step one

[stickmonkey]

Sponsor / Sponsee First Step Worksheet
"We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction,
and that our lives had become unmanageable."

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Preparing for Step One:

Read from the beginning of the Basic Text ("Our Symbol") to the end of Chapter 5 ("What Can I Do?").
Answer, either mentally or in writing, the first paragraph (after the italicized section) of Chapter 4, "How It Works," which begins... These are some of the questions we have asked ourselves:
Are we sure we want to stop using?
Do we understand that we have no real control over drugs?
Do we recognize that in the long run, we didn't use drugs - they used us?
Did jails & institutions take over the management of our lives at different times?
Do we fully accept the fact that our every attempt to stop using or to control our use failed?
Do we know that our addiction changed us into someone we didn't want to be: dishonest, deceitful, self-willed people at odds with ourselves & our fellow man?
Do we really believe that we have failed as drug users?
Write what you expect from Narcotics Anonymous.
Write what you expect from your sponsor.
Write what the exact nature of our addiction is (it will be helpful to look through the 1st ten chapters of the Basic Text & write down all, stated or implied, definitions for addiction).
Get a good dictionary.
Read Chapters 1 & 2, thoroughly, before beginning Step One.
Read the introduction to It Works, How & Why.


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Read Step One out of the Basic Text every day before writing.
Read Step One out of It Works, How & Why.
Write down your definition of each word in the step. Then look up each word individually in the dictionary & write what you learn about the difference between what you thought it meant & what the dictionary says it means.
Write what each part means to you:
We admitted
that we were powerless
over our addiction
and that our lives
had become unmanageable.
Every day write about events that happened that caused strong feelings, today & from the past. Write about the circumstances leading up to the event, the event itself, and the consequences arising from the event, whether good or bad.
Look up Control. Write about what part your need to control played in these events.
Look up Surrender. Write about how an attitude of surrender may have helped.

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The first mistake that many of us make when we come into the program, is that we think drugs are the problem. When we say to the newcomer that drugs are only a symptom of a much deeper problem (addiction), it is hard for them to understand this.

To get a better understanding of addiction, we must look at the disease concept of addiction. From that standpoint, addiction is a disease of attitudes, personality & a general negative outlook that is rooted in fear, insecurity & low self-esteem. The main ingredients of addiction are obsession & compulsions. Obsession - that fixed idea that takes us back time & time again to our particular drug, or some substitute (anything that makes us feel good & offers instant gratification, such as money, power, sex, food, anger) to recapture the ease & comfort we once knew. Compulsion - once having started the process with one fix, one pill, one drink or one substitute, we cannot stop through our own power of will. Because of our physical sensitivity to drugs & anything that makes us feel good, we are completely in the grip of a destructive power greater than ourselves.

Looking at it from this point of view, we see how addiction makes our lives unmanageable, with or without drugs. At this point we must surrender & accept how powerless we are over our addiction. When we do this, a very strange thing happens, we begin to gain power through the we part of the program & the next Eleven Steps. It has often been said that the First Step is our past, and the things of our past, that are with us today. The next Eleven Steps are our future.

Now that we have a better understanding of our addiction, let us look at some ways we apply the First Step in our daily lives. The most obvious is that we don't pick up that first drink/drug or our lives will become unmanageable. We must accept & surrender to this JUST FOR TODAY. Let's now take a look at some non-chemical ways that we can apply this Step in our lives:

You go out to your car in the morning & it has a flat tire. Rather than feeding into the addictive attitudes of anger or frustration, which will create unmanageability, we must accept & surrender to the fact that the tire is flat & take action to correct the situation. As addicts, we tend to resist the idea of surrendering, of using this Step on every day problems, making our lives unmanageable.

Another situation could be that you go out to your car, start it up & the motor dies. It can't be fixed, but you need it for your job. You must be able to apply the first step to this situation. When you surrender & accept that the car cannot be fixed, you then gain the power to find alternate transportation. Or you can refuse to apply the Step, refuse to surrender & allow your life to become unmanageable. The choice is yours.

