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Post by bunnypie on Nov 20, 2015 3:42:46 GMT -5
I try my best to be grateful. I even got an orange car to remind myself on a daily basis "orange ya glad?" I get very angry and despise people who are NOT grateful when I am making an effort to do something nice for them. An incident happened yesterday when I was chairing the Thursday morning step meeting. I did the format out of order and a woman I can barely tolerate pipes up and says "you forgot to do the reading of the Daily Reflections" I told her I was getting to that and she said "you are doing it out of sequence" I have 31 years of sobriety and have chaired more meetings then she has ever attended with her 3 years of sobriety!!! I was over whelmed at the arrogance & criticism!!! I really despise a know it all who has NO gratitude. I got up and said "you know so d**n much you chair the meeting" and I stormed out of there. I am grateful I didn't smack her on the way out!!! I am grateful that I didn't have to drink over it but very ungrateful that is happened---Bunnypie  |
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Post by majestyjo on Nov 20, 2015 20:27:39 GMT -5
Not everyone is grateful, it is something we need to find within ourselves. I personally wouldn't have given her the power by walking out of the room. I have forgotten things, skipped over things, but when necessary, have gone and done it. What does it matter if it is out of order? I don't mind being reminded that I missed something, it is my error, but it is not a big deal. As the saying goes, just because I make a mistake, doesn't mean I am one. There was a time in my life I couldn't think that way, I would beat myself up and call myself all kinds of names. I had a life motto, "I can't stand stupidity, especially within myself." I am human, but even that I didn't accept gratefully, I am perfect you know. Thank God for progress not perfection. Just because I have 24 years in recovery, it is one day at a time. My sponsor who had 44 years of recovery said, "If you woke up before 7 a.m. this morning, you have more sobriety than I have. I think I was about 5 years sober at the time. A lot of people though I had years in recovery. What I had was a lot of meetings and living and working the program one day at a time.
I went to go to an NA meeting across the street from me tonight. I have been planning to go, but as usual the body had other ideas. I rang the buzzer to get in and there was no answer. I guess the meeting has closed, it was on my NA meeting list.
I just try to put some gratitude in my attitude. The same sponsor told me to find 5 things to be grateful EVERY day.
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Post by bunnypie on Nov 20, 2015 23:23:36 GMT -5
Hey Jo!---I am so grateful for your reply and especially the line about "just because I made a mistake doesn't mean I am one" I have had a smoldering resentment against this woman for a long time. She is a herion addict and chairs the Monday morning meet all high on methadone. She spills coffee, turns over chairs, and drops papers all over. I reported her to the President of the AA club saying it was a slap in the face to sober people to have her chair the meeting all high and sloppy. He told me that as long as she has the desire to not drink it was okay. I have been infuriated about this and when she had the audacity to criticize how I run a meeeting well I got very angry and saw red!!! YES! I am definitely human and can only take so much......Bunnypie
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Post by majestyjo on Nov 21, 2015 0:50:59 GMT -5
Sounds like she need a lot of prayer. Hope she keeps coming back. The get put on methadone to come off of heroin, only to find they have a new addiction. I had a room mate when I went into recovery, she decided to go back out so she could go on methadone. The counsellor said, "She just wants an excuse to use." I hadn't been knowingly around people on hard drugs, so it was a new experience for me.
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Post by bunnypie on Nov 21, 2015 7:05:06 GMT -5
I understand being an alcoholic/junkie is a horrible thing to deal with but Don't chair a meeting when you are all high on methadone! Sit at the table and listen and let someone who is actually sober run the meeting!!! I consider it a slap in the face and a huge insult for a chair person to be all sloppy & high!!! How can they be an example of sobriety when they are NOT sober??? I just makes me real angry that the club would allow that!!! She is sending a terrible message that you don't have to take the program serious!!! I am so glad there are plenty of other meetings I can go to where there is true honest sobriety!!!!!!!
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Post by majestyjo on Nov 22, 2015 19:16:39 GMT -5
When we had the group, Freedom of Recovery, we had guys and gals chairing at 3 months. She shouldn't have chaired when she was high, but it is my opinion that she should have been stopped before she began. It isn't her fault, she is using. Someone should have been responsible. She needed to be told in a good way even if she was told it is not our policy in this group to allow people to chair when the have been using or are young in sobriety.
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Post by bunnypie on Nov 22, 2015 22:55:54 GMT -5
She was told and she ignored it!!! The request was NOT inforced and it disgusts me that she is allowed to be "self will run riot" The club will have your car towed in a heart beat if you are parked more the 15 min. after a meeting is ended. The priorities are real screwed up! I think is time for me to look for different meetings to go to. An old timer once told me that all you need to start a new meeting is a resentment and a coffee pot!!!-----Bunnypie
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Post by majestyjo on Nov 23, 2015 6:49:01 GMT -5
I got told the same thing a long time ago. I gave a woman a choice of staying or leaving, she kept interrupting other people's sharing, she was a nurse and wanted to tell everyone what to do, when she couldn't stay sober her self for any length of time. She chose to leave. Every time I see her I say hello, more often than not it is on the bus and not at a meeting. She was disrupting the meeting and other member who were there were going to leave as a result of her action. As a group, we are responsible for carrying the message of recovery. Not a false message, and we need to be there for those who are willing to work the program.
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Post by bunnypie on Nov 23, 2015 8:24:49 GMT -5
Hi Jo----Amen! So Be It! There is a saying in AA that each group is as strong as its weakest link. I was the weak link by letting personality interefere with principles and also there was nobody else in the group willing to back me up and tell her to shut up and let the meeting continue. I ran into one of the people who was a that meeting. She is a long timer name Mary Jane. I went up to her and apoligized for walking out