"A" TOPIC DISCUSSION

[majestyjo]

A is for Amen. When you hear something you can identify with; or see something that inspires you; and/or feel something that touches your soul; say Amen and give thanks. Praise and give thanks to your God for those moments that you shows you He is at work in your Life. Amen.

[majestyjo]

A is for Attraction. The Traditions says, "Attraction, not promotion." Do you walk your life so that people look at you and say, "I want what they have!"

I don't speak for AA, I can only share my experience, strength, and hope. My recovery has been on many levels, and have gone to outside sources, one of them was back to church to make amends to my God.

[majestyjo]

A is for Acceptance. You don't have to like it in order to accept it. You don't have to put a picture on it to make a post. I just like to be creative, fancy, have fun, and because I can. It took me a year to learn to copy and paste.

Acceptance is part of change.  I need to be aware I need to change, admit to it, take action to change my attitude, or change my attitude so I can take action.

[majestyjo]

A is for Ageless. It doesn't matter how old you are. The program is ageless. In today, with all the new drugs, and what is available out there, the drugs mixed with alcohol, takes alcoholics down very fast. They get you early, and keep a restraining order on you. Today I saw a young guy that looked like he may be 15, and he looked like an old man, and yet his limbs were very thin and he looked very gaunt. So very dead, he looked like the walking dead.

[majestyjo]

A is for Awareness. I can't change things, if I am not aware that something is in need of changing. That is why I need to do an inventory. I need to look at what is there, not all is 'bad' and not all is 'good' and some needs nurturing and some needs to be changed so that it can be productive and useful in today. What use to be workable, no longer serves us in today, so we need to change things by either throwing them out, changing them by adjusting them or adding to or taking away a part of, what ever it takes, to maintain our sobriety.

We have a disease of perception. I pray to have my vision and perception healed. I ask to be given a new vision and a new awareness as to how I see myself and what is around me.

[majestyjo]

A is for Anxiety. If you have it, ask for your God to heal it. Ask for ways to cope with it. I refused to let it rule my life and become the focus and god, the same way I do with my pain. As it says in the Bible, "Ask, and it will be given onto you. The program is applicable to all areas of my life.

God is only a prayer away! God answers knee mail!

[majestyjo]

A is for Admit. I have to admit that I have an issue that needs to be addressed. In order to not continue in my dis-ease, I need to admit to myself, to my God, and to others. Others can be a sponsor, counsellor, a close friend, or your minister/priest.



God knows, He knew before you did, but He wants you to acknowledge Him and admit that you are willing to change. I can't, my God can, just for today, I choose to let Him/Her.

[majestyjo]

A is for Action. Just don't think it, follow it up with action. When you get a thought and you say "yes" or "no" you have the option of taking action, but if you ignore it, if you don't acknowledge it, you show a willingness not to take action.



As I like to say, I need to take action to change my attitude. I need to change my attitude so I can take action.

[majestyjo]

A is for Available. When you accept a sponsee, do you ask yourself, am I available to sponsor her. Not only am I available physically, am I available mentally, emotionally, and spiritually available.



This disease is four-fold, do I top myself up. I was told to only give away the overflow. Is there any there to give away?

[majestyjo]

A is for Apply. Apply the principles of the program to your life.

THE PRINCIPLES ARE THE STEPS



1. HONESTY

2. HOPE

3. FAITH

4. COURAGE

5. INTEGRITY

6. WILLINGNESS

7. HUMILITY

8. BROTHERLY LOVE

9. JUSTICE

10. PERSEVERANCE

11. SPIRITUAL AWAKENING

12. SERVICE



Variations here:



www.barefootsworld.net/aaprinciples.html

Moved this from another section, started it out as the 5 As of change as a topic discussion.  Now any word beginning with "A" can be discussed here.

[Lin]

The first thing that came to my mind was ATTITUDE. I had to change my attitude about alot of things. I had to decide he was an alcoholic and he did what alcoholics do...not because he wanted to tick me off but because that's what they do. My attitude became an attitude of gratitude and then I started to get better.

LIN

[majestyjo]

Daily Acceptance


"Too much of my life has been spent in dwelling upon the faults of others. This is a most subtle and perverse form of self-satisfaction, which permits us to remain comfortably unaware of our own defects. Too often we are heard to say, `If it weren't for him (or her), how happy I'd be!'"