The First Step can be & must be applied to all areas of our lives. This is called Living the Steps. The bottom line is that drugs are but one symptom of our disease. The only relief we get from our disease is by working the Steps. It is a new & exciting experience that will bring many changes into our lives.

One last thing that must be pointed out is the WE portion of the Steps. All of our steps begin with we, except the 12th, which has the word we in the middle. This makes us different than any other 12 Step program. Narcotics Anonymous is a WE program, not a "me" program. Part of our strength & power comes from we. Together we can. I can't, we can! This is why we need meetings for the rest of our lives, this is why we need contact, daily, with other recovering addicts.

Many newcomers may think, "If I stop using, I should be cured & I don't need the program or meetings anymore." The only way we can clear up this denial is through an analogy. A normie (non-addict) who goes to the hospital for an operation is given a physically addictive drug for pain during a period of two weeks. When he becomes physically addicted, they detoxify him & he goes on with his life without any problem. However, those with the disease of addiction, have addictive personalities & are unable to just stop with no problems… we were addicted long before we used. Removing the drug from the addict is only removing a symptom of the disease.


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The following questions you are to write about on a separate sheet of paper & return to your sponsor:

What does it mean to "admit" something?
What is the disease of addiction?
Why is being clean not enough?
How was my life unmanageable in my addiction?
How is my life unmanageable in my recovery?
Who managed my life when using & who manages my life in recovery?
How was I powerless over my addiction when using?
How am I powerless in my recovery?
What are the benefits of accepting powerlessness over my addiction?
How do I apply the First Step in my life?
How are the N.A. Steps different than any other 12 Step program?
Am I willing to accept the Steps as a way of life?
What is the principle of Step One?

Grant Me The Serenity... Tools for Recovery > N.A. Step Working Guides

[stickmonkey]

these where the old n.a. worksheets

[stickmonkey]

i normaly get my sponsees to read this worksheet every day
and to outline the first step in the basic text,in a way of telling on there disease.
especialy about writing about rationalizations,justifications...etc,getting them to use a dictionary.
control or surender.....
i get them to take there time on this step

[stickmonkey]

they also read the step from the basic text daily,and from it works how and why once a week.
misunderstanding this step leads to death .
they need to take time,
learn to live this step

[stickmonkey]

"We admitted that we were powerless over our addiction, that our lives had
become unmanageable."

There is nothing that interferes so absolutely with the NA recovery process and leads to relapse more than having an incomplete understanding of the First Step. While this may not apply to everyone who may come to us for help, it definitely applies to all addicts seeking recovery in NA. Many people have problems other than the disease of addiction and what little help we may have to offer them comes from the fact that we have learned to care for humanity and have learned something about living life on life's terms. We have also learned however, that in N.A. our focus must remain on recovery from the disease of addiction and to stay away from all other matters.

The First Step gives us a way out of the self-centeredness of our disease. No longer must we obsessively defend our errors or compulsively try to handle problems that are beyond our control. There is no question that we were deliberately destructive to ourselves as our addiction progressed. This is not because we like the way that we had become but because the disease had rendered us disabled. Our disability stems from our inability to recall our own experience accurately or to benefit from the experience of others. This form of self-deception limits our ability to be accurate in our perception of reality. Some of us have refrained from major decision making all together when we first got clean in order to give ourselves time to recuperate. This can free us at times from many of the pressures that sometimes add to our initial confusion about recovery. We must take care however, not to continue this practice beyond its intended purpose. From the beginning, we start catching up with what we've been missing due to our disability.

