FOOD FOR THOUGHT/OA - NOVEMBER

[majestyjo]

Saturday, November 1, 2014

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Food Is Not Love

With our heads, we know that food is not the same thing as love. When this fact sinks into our emotions, we are released from our obsession with food. In order to reach this point of emotional development, we need to abstain physically from compulsive overeating. As long as we are physically addicted to refined sugars and starches and binge foods, we do not have the perspective necessary to move away from our emotional attachment to these foods.

It is easy for babies and children to confuse food with love. As they mature, they learn to discriminate between the two. If we are compulsive overeaters, we need the OA program and a spiritual awakening to bring clarity to our confusion. We have much emotional and spiritual growing up to do.

If our early needs for love was not satisfied, no amount of food will compensate. It is by giving love that we are able to fill our inner emptiness, and it is through our Higher Power that we are healed and made able to love.

May we remember in our hearts that food is not love.

We may love our food, but it doesn't love us back, in fact it can become our worst enemy.

[majestyjo]

Sunday, November 2, 2014

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Fear of Giving

It is often the fear of rejection, which makes us afraid to give of ourselves. The person who is reluctant to share at a meeting may be holding back because of this fear. To share is to reveal who we are and where we are. If we feel inadequate, we do not want to expose this imagined inadequacy to other people.

If our self-image is too grand and inflated, we cannot possibly live up to it in reality. Expecting ourselves to be perfect sets us up for frustration and fear, since we know deep down that we do not measure up to our image of perfection.

With humility comes the willingness to give of what we have and what we are right now, without waiting until we are more eloquent or more accomplished. What we have to share is what someone else needs to receive. By focusing more on the needs of others and less on the imaginary concept of ourselves, which is our ego, we learn to overcome our fear of giving. What we have to give now is enough for today.

May I not be afraid to give.

Have always believed if you have enough for one, you have enough to feed two.

What we have to give now is enough for today.

An awesome statement, very freeing and very enlightening. My sponsor use to say, never give away more than you can afford to lose.

[majestyjo]

Monday, November 3, 2014

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Learning Moderation

If we had known how to practice moderation, we would not have become compulsive overeaters. Following the abstinence guidelines enables us to eat moderately. Working the Twelve Steps teaches us moderation in other activities.

Knowing when to quit involves knowing ourselves. We tend to get carried away with our determination to finish a job today, to explain our life history to a new friend in one afternoon, to complete a major project in record time. The tendency to devour life rapidly in huge chunks can be as damaging as compulsive overeating.

It is the serenity we acquire from contact with our Higher Power that saves us from wearing ourselves out compulsively. An awareness of the quiet Power and order, which sustains all life calms our over, stimulated personalities. Dependence on God as we understand Him gives us the support and confidence we need to be content with moderate efforts and accomplishments.

Teach me to practice moderation.

Moderation must be a learned behaviour and/or a God given gift, it never was a part of my thought process or work behaviour over the years. It was all or nothing at all, in all that I did. Whether it came to food, work, or play.

[majestyjo]

Tuesday, November 4, 2014

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

How Much Is Enough?

We continue to weigh and measure our food when we are maintaining as well as when we are losing. Since we are compulsive overeaters, we do not have a built in concept of how much food is enough. Exact measurements relieve us of the anxiety of deciding how much is enough. Since we are experts at rationalizing extra amounts, we do not allow ourselves to estimate portions when scales and measuring cups are available.

For the compulsive overeater, no amount of food is enough. We make a rational decision about our food plan for the day, basing the decision on the objective nutritional requirements of our body rather than subjective emotional cravings. We give this food plan to a qualified sponsor, which prevents us from getting lost in endless preoccupation and anxiety about what we are going to eat.

When we conscientiously follow the abstinence guidelines, we can rest secure in the knowledge that we have eaten the right amount of food.

May I be satisfied with enough.

A good thought! Enough for some, may not be enough for someone else. Trying to define another and being judge and jury, doesn't work. I have problems judging what is good for me, how can I know what is right for someone else. All I can do is share what worked for me and the any awareness I achieved over the years.

It is about self-honesty.  What is good for me, for my size, for my health and well being.

[majestyjo]

Wednesday, November 5, 2014
You are reading from the book Food for Thought
No Perfect People

We may have spent much time and energy looking for perfect people to fulfill our lives. This process involves projecting our fond illusions onto those we meet, building them up way out of reality, and then being terribly disillusioned when extended and intimate acquaintance proves them to be just ordinary people.