<< << << >> >> >> 

Our very first problem is to accept our present circumstances as they are, ourselves as we are, and the people about us as they are. This is to adopt a realistic humility without which no genuine advance can even begin. Again and again, we shall need to return to that unflattering point of departure. This is an exercise in acceptance that we can profitably practice every day of our lives.

Provided we strenuously avoid turning these realistic surveys of the facts of life into unrealistic alibis for apathy of defeatism, they can be sure foundation upon which increased emotional health and therefore spiritual progress can be built

1. LETTER, 1966

2. GRAPEVINE, MARCH 1962

Accepting what is the moment, knowing it is subject to change. Until I can find the acceptance, I can't move on.

It was a real issue when I first came in about accepting my alcoholism. I knew I was an addict, my drug of choice had been more all my life. When I acknowledge that alcohol was part of that "more" and that I had used alcohol along with other substances, I could admit to my disease. It made it easier to accept when I said, "Dis-ease" not comfortable within my own skin and always looking for something outside of myself to make me feel better.

Another acceptance was the amount of damage I did to my body over the years. Acceptance of all the wasted years and space as the song goes. Not sure if my fibromyalgia is a result of the physical or mental abuse, a car accident I had at 17, or a combination. I was told that I had PTSD, but not by a doctor, but by a therapist in later years when I went for sexual assault counselling. Again the acceptance came from the recovery phrase, "I had to go through what I went through to get to where I am in today."

Even in today, fibromyalgia affects so many aspects of my life, I still have to find acceptance on a daily basis.

With my son in active addiction, I have to accept his choices, I don't have to like them. I am as powerless over his disease as I was over my own, prior to coming into recovery and surrendering to the program.

Through the program I learned to accept a Higher Power into my life. I was very angry at my God. I had to make an amend to Him and I had to go on a spiritual journey to find out who God was to me. I had to make God personal. I couldn't accept other people's God, because I felt if I did, I would stop looking for God, then where would I be. I had to find my own God and build a relationship with Him/Her.

There is a lot in my own life, like growing older, swollen feet, sores on my feet that don't want to heal because of my diabetes, my five types of arthritis, and lately, I have this feeling that I have bands around my ankles like prisoners wear. Maybe it means I am a prisoner of my own making or of my own mind.

the program is applicable to all areas of my life, and for that I am so grateful.

I had to go through what I went through to get to where I am in today.

[majestyjo]

December 18, 2014
Habitual Anger
Unblocking the Ally
by Madisyn Taylor

Anger can easily become our go-to emotion; to remedy, start noticing when and why you get angry.


Sometimes when we feel anger, it is coming from a deep place that demands acknowledgment and expression. At these times, it is important that we find healthy ways to honor our anger, remembering how dangerous it is to repress it. However, anger can also become a habit, our go-to emotion whenever things go wrong. Often this is because, for whatever reason, we feel more comfortable expressing anger than we do other emotions, like sadness. It can also be that getting angry gives us the impression that we’ve done something about our problem. In these cases, our habitual anger is inhibiting both our ability to express our other emotions and to take action in our lives.

If it’s true that anger is functioning this way in your life, the first thing you might want to try is to notice when you get angry. You might begin to see a pattern of some kind. For example, you could notice that it is always your first response or that it comes up a lot in one particular situation. If the pattern doesn’t become clear right away, you could try keeping a journal about when you get angry and see if you can find any underlying meaning. The good thing about keeping a journal is that you can explore your anger more deeply in it—from examining who in your family of origin expressed a lot of anger to how you feel when you encounter anger in others. This kind of awareness can be a formidable agent of transformation.

Anger can be a powerful ally, since it is filled with energy that we can harness and use to create change in the world. It is one of the most cathartic emotions, and it can also be a very effective cleanser of the emotional system. However, when it becomes a habit, it actually loses its power to transform and becomes an obstacle to growth. Identifying the role anger plays in your life and restoring it to its proper function can bring new energy and expansiveness to your emotional life.

For an alcoholic/addict, anger justified or not, it isn't healthy, especially if held onto, yet as it is express here, it shows us how to channel it. We need to deal with it and express it in healthy ways. It is an emotion like all others, and a normal one, and one that I internalized, while others acted out on, which generally ended up in jails, institutions and death.

I needed to find healthy ways to let it go. By walking, sharing it with others, journaling, at the suggestion of a counsellor, taking a plastic bat and hitting a pillow, talking to my sponsor, counselor, mentor, and taking it to my God and asking for healing.