Until we learn to identify with other addicts in recovery, sometimes all we can do is listen to the First Step. We can't surrender until we understand this Step and we cannot understand it until we cross the line into identification with other addicts. We learn to take the suggestions given to us by members with more recovery experience. We begin to read, study, and to ask questions. We share with others in order to rid ourselves of untold reservations. We do everything we can to acquire the knowledge of the reality that we have a disease and that alone, we are doomed. Once we are able to do this, we hear the First Step differently. No longer do we hear others only admit their helplessness and their inability to live happily. We begin to hear, see and feel the ‘We’ of NA. We can honestly say, "We admitted we were powerless over our addiction and our lives had become unmanageable." We feel like one among the many because this is NA. We don't have to do this Step alone.

Most of our members have experienced a curious fact in active addiction. Many times when we felt our strongest, we seem to have created some of our worst problems. Many of these problems have almost killed us or at the very least, ruined our lives. We were under the illusion that we were powerful, when we actually lacked any ability to do much more than simply force our own will upon certain situations. At other times, we felt weak and full of uncertainty. During these times when we had lost enough, we were able to admit our need for help on some level and began to regain our lost energy. Finally, putting these two realizations together, we came to the admission of the First Step: "We admitted we were powerless over our addiction and our lives had become unmanageable." Then we were able to begin the recovery process that goes on forever, unless we interrupt it by becoming ‘powerful’ and limiting our ability to receive help.

Most of us have said, "Tell me how it's done. Show me what to do. I believe you can do it but I'm afraid to even try." We have discovered, in NA, people very much like ourselves who are doing much better than we ever thought possible for ourselves. We wondered how; if we see ourselves in them, could they do so well? We saw them take on tasks that seemed impossible to us and we could barely hold back our negative comments. We expect them to fail. Sometimes, we didn't hold back and gave them all the reasons they shouldn't even try. They simply looked at us lovingly and continued with what they were doing to successful completion. As our recovery grows, we become familiar with the fact that the rules and limitations that applied to us while loaded are out of date. We are no longer trying to function in a dazed condition. We have the stimulation of our meetings and of the Fellowship. New ideas and positive values replace our negative expectations.

On the feeling level, we learn to catch ourselves just before we reach the state of obsession. When we feel our minds click ‘off’ and we move forward quickly without knowing where we are going, we can do the mental equivalent of ‘sitting down’. It is likely that no one will be there to see us and won't even know of our experience unless we tell them. We have learned that almost anything, even very important things, can wait five minutes. Cooling off and giving ourselves time to reconsider doesn't mean that we can't decide to continue with something. It just gives us a slight edge over our tenderness and sensitivity to life on life's terms. Very often, we find that there is no need to go any further. We can say, "I think I'll let God handle this one." Then new ideas, people to call and all sorts of solution directed things start happening. No one knows if these things would have eventually occurred if we had not prayed but all of us can recall the times when we didn't pray and remember what followed.

We find ourselves surrounded by constant reminders or "triggers" from the past. Sometimes these reminders take forms that we don't generally recognize. A physical anchor is something that replays past experiences in the present situation when activated by some form of personal contact. Key words or phrases, tones of voice, touches and any other unique sensory input charged with emotional or automatic associations can activate these anchors. For instance, when someone touches the side of our neck while speaking to us, we generally listen differently. Loud or abrasive tones of voice may cause us not to hear the words spoken. The picture of a scolding parent or other authority figure may come to mind and the feelings of wanting to escape punishment may exclude all other thoughts in our minds. Much potential for our personal improvement is restricted by these ‘anchors’. Learning more about our personal anchors and associations can help us step free of reflexive actions that may no longer have a function in our lives. Intense fear, shame or anger for no good reason are indications that you have anchors embedded below your field of view. Surrendering to our disease must spread throughout our lives. Frequently, when we take away the uselessly expended energy, the so-called problem falls apart for lack of cohesiveness. We find that the pressure we have been supplying to correct something totally beyond our control provided the energy to power the problem. Without surrender, our recovery would quickly grow stale because we would find ourselves merely reciting yesterday's lessons. Part of surrender is acknowledging our part in limiting our lives. We screwed-up because it was the only way that we knew to limit or prevent the harm we would otherwise be doing. Like an old phono record with a bad scratch, we get stuck repeating the same line. The damage we do is real. Our perceptions are so confused and our appearances so misleading that we need each other in recovery to work our way out of the maze of active addiction. The old-timers just smile and say, "Easy does it." Don’t they know that ‘easy' is hard for us? Remember that you are not unique because this uneasiness seems to come to most addicts frequently.

