Post by stickmonkey on Jul 17, 2007 9:27:17 GMT -5
July 17 ------- Using our "using dreams"
"Do we fully accept the fact that our every attempt to stop using or
to control our using failed?"
Basic Text, p. 18
The room is dark. Your forehead is bathed in cold sweat. Your heart is
racing. You open your eyes, sure that you've just blown your clean
time. You've had a "using dream", and it was just like being there-the
people, the places, the routine, the sick feeling in your stomach,
everything. It takes a few moments to realize it was just a nightmare,
that it didn't actually happen. Slowly, you settle down and return to
sleep.
The next morning is the time to examine what really happened the night
before. You didn't use last night-but how close are you to using
today? Do you have any illusions about your ability to control your
using? Do you know, without a doubt, what would happen once you took
the first drug? What stands between you and a real, live relapse? How
strong is your program? Your relationships with your sponsor, your
home group, and your Higher Power?
Using dreams don't necessarily indicate a hole in our program; for a
drug addict, there's nothing more natural than to dream of using
drugs. Some of us think of using dreams as gifts from our Higher
Power, vividly reminding us of the insanity of active addiction and
encouraging us to strengthen our recovery. Seen in that light, we can
be grateful for using dreams. Frightening as they are, they can prove
to be great blessings-if we use them to reinforce our recovery.
Just for today: I will examine my personal program. I will talk with
my sponsor about what I find, and seek ways to strengthen my recovery.
pg. 207
Just For Today Daily Meditation is the property of Narcotics Anonymous ©
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.