Under my anger was a lot of resentment, rejection, abandonment, and unnamed emotions that I hadn't allowed myself to feel because of my continued substance abuse. Not just alcohol and drugs, but work, food, relationships, and in recovery, getting involved in service and not taking the time to work and look at myself and my own issues. Mine didn't seem important, forgetting my stuff was traumatic to me, and not allowing myself time to heal. I pooh hood it all away, because everyone seemed to be worse off or I just didn't want to look at it. As they say, we are only as sick as our secrets. I stayed sick. I stayed angry. When I quit smoking at seven years sober, it was like I was a newcomer.

Each day I have to work on my emotional sobriety.

[majestyjo]

Tuesday, February 25, 2014

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go


Accepting Imperfection

"Why do I do this to myself?" asked a woman who wanted to lose weight. "I went to my support group feeling so guilty and ashamed because I ate half a cookie that wasn't on the diet. I found out that everyone cheats a little, and some people cheat a lot. I felt so ashamed before I came to the group, as though I were the only one not doing my diet perfectly. Now I know that I'm dieting as well as most, and better than some."


Why do we do this to ourselves? I'm not talking strictly about dieting, I'm talking about life. Why do we punish ourselves by thinking that we're inferior while believing that others are perfect - whether in relationships, recovery, or a specific task?

Whether we're judging others or ourselves it's two sides of the same coin: perfection. Neither expectation is valid.

It is far more accurate and beneficial to tell ourselves that who we are is okay and what we are doing is good enough. That doesn't mean we won't make mistakes that need correcting; doesn't mean we won't get off track from time to time; doesn't mean we can't improve. It means with all our mistakes and wandering, we're basically on course. Encouraging and approving of ourselves is how we help ourselves stay on track.

Today, I will love and encourage myself. I will tell myself that what I'm doing is good enough, and I'll let myself enjoy that feeling.

For so many years I thought I was ugly. My sponsor said, "When are you going to recognize that you are an attractive woman and not buy into other peoples insecurities and jealousies.

Because my husband was running around with other women, I took it personal and thought it was because I was ugly.  I wasn't attractive enough.  I felt less than.  I thought I was a bad dancer.  Ironically, he was the only person I had trouble dancing with.    I was raised that dancing was a sin and it wasn't allowed and I had never danced until I met him.  Hurts big and small can leave scars that run deep.  I had a lot of healing to do in order to recover.

[majestyjo]

Acceptance is a big thing in many areas of my life. Accepting my dis-ease, myself in the moment, my family and friends for where they are at in the moment in their own olife, and accepting that God doesn't think the way I do.

Accepting that "It is a good thing He doesn't!" Instead of defying God and changing my won't power into willingness, I surrender each day into His care. The day is much better when I start it with the Serenity Prayer. I defied God for many years, with don't tell me, "Watch me!"

I am glad I don't have to live that way anymore. I can't disobey and shut Him out and have faith and trust too.

Acceptance doesn't mean I have to like it. If I become defiant and not accept things as they are, then I need to accept the pain that goes along with that choice.

The best thing for me to remember is that life changes, and I am no longer 'with it' and don't have an honest desire to be out there and be that swingin' chick and party girl. The nice thing is, that in today, I have the acceptance.

For many years I felt like I had to justify my existence and reason for being. Today, it is okay to just be.

When I don't have acceptance, I can't change. When I justify, I stay stuck and act out in old behavior.

JADE = do not justify, argue, defend or explain just accept the situation and get on with your life.

Lildee

[majestyjo]

From "A Small White Card":

"Yet I had a spiritual experience the night I called A.A.,
though I didn’t realize it until later. Two angels came,
carrying a real message of hope, and told me about A.A.
My sponsor laughed when I denied that I had prayed for
help. I told him that the only time I had mentioned God was
when, in my despair at being unable to get either drunk or
sober, I had cried out, 'God! What am I going to do?'

"He replied, 'I believe that prayer was a pretty good one for a
first one from an atheist. It got an answer, too.'
– Brighton, Colorado, USA"

Came to Believe, 30th printing 2004, pg. 25

I really like this. How many times I took or spoke God's name in vane. How many times, I ignored His presence and chose to do things my way.

Looking back over the years, He was there. There were many times, that I should have been dead or hurt much more than I was. i.e. I was raped by one guy, there were three in the room.