All our old habits need examination in recovery. We tend to allow the habitual behavior to form and can go on for years without reconsidering our original sources of information. We may not recall the exact goals and concerns we had in mind when we developed this recovery habit. We fail to question how we might be capable of a better response now that we are older in recovery! This is part of our Eleventh Step. To begin anew in recovery, an addict must periodically go through and reconsider their ‘habits’. This is especially true when faced with those habits acquired or developed while we were in active addiction. These ‘habits’ tend to reproduce the environment in which they originated. For instance, ‘red or blue flashing lights’ may trigger evasive behavior if we have ever been on the run from the police, even when we have done nothing wrong. The wonder of recovery is that we no longer need to duck our heads and go the other way.

Like many of our other ideas, we find our ideas about success change. We had other values in our using days and most of the time we were just moving forward to our next using-spree or getting over our last one. While we were using our, ‘success’ was simply a matter of, staying out of trouble but not out of drugs! Likewise, success in recovery may simply mean ‘just staying abstinent and going to meetings’ for many of us, in the beginning. Unfortunately, quite a few of us remain at this point for an extremely long period and find ourselves trapped in a state of complacency. Defining clean as ‘not using" allows the concept of "staying clean" to remain our first measure of success. Working on our recovery with the Steps should most definitely be included in any list that we make of our successes. Maintaining our conscious contact with the God of our understanding, however, must become the ultimate measure of our success. This allows us to not only to get clean physically but also to get clean mentally, and spiritually. We learn about the benefits of living by the spiritual principles gained because of this conscious contact. We begin to practice honesty, service to others, and learn the meaning of unconditional love, even for those unable to love themselves. Other meaningful goals in life, such as the accomplishment of getting an academic degree, the ideal job or completing a course of study, may also become measures of our success but should never be mistaken for success in and of themselves. Material gain is another area some have mistaken as being successful. While these things may come because of successful recovery, successful recovery cannot be gauged by material or intellectual gain. Successful recovery is a spiritual state free from obsession and compulsion.

Feeling a sense of loss over being unable to live up to some commitment or goal may give us new ideas about failure. Curiosity about what our real boundaries are may replace those 'all or nothing' feelings that are so typical of addicts in active addiction. When we grant ourselves the right to fail when we first take on a goal that may seem be too much for us, we free ourselves of the fear of failure. Clean, we have to learn how to appreciate the courage we show simply by attempting to go beyond any of our old restrictions. Unrealistic expectations are too often just another form of unmanageability for us.

Reacting to the emotions and perceptions of others and how they think we are doing may seem to be a problem. This perception at times however allows us to think things over or to consult others before we take any responsive action. The insight and ability to question our old values is part of our conscious contact with a Higher Power. What was once a cloudy pool of raw emotions and prejudice settles down at some point into a clear stream of awareness for most of us. No longer must we be at the mercy of our old false impressions and undefined perceptions. We have found this to be the keynote of our practical approach to spirituality.

As long as we identify with our problems and fail to see that they are part of the disease, we will lack a healthy perspective. We acknowledge that we are overly sensitive to what is happening around us. Addicts seem to suffer from an inability to leave well enough alone. If you add our desire to know, understand, control and take stands on things, even if we often fail to get our facts straight, then our curious dance with life becomes clear. Our need to control limits our freedom. We somehow forget the confusion that we felt when first we began using drugs in earnest. A noticeable loss of memory, disorientation and an inability to perform certain tasks is a common occurrence at the beginning of recovery, even if we excelled at them in the past. The lifting of the drug-induced fog is the beginning of our re-introduction to life.