Accepting our friends and family for what they are rather than what we idealize them to be is part of growing up emotionally. It is our own weakness and insecurity that causes us to try to make gods out of other people. As we learn to accept ourselves as less than perfect, we are able to reduce the unreasonable demands we make on others. As we come to know our Higher Power, we do not need to make gods out of fellow human beings.

By not expecting perfection from others, we can love them as they are, encouraging their strengths and supporting their weaknesses.

I pray for the emotional maturity to accept myself and those I love.

Had the thought today about how much of recovery is working on the emotions, and how we deal with them in healthy ways, without using food and other substances to deal with them. Not only about using food, but not substituting other things, that lead to another state of obsessive, compulsive behaviour.

[majestyjo]

Thursday, November 6, 2014

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Pain

Living without the narcotic of excess food means learning to cope with emotional pain. Uncomfortable feelings, which we have covered up by eating, begin to surface as we abstain. At first, our emotional reactions are often vague and diffuse, since we have not yet acquired enough insight to identify what it is that is bothering us.

If we are willing to stay with the emotional discomfort and pain, we will eventually gain understanding. Sometimes we have to spend time hurting before we are able to pass through one phase in our development and move on to the next. Whatever the suffering, it is preferable to the agony of a binge. Facing emotional pain is constructive; trying to bury it under food is destructive.

Our pain is often associated with events in the past, which are still troubling us unconsciously. When we are able to identify the source of the pain, we can examine it in the light of our present maturity and begin to put it behind us. As long as we avoid feeling the pain, we deny ourselves the healing which our Higher Power can give us.

May I accept the pain that is necessary for continued growth.

Acceptance is the key. Fighting only brings more, letting go opens the door to healing.

[majestyjo]

Friday, November 7, 2014

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Food Is Not Mother

In the mind of a baby; "food" is synonymous with "mother." As the baby grows, the two concepts become differentiated, but perhaps never completely separated. We compulsive overeaters may still be confusing food with mother.

Often we feel a great deal of hostility and resentment toward our mother - she did not give us enough love, or she gave us the wrong kind; she over fed us, or she denied us what we needed. We may still be searching the refrigerator for the perfect mother! Isn't it about time to realize that she is not there?

No matter what we eat, or how much, we cannot turn back the clock and again become part of our mother. Perhaps instead of being inadequate, our mother was such a great source of comfort and satisfaction that we do not want to face life without a substitute for her presence. Our Higher Power intends that we come to depend on Him even more than we once depended on our mother. He daily offers us a relationship of even greater love and closeness than the one between mother and child. To grow in that relationship requires abstinence from compulsive overeating.

I turn over to You my relationship with my mother.

My mother was a good cook. She made everything from scratch. Her cakes turned out better than ones made out of one from a cake mix. Yet our cooking relationship was not a good one and I don't associate food as a comfort thing with her, what she cooked yes, but not our mother/daughter relationship. She passed away when I was 21 and I left home at the age of 17. I wasn't allowed to do much cooking because I didn't do it right and don't remember cooking although I did, because she was sick and we had a boarder and I took over the mother role. Strange, will have to give this some thought.

[majestyjo]

Saturday, November 8, 2014

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Cleaning Up

Cleaning up after a meal and taking care of leftovers is a hard job for most compulsive overeaters. What makes it so difficult is our old habit of putting leftovers in our mouths instead of in the refrigerator or the garbage. Once we decide that we will have nothing at all after our measured meal, the clean up job becomes amazingly easy.

If we are not spending our energy fighting the temptation to have a bite of this or that, the energy is available for the task that needs to be done. Cleaning up is accomplished with much less time and effort when we are not arguing with ourselves about what happens to the leftovers.

In the past, we may have felt that cleaning up was a demeaning job. As we work our program, we begin to get more satisfaction from all the work we do, and we are less concerned about the relative status of the jobs that fall to us. There is satisfaction in cleaning up after a meal, just as there is satisfaction in cleaning up our lives by means of the OA program.

May I not be too proud to enjoy cleaning up.

Don't mind clean up my life. I have always had issues with cleaning up dishes after a meal. I hate doing dishes and it is a long time thing from my childhood. Perhaps I am a little overdue in asking for healing in this area. I truly believe my mother had fibromyalgia and she would let things go and then would do everything at once and then it was clean, clean, clean. It was a big chore when it happened. Instead of making it simple as you go thing, it became a monstrous task filled with dread and horror, especially as a child. It is surprising how many body memories we have, not sure how much it will help me to love doing dishes, but I think God and I will have a little talk about this.