I was in that situation because I listened to a person I thought was my friend instead of listening to myself.

I could really identify. I just taking more and more, and it wasn't enough. It wasn't until I stopped to think about where I was at and reached out for help, that my life changed.

This is a post from 2007

In today, I believe a prayer is a thought. I try to be careful of the thoughts that I send out and remember that what goes around, comes around.

God was there. I wasn't all there until I came into the program, worked the Steps and became whole.

A lot is our motive and our intent, is it real or conditional.

[majestyjo]

"Remember if you point at someone, you have 3 fingers coming back at you. If you are looking at someone and see good attributes in them, then you need to own them. I was told it was a program of reflection and I have some of that goodness within me to recognize it.

I always thought of the negative and didn`t recognize that the positive was true as well. My awakening came after hearing a great speaker who came from a similiar place and I could identify with her.

I was told that for every negative in my 4th Step, I had to find a positive to balance it. Like the chip of the day, which side do we lean toward. Somethings are better, some have declined and need nurturing, and the rest, my God and I are working on them.

i.e. faith/fear, patient/impatient, happy/unhappy, tolerant/intolerant, etc.

It is one day at a time. A long-timer use to say that he had 13 trash tins and only 12 lids, and a defect of character popped up every day. He would put a lid on it and another one would pop up. He had 25 years of sobriety when I had 2. I went to all the morning meetings and he was there. He was one of the ones who showed me the way.

For me it has been awareness and praying and asking for clarity and my own truth. Sometimes when I am stumped, I say a prayer, take a meditation book or my angel and animal cards, and I am directed to what I need to hear and see.

The books I hold them a few minutes, pray, and open the book and read the page that is in front of me. I use my Bible, Courage to Change, The Language of Letting Go, As Bill Sees It, and In God`s Care.

There was a time it was when we ignored trouble, hoping it will go away. Or, in fear and in depression, we ran from it, but found it was still there. Often , full of unreason, bitterness, and blame, we fought back. These mistaken attitudes, powered by alcohol, guaranteed our destruction, unless they were altered.

- As Bill Sees It pg. 110

This is what I got when I followed my suggestion. I also know that I need to ask for my perception to be healed and that I am seeing things as they are, rather than what I would have them be.

For many years, I was caught up in tunnel vision, selective hearing, and as Jimmy Durante (before your time) use to say, "Only the nose knows."

It is about getting in touch with my Inner Self and aligning myself with my God's will for me today, rather than acting out in the isms of my disease.

When I became more aware, I went to a Horoscope book and looked up the characteristics of an Aries. I found they looked at me and wrote the book. I could identify so much with the things posted there.

I don't live by it. I had a friend who wouldn't get out of bed in the morning, until she read her horoscope for the day. Not much faith in that, saying a prayer and asking my God into my life each mornings seems like a much better solution.

It was nice to know that there were others who thought like me. When I went into recovery, I found that there were people of all signs of the Zodiac who had been where I had been.

[majestyjo]

"Whom you see here, what you hear here, when you leave here, let it stay here" is a lesson not only in maintaining anonymity but also in avoiding gossip.

"Gossip never enriched anyone's character: It was only an excuse to avoid focusing on myself:' Courage to Change, p. 300
Have been the brunt of a lot of gossip. It has made me look at myself and take my own inventory and take responsibility for myself, and leave the rest. I was told that for ever finger I point at someone, I have three coming back at me.

So if they speak about me, I always pray that the spirit of my program goes before me and those that know me and those that really care, will know I walk my truth to the best of my ability.

If I find myself judging others, then I really need to dig deep. It takes one to know one, whether it is good or bad. It is a very negative thing, yet I can change it into a positive for my recovery.

[majestyjo]

A is for addiction. Once an addict, always an addict. Once an alcoholic, always an alcoholic.

[majestyjo]

A is for Amends. We do get pardoned for past mistakes when we take them to our Higher Power. He is willing and able to forgive us. When we make an amend to others, we need to change our ways before we say, "I'm sorry." They are empty words if we say them and continue to act out in our old patterns, habits, and beliefs. Most of all, we need to pardon ourselves. We are Children of God, and God doesn't make no Junk. His Pardon is sufficient for me in today.

Sometimes we go to friends and if we are lucky they pardon us, some do not. That is okay, an amend isn't about them, it is about you and your recovery.