|
|
Post by DianaK on Aug 6, 2004 12:27:20 GMT -5
My Hubby will be celebrating one year of sobriety from marijuana on August 12th. ;D He said the past few days he has been feeling anxiety and stress. He said that others who got close to their first anniversary date have told him that this is normal when approaching the first anniversary date. I was just wondering if any of you here have experienced the same thing, and if so, how did you cope with it? By the way, my hubby does not drink or do any other drugs, nor does he smoke cigarettes. Thanks for any insight you can provide!
|
|
|
|
Post by ~graced~ on Aug 7, 2004 9:27:54 GMT -5
Hiya, Diana....welcome to the community! And yep, I'm one who tends to get a bit....'squirrelly' when it's nearing my sobriety/clean date. It's not as intense as it used to be, but it still happens for me. In my case, there's a whole lot of memories that come with anniversaries. It's kinda like grieving all over again for me. It's not necessarily a bad thing, as long as I play the tape all the way through to remember the whole ball of wax and not just those 'good times'...cuz those 'good times' cost me and others dearly. And I have so much more to be grateful for, clean and sober.
I put my hind end in the chair more, make sure I'm touching bases with a whole lotta folks...and as they suggest over and over again, I get out of me and go help some other person. Generally that does it for me and I get the thrust of the whole picture. I get a bit skiddish near anniversaries cuz I also know the further I get away from that first drink/high..the closer I can get to picking up. I can get thingyy and complacent and convince myself of the darndest things. That's why surrounding myself with folks who'll remind me of the ultimate truth is a good plan for me.
Congratulations to you and your fella on this upcoming anniversary. A year is a big deal, despite it being 'just another day', ya know?
*hugs*
|
|
|
|
Post by DianaK on Aug 7, 2004 10:27:28 GMT -5
Thanks for your reply! I am so very proud of my hubby approaching his first anniversary clean date, as since we've been together this is the 3rd or 4th attempt he's made. The longest he made it before was a little over 9 months. I think that maybe he's afraid that he'll relapse again, even tho he is doing the program this time. Other times he quit he went to meetings,but didn't do his steps or get a sponsor. This time he's working his steps, attending meetings, but unfortunately his sponsor has recently dropped out of the program and also sponsoring my hubby (his wife just had a baby). I think he might be feeling apprehensive because he has lost his sponsor, and has not found a new one yet.
I plan on making sure my hubby has a 'birthday' cake for his one year anniversary, and I'd also like to do something special for him to celebrate. Any suggestions?
|
|
|
|
Post by Lin on Aug 7, 2004 19:02:28 GMT -5
I'm from the other side of the hallway..(alanon, naranon and acoa) You asked for a suggestion of a gift. On my husband's one year anniversary i ordered him a coin from hazelden. It had a tree on it and the prhase..the day my new life bagan. You send it back with the date and they engrave the day, month and year. He has carried that coin for voer 3 years now and loves it. Other ideas are recovery tapes, leather covers for their books, caps or mugs with slogans on them or other recovery books. They ahve lots of coins that are appropriate to anniversaries. hazelden has online ordering and there may be a local store like we ahve here.
I have also heard lots of people getting a bit squirrely when it gets close to the date. My guess is they think they may be asked to speak and may be shy.
Congrats to you both.
LIN
|
|
|
|
Post by ~graced~ on Aug 8, 2004 8:09:21 GMT -5
Thanks for your reply! I am so very proud of my hubby approaching his first anniversary clean date, as since we've been together this is the 3rd or 4th attempt he's made. The longest he made it before was a little over 9 months. I think that maybe he's afraid that he'll relapse again, even tho he is doing the program this time. Other times he quit he went to meetings,but didn't do his steps or get a sponsor. This time he's working his steps, attending meetings, but unfortunately his sponsor has recently dropped out of the program and also sponsoring my hubby (his wife just had a baby). I think he might be feeling apprehensive because he has lost his sponsor, and has not found a new one yet. I plan on making sure my hubby has a 'birthday' cake for his one year anniversary, and I'd also like to do something special for him to celebrate. Any suggestions? Personalized medallions are pretty cool! I have one that I carry on my person. Dunno if your husband carries a chip, but for me it serves as a constant reminder. I have a couple 'rocks' I carry as well....LOL Strange as it might sound, they're stones that have words engraved on them. "Hope" and "Peace". They were given to me from people who wished more than anything to bring those things into my life. There's been times I stick a hand in my pocket to rub one of those when I'm needing a bit of peace or hope. Kinda like a worry stone, somehow they give me comfort. Recovery 'gifts' are always a neat thing and there's a whole lot of sources to find NA/recovery items nowadays. Ya know, having been sponsorless once or twice in sobriety I gotta tell ya.....I didn't like it much. There was a whole lotta safety in having that person who I was accountable to, who was accountable to me and who helped me walk through the steps a day at a time. I struggled every time when I had to go searching for a new sponsor, anniversary or not. I'll hope that he's able to locate at least a temporary sponsor soon. Sounds like having a sponsor has been a vital part of his recovery to date. And thanks. For being supportive of his recovery, for walking through all this and still loving him and for recognizing how important all this is for him and for the both of you. Be safe, stay well.... www.hazelden.org/OA_HTML/ibeCCtpSctDspRte.jsp?section=10021(link to Hazelden's store) |
|
|
|
Post by mender1 on Aug 8, 2004 12:22:46 GMT -5
When I get close to my sober date 11/16/92 I still remember the bad things that led me here.
I become aware today I do not think I get nervous or out of wack but I am sure aware.
I freak out the first couple years and it has gotten better thru the years.
I would say yes it is very normal.
Tell him Really Cool about the year and give him a big hug.
It is along time without a joint!!!!!!
Real Cool
|
|
|
|
Post by Lin on Aug 14, 2004 7:02:55 GMT -5
I was jsut wondering how it went. What did you end of finding for him?
LIN
|
|
|
|
Post by DianaK on Aug 14, 2004 13:09:57 GMT -5
Well, another friend of his got him a medallion, so I decided against it. Instead I got him a card, took him out to dinner, and then we had a nice quiet evening together. (which was what he wanted because he'd had a tough day at work) I'll be making a 'birthday' cake for his land meeting he attends on Tuesday evenings.
I'm so very proud of him, and how far he's come this past year!
Diana
|
|
|
|
Post by ~graced~ on Aug 15, 2004 9:21:01 GMT -5
Awwwwww......way cool, Diana!
Congrats to him on his year....and be proud of the both of you for walking through it all together, eh?
*hugs*
|
|
|
|
Post by mender1 on Aug 15, 2004 9:43:31 GMT -5
I have a pocket full of coin's
A hug and a smile mean more to me today
Way cool on the year
|
|
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.