[majestyjo]

Sunday, November 9, 2014

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Where's the Party?

Most of us have early memories of birthday parties - our own and those of other children - and as compulsive overeaters, we probably remember the food more than anything else. For as long as we can recollect, parties have meant eating and drinking. The better and more abundant the food and drink, the better the party; or so we thought.

Maintaining abstinence means that we will attend parties where we do not eat and drink, if what is available is not on our food plan. In order to do this with serenity and enjoyment, we need to redefine our idea of a party. It is no celebration if we break our abstinence and go back to compulsive overeating.

Through this program, we come to see that a party is something more than an occasion for eating and drinking. Enjoying ourselves with other people requires goodwill, mutual attraction, and the effort to communicate with and affirm each other. If these elements are present, there will be a party whether or not there is anything to eat or drink. If these elements are absent, no amount of refreshments will ensure a good time.

Thank You for fun.

Never had a birthday party until I was 16. Very few after that as I recall, and in later years I tried to make them special. They were more of a sad time than a good time, more like a time of drowning my sorrows than a time of celebration, not to mention the fact that I didn't like the fact that I was growing another year older.

[majestyjo]

Monday, November 10, 2014

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Plan Plans, Not Results

Understanding that we do not have the power to control the results of our plans is an important step toward accepting reality. We do make plans, based on the information, experience, and insight which we have available to us. The outcome of our plans, however, is dependent on circumstances, which are frequently beyond our control.

When we accept the fact that the results of our plans are always in the hands of our Higher Power, we can relax and leave the outcome to Him. When we do not insist compulsively that life go according to our design, we are able to avoid the inevitable frustration produced by such an unrealistic attitude. However good our intentions, our designs are always finite and based on limited knowledge. We need to trust a Power greater than ourselves.

Our idea of what is best for ourselves and those we love may not always be right, according to God's will. The faith that He will carry out His design for us, even when we do not understand it, relieves us of much anxiety and frustration.

I leave results to You.

I can't, my God can, just for today, I choose to let Him.

[majestyjo]

Tuesday, November 11, 2014

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Asking Directions

When we do not know which way to turn, let us not be too proud to ask for directions. We have found our way to a program, which can guide us out of the confusion of compulsive overeating into an ordered, satisfying way of life. In OA, there are people who can give us the directions we need, if we will ask for help.

There is much that we can do on our own thoroughly studying the literature, planning our three meals a day, establishing firm contact with our Higher Power. When we hit a snag, however, or are unsure of how to handle a difficult situation, we need to promptly seek the assistance our group provides. In order to receive help, we usually need to ask for it.

The illusion that we knew how to manage our lives and did not have to follow anyone else's directions was one of the causes of our difficulties with food and with life in general. Admitting that by ourselves we are powerless enables us to ask for the directions we need.

I ask for Your directions. Lord.

Why wait until we are lost and find ourselves in a place where we don't want to be, before we ask for direction? They say it is the nature of our disease and the fact that we are human; and yet thanks to this program, we can recognize when we are heading that way, we can stop and turn around and not go the whole route, get to a dead end, or take a detour. We can turn our life around with some good orderly direction if we but surrender to the program and just ask for help.

[majestyjo]

Wednesday, November 12, 2014

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Don't Anticipate

We wear ourselves out unnecessarily when we spend our energy anticipating the future rather than living in the present. To anticipate bad things is obviously detrimental to our serenity. It is also needless, since most of the things we worry about never happen. Even if some of them do occur, it is easier by far to deal with real disasters than with imagined ones.

Anticipating future satisfactions can also be detrimental to our serenity. If we are living for an event or condition, which is yet to come, we are not completely alive to what is here now. We may build up some future pleasure in our minds to such an unrealistic pitch that the actual event is bound to be disappointing.

Accepting the here and now is what ensures our sanity and our serenity. Reality is never more than we can manage, with the help of our Higher Power. It is our anticipation of the future, which is unreal and dangerous.

May I live today and leave the future to You.

As my sponsor called it, quit trying to figure it out. Stop intellectualizing, accept, live in the moment, don't look for the whys and how and wheres, and just be.

As I have said before, "One of my not so good little talks with my God would go along this line: ...couldn't you just give me a little hint so we both will know."

[majestyjo]

Thursday, November 13, 2014

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Pinpointing Anxiety

Many of us suffer from a vague, nameless anxiety for which we are unable to find a source. We do not know exactly what we fear, but we know that we are afraid. In the past, we tried to dispel this ominous anxiety by eating.

