jft for july 6

[stickmonkey]

July 6 -------- "I'm sorry"

"The main thing the Eighth Step does for us is to help build awareness
that, little by little, we are gaining new attitudes about ourselves
and how we deal with other people."

Basic Text, p.38

To say "I'm sorry" probably isn't such a foreign idea to most of us.
In our active addiction, it may have been a very familiar phrase. We
were always telling people how sorry we were, and were probably deeply
surprised when someone, tired of our meaningless apologies, responded
with, "You sure are. In fact, you're the sorriest excuse for." That
may have been our first clue that an "I'm sorry" didn't really make
any difference to those we harmed, especially when we both knew that
we'd just do the same thing again.

Many of us thought that making amends would be another "I'm sorry."
However, the action we take in those steps is entirely different.
Making amends means to make changes and, above all, to make the
situation right. If we stole money, we don't just say "I'm sorry. I'll
never do it again now that I'm clean". We pay the money back. If we
neglected or abused our families, we don't just apologize. We begin to
treat them with respect.

Amending our behavior and the way we treat ourselves and others is
the whole purpose of working the steps. We're no longer just "sorry";
we're responsible.

Just for today: I accept responsibility for myself and my recovery.
Today, I will amend some particular thing I'm sorry for.

pg. 196

Just For Today Daily Meditation is the property of Narcotics Anonymous ©

[caressa]

Sorry, doesn't work for me. For too many years, I heard to all to often. An apology is okay when heart felt and with the right motive, yet someone in active addiction, isn't capable of this. I heard a long-timer say many years ago, "The Steps are in order for a reason, you can't be truely honest with yourself about this Step until you have worked on the rest.

I was told that I couldn't work this Step to the fullest, until I could guarantee the person I was making the amend to, that I wouldn't do it again. To the best of my ability, one day at a time, I heal, I do get better and I heal. Part of that healing is letting go of the past. I make mistakes, but I'm not one.