Our sight, hearing and ability to feel are still under the influence of our disease when we first get clean. We hear the slogans: "God is good all the time," "Get God and get going!," "Take it Easy", "Don't leave before the miracle happens!" and "Keep coming back!," "One is too many, a thousand never enough." These and other sayings help us get out of the self-centered role and allow us to learn ways to readjust to life on life's terms.

The recovery environment supports life. It provides for our needs as addicts. Trouble has to do with intruding on the freedoms and rights of others. Most of all we harmed ourselves. Our disease limits our ability to see the connection between our actions and the result of those actions. Recovery is the realignment of our inner reality with our outward environment. Useless struggles fall away and life resumes it's movement toward an interesting and productive future. Finally, we can accept happiness because it no longer feels like an illusion. If we are indeed addicts, we can benefit immediately from what has been learned about recovery and living clean in NA.

The disease of addiction has had millions of years to evolve and we are among the first generation of recovering addicts in history. At first, it all seems very natural to us and our initial experience is mostly positive. We accept the idea that the people in the meetings really are addicts who have found a new way to live. Next, we may begin to experience doubt and feel that it is all too good to be true. We find ourselves trapped by our fear of change and look for ways to manage without it. Amazingly, at times we forget that the disease generates an attitude of fault finding, hurt feelings, and tells us that we've grown as much as we can in NA. Each of us has gone through this cycle repeatedly in recovery. We remember where we came from and get on with the process of surrender and growth only to eventually resume some of our old habits. If our desire to stay clean is sincere, we will discover what we are doing in time to avoid relapse. If we lose our desire, even for a short time, we may relapse. Then all we can hope for is to find our way back again to a path of recovery.

Our word choices and definitions may directly effect our conscious actions. One of the benefits of surrender is that we can suspend having to act on those impulses rooted in active addiction. Going to meetings and spending time with other addicts in recovery allows us to debrief ourselves from active addiction. We can redefine some of our old ideas to fit the reality of the clean life before us. In recovery, we seek a restoration to sanity. In the early days of recovery, we learn a definition of sanity as ‘my way didn't work so I've got to try someone else's way’. As time goes by, even more trust is required. We learn that working the program requires total acceptance of others. At some point in time, it has to go even beyond that. We re-define insanity as ‘anything that limits us spiritually’. If we’re holding onto past bitterness, we have to come to a better definition and application of amends. We must separate the amends that we owe to ourselves from the amends that we owe others. We must be able to come to some sort of inner peace about the past.

This change allows us to get new outcomes by discovering new ways to do things. In the words of one member,

"Today we are grateful for this Step - it means hope, commitment, honesty, release. The major thing about this Step is its difference from those of any other 12-step program: it addresses the disease of addiction rather than a substance. Until we understand that, we will never have a grasp on this important focus and will never have a commitment to NA. Spiritual principles are universal. NA is the only program we know of that allows us this type of universal freedom of understanding.

"If you have problems or doubts - just call your sponsor and ask another member for help. Try not to get discouraged or believe you're not doing enough. Don't limit your questions to any individual. Talk to everyone, listen carefully to everything. Know that your understanding of this Step and this Program will be yours. It must be yours for it to work. Make it yours - like an old favorite pair of jeans or a warm comforter.

"Please trust however, that we wouldn't ask you to surrender in Step One if it were an awful experience. Every Step has wonderful new insights for us and we want you to have the same experience. If you begin to feel angry, depressed, or rebellious, you should talk to someone you trust or go to a meeting. Thank you for being part of our recovery. We love you, unconditionally."

It is OK to pray, even if you are uncertain or doubtful about your belief. Many of us tried praying even thought we didn't believe it would work - and it worked.

Many of us looked up words in a dictionary to gain personal understanding. Words like powerless, unmanageable we and so on. If our way of thinking that got us into trouble, we have to change our way of thinking. Sometimes we don't really understand our own thinking because we don't really understand some of the words we use. Many of us can use a simple dictionary to better understand our thinking, one word at a time. Remember to keep it simple, know what you think.