As long as we overate compulsively, we made it more difficult to get at the reasons for our anxiety. Trying to cover it up with food did not get rid of it, and until we stopped eating compulsively we were unable to identify the source of our anxiety.

By abstaining, we face anxiety rather than trying to cover it up. If we are willing to put up with a certain amount of emotional discomfort, we will be able to understand and work through many of the irrational notions that have made us anxious. Our Higher Power allows buried fears to surface as we acquire the strength and faith to confront them. When we are abstinent, we are able to define our anxiety more clearly and handle it with greater maturity.

By Your light, may we see our irrational anxiety for what it is.

Like the last line, we can pray and ask our God to light our way to what we need to know, to be lead to the awakening and awareness we need to change our habits, to lessen our stress, to reduce our anxiety, to increase our hope and faith.

[majestyjo]

Friday, November 14, 2014

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Waking Up to Truth

Our illusions were tied to our compulsive overeating behavior. Abstaining from the behavior makes it possible for us to let go of our illusions. It is the Higher Power that leads us into the truth, which penetrates and dispels illusions.

Working the Steps, reading the OA literature, and talking with other members prepares us to receive new truth. Our Higher Power gives us insights, sometimes-in quick flashes of perception and sometimes slowly over a long period of time. The experience of discovery is one of the most rewarding facets of our program. It is an ongoing process, since we continue to grow and become aware of new truth.

Too much food kept us in a fog. Now we are recovering from the physical effects of our addiction to refined sugars and carbohydrates and the emotional dependency on eating to avoid feeling pain. In the process, we wake up to more and more truth about others, our Higher Power, and ourselves.

May I live by the truth that You reveal.

Like these words. One of my favourite sayings is, "God is as He reveals Himself to me in today." How can I see Him if I see Him if I have my eyes closed and my blinders on? How can I see His truth if I have tunnel vision and look through rose-coloured glasses?

[majestyjo]

Saturday, November 15, 2014

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Loving Truth

Since it is truth that sets us free - free from our addiction and free from crippling fear - we come to love this truth, even when it hurts. It was mainly our fear that kept us from recognizing the truth about ourselves. We needed help and support from a Higher Power before we could face reality. Now that the OA program sustains us, we can devote our time and energy to striving for truth in all that we think, say, and do.

Our devotion to truth may bring us into conflict with those around us. What we need to remember is that we are not responsible for convincing anyone else of what we believe to be true. We are honest about where we are, but we do not expect or demand agreement from anyone else. Since each of us has a different perspective, we can only know the truth, as we each understand it. Loving truth means that we acknowledge it to be too big for any one of us to grasp completely.

Increase my devotion to Your truth.

What a nice thought to start the day. Haven't heard that phrase for a long time. "Your truth shall set you free."

rickwarren.org/devotional/english/the-truth-sets-you-free

[majestyjo]

Sunday, November 16, 2014

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Alive to Truth

Being alive to truth requires being in touch with ourselves and with our Higher Power. It requires that we value spiritual truth more than material things. We come to realize that the insights and emotional growth we gain through this program are more valuable than the things we used to think we had to have.

Being alive to truth involves living each present moment. If we are obsessed with the past or preoccupied with the future, we will miss the truth of now. Today we can be who we are and give of our best in whatever situation we find ourselves.

Our Higher Power promises that if we ask for truth, we shall receive it. It will be found when we seek it more than status, money, or physical comfort. When we are alive to truth, we are open to the source of Power, which will never let us down.

Today, I will be alive to truth.

The thought that came to mind was, "If you don't want to know the truth, don't ask for it! If we don't want to be alive to the truth, there is a good chance of the opposite. We will be dead. My mother carried that message. She was told to lose weight and if she didn't watch her food intake and her heart condition, and she ended up in the hospital again, she would not leave, and she didn't. She was 28 days shy of her 41st birthday. They say you can't scare an addict. She didn't change.

She went out and chased cows rather than wait for the men to come and home to get them back into the fields to mend the broken gate. The caretaker, the doer, the fixer, and the person who handled her emotions by eating. I also believe in today, that she too had Fibromyalgia. She used food to deal with her pain. My father was an alcoholic and he did what a lot of alcoholics do and she covered up her hurts using food.

[majestyjo]

Monday, November 17, 2014

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Escape into Sleep

After we stop eating compulsively, we may be tempted to use sleep as a form of escape. Though not as detrimental as excess food, too much sleep can also make us lethargic and dull. The danger lies in allowing ourselves to escape the realities of living, rather than coping with them.

