to bring about recovery. I had to keep coming to change my attitude. Then I had to keep coming to show my gratitude. Then I had to keep coming because I realized, without you, there is no me.
Have another clean and sober 24! Not 2-4, but 24 hours.
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Post by mender1 on Jun 14, 2004 20:09:09 GMT -5
Addiction is addiction
wet or dry
I have heard my story from a unlikely person also it is kinda wierd hearing someone else tell you what you have ben thru.
People places may be different but the things are the same.
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Post by knothead on Jul 7, 2004 2:17:23 GMT -5
Addiction is addiction wet or dry I have heard my story from a unlikely person also it is kinda wierd hearing someone else tell you what you have ben thru. People places may be different but the things are the same. Amen, dude, amen!!!!!!!!!!! It is totally unreal how much we all have in common, especially when all of the BS is stripped away. I thank God for the pioneers like Dr. Bob & Bill Wilson. Without them, where the fudge would we be?  I sincerely doubt we would be carrying on this "conversation" over the internet. I duobt this message board would even exist. But I thank my Higher Power that it does, nonetheless. You guys are great!!!!!!! |
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Post by lala on Jul 7, 2004 12:50:15 GMT -5
in the fourth edition of the AA big book i found my story it was called " empty on the inside" as i read i couldnt believe i was reading my story my life..to a tee it gave me so much hope and now in mtgs i tend to hear bits and peices of my story being shared daily i love bein sober today and having a god of my understanding wich i dont understand...haha but its ok today because im clean and sober and im FREE......lala
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Post by mender1 on Jul 8, 2004 20:48:57 GMT -5
It goes to show me that addiction leads us to the same points,
Names maybe different but situation's the same.
If it were'nt for our co founder's we still would be seraching for the answer.
Shooting dope was what I like to do.
it became a way of life and then it took over my life.
Thank goodness for the help and recovery i have found
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Post by caressa on Nov 11, 2004 6:12:38 GMT -5
At a CA meeting recently I heard my story and my recovery from a girl who shared at a one year anniversary. I never did crack or cocaine in my life, yet I know that if I picked up again, who is to say that I wouldn't experiment with it. It was never in front of me when I was using. I tried everything else that crossed my path back then, so who is to say that this time would be different.
The girl who spoke never used alcohol, yet her feelings were the same as mine. She took the same Steps to recovery that I did. She walked a very similiar path to get to the rooms of recovery and followed the program in much the same manner as I did once we got here.
She relapsed after she came into recovery, and although I never physically picked up I had emotional and spiritual bottoms in recovery, and I am glad that I didn't have to pick up my drug(s) of choice.
There are times when I have had that extra donut, that extra helping of garlic mashed potatoes, or that extra bite of comfort food. I have worked on the computer a few extra hours to shut off the pain instead of looking at what I did to cause it and what I could do to change it, talked to people so I wouldn't have to be by myself and deal with the feelings.
As long as I am aware, and connected to my Higher Power, I can stop using people, place and things today and go to Him for personal empowerment.
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.