Write about what's going on in your life, and problems you are facing today. We have found that writing about what is going on has helped us reveal our powerlessness and unmanageability. We think back to things we have done to hurt ourselves, considering everything, not just the drugs.



4. What things have you done in the past to hurt yourself? (List everything. NOT just the drugs.).
5. Do you still do any of these things? List them.
6. Why do you continue to do these things?
7. Have you ever tried to stop doing these things? What happened?
8. How have these things made your life unmanageable?

a) Do you want to stop doing these things now?
b) What are you willing to do differently this time?

9. Can you do any of these things even once? (Explain)

a) Is there any situation you can think of when doing any of these things would be appropriate or acceptable?
b) Name them and write about "conditions" that might make them "OK."

10. What are "reservations"? (Define)

a) Do you feel like you have any? (HINT: We all have some type of reservations at some level)
b) What are they? (HINT: Check your answers in question 9, a, b.)

11. What is surrender? Is it an event? (Define)
12. We are not responsible for our disease, but we are responsible for our recovery. Write about what this means to you.

a) Define "Responsibility."
b) What is your responsibility in this Step?

13. In "How it Works," it's written that "We believe that the sooner we face our problems within our society, in everyday living, just that much faster do we become acceptable, responsible, and productive members of that society..." What does this quote mean and how does it apply to this step? Note the word "that" in relationship to "society" and explain why it’s in this quote. (HINT: pay close attention to "our" as related to "problems" and "society".)

a) What is recovery? (HINT-Basic Text -Chapter 5, "What Can I Do?" read the second paragraph after italics)
b) "Social acceptability does not equal recovery." What does this mean?
c) What do you think being Socially Acceptable means?

14. Write about ‘control’ and ‘management’ in relation to your life.

a) Can you control a substance or behavior?
b) Can you control other people?

15. What is willpower? Does it work with our disease?
16. What does ‘life on life's terms' mean to you?

a) Describe "Life."
b) In what ways do you feel that ‘your life’ is limited or unlimited?

17. What did you tell yourself to justify your using? How do you eliminate those justifications? (Beware of scolding yourself!)
18. "We have found we had no choice except to completely change our old ways of thinking or go back to using." What does this mean?

a) What is change? (Define)
b) How do we change in NA?

19. What is "acceptance"? (Define)

a) What have you had to "accept" about life?
b) What have you accepted about the disease of addiction?

20. What is "willingness"? (Define)

a) Write about what you were "willing" to do in order to use?
b) Are you willing to go to those lengths for your recovery?

21. Step One means that we do not have to use, and this is a great freedom." What does this mean? Define ‘use’ and ‘freedom’. (Tradition Three and the last page of "Why are we here?" will help.)
22. It is not where we have been that counts, but where we are going. Make a list of your goals and how this Step relates to those goals?
23. We do not just say the words of this Step, we learn to live them. How will you know when you're ‘living’ the Steps?
24. What is ‘hope’? How have you found "meaning and purpose in life"?
25. In a dictionary, look up the meaning and define (in your own words) each word in the Serenity Prayer.
26. Call your Sponsor!

We know that ‘inner peace’ can't come from other people but we learn that it can come through them. We each act as instruments of God by showing concern for others. This is how we begin to feel long lost ties are being re-established. We feel the need to seek new possibilities as we admit our powerlessness. Running away, we only carry our problems with us. True escape requires active change.

[3.8.07]

[stickmonkey]

this is an awesome first step worksheet from the nawol sight
they arent as money hungry as na world services,and wont try to charge us for steps they took from another fellowship.
i know greg p,jimmy k,and bill w are turning in there graves.

[caressa]

Thank you for sharing this. I posted a NA Step guide a long time ago, not sure if it is still posted on the boards.

[stickmonkey]

if it was the aproved na step guide na world services is too cheap.
if they dont get money they wont help..........
thats why the old giudes and the na way are awesome