We all need adequate rest in order to feel good and function efficiently. Sleep becomes an escape, however, if we take long daytime naps instead of finding worthwhile and enjoyable activities. Just as we may have overeaten because of boredom, we may oversleep because we have nothing better to do.

Our Higher Power has a plan for the time and talents He gives us. It is our job to discover how and where we can best serve God and each other. With the new life we are given in OA goes the responsibility to use it productively. Since this is the only life we have, we do not choose to sleep it away. By facing our problems with the help of this program, we learn how to deal with them.

Deliver me from indolence.

How often I used my bed to escape the reality I didn't want to face. I am powerless over people, places, and things.

[majestyjo]

Tuesday, November 18, 2014

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

No Exit

We have tried many ways of avoiding problems and pain. In addition to food, we may have used alcohol, drugs, sleep, sex, compulsive activity, or excessive daydreaming to try to escape whatever it was that we did not want to encounter. Undoubtedly, we found that nothing worked permanently; the problem or pain remained.

It is the attempt to avoid discomfort that turns fear into panic. Whatever troubles or threatens us becomes more unmanageable when we pretend that it does not exist. Now that we have the OA program and contact with a Power greater than ourselves, we can confront our problems without searching frantically for an exit from reality.

Our pain is what teaches us the things we need to know. By being willing to be broken, we are able to become whole. Through our distress, we are watched over by the One who heals us. We need no exit.

Thank You for the faith that overcomes panic.

Amen

[majestyjo]

Wednesday, November 19, 2014

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Appetite Is Not Hunger

Confusing a "hearty" appetite with genuine, physical hunger is a mistake made consistently by compulsive overeaters. Our idea of how much food our body needs is usually a great exaggeration of the actual requirement. Because of an overdeveloped appetite, we are unfamiliar with the feeling of true hunger.

Since we cannot rely on subjective feelings to tell us how much we need to eat, we require an objective, definite plan. When we reach our normal weight, we continue to eat according to a measured food plan, rather than according to appetite. We will never be able to satisfy the demands of our appetite without destroying ourselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

When we think we require more food than is called for by our plan, we need to examine our thinking. Usually we find that we are being deluded by the demands of our overdeveloped appetite. We would like to eat more, but in fact, our body does not need more.

I pray for the wisdom to distinguish between appetite and hunger.

Wednesday, November 19, 2014
You are reading from the book Food for Thought
Appetite Is Not Hunger

Confusing a "hearty" appetite with genuine, physical hunger is a mistake made consistently by compulsive overeaters. Our idea of how much food our body needs is usually a great exaggeration of the actual requirement. Because of an overdeveloped appetite, we are unfamiliar with the feeling of true hunger.

Since we cannot rely on subjective feelings to tell us how much we need to eat, we require an objective, definite plan. When we reach our normal weight, we continue to eat according to a measured food plan, rather than according to appetite. We will never be able to satisfy the demands of our appetite without destroying ourselves physically, emotionally, and spiritually.

When we think we require more food than is called for by our plan, we need to examine our thinking. Usually we find that we are being deluded by the demands of our overdeveloped appetite. We would like to eat more, but in fact, our body does not need more.

I pray for the wisdom to distinguish between appetite and hunger.[/QUOTE]

The word voracious came to mind, and how our addiction can be all consuming and as I like to say, when I get needy, I get greedy.

[majestyjo]

Thursday, November 20, 2014

You are reading from the book Food for Thought

Eating For Mother

As babies and children, we made Mother happy by eating what she gave us. Since our emotions were closely tied to hers, when she was happy, we were also happy. We may have developed the mistaken notion that the more we ate, the happier Mother would be and, therefore, the happier we would be.

This illusion may be persisting into our adult life. On some level, we may not yet realize that no amount of food we can eat will make Mother permanently happy, anymore than it will make us happy. We may have eaten many times in the past in order to please Mother, rather than because we really wanted food. Subconsciously, we may still think we could please her by consuming more food than we need.

Working the OA program often brings to light other things we are doing in order to please someone else. Since each individual is responsible for his or her own happiness, there is nothing we can do to ensure the happiness of another individual. Realizing this on a gut level is a powerful tool for maintaining abstinence.

May I realize the/utility of eating to please someone else.

Old tapes can show themselves up in many ways. It is up to us to recognize them for what they are. I found it best to erase them an make new ones. I also had to recognize the fact that I was the one who had the choice as to whether I pushed the buttons rewind, delete, play, or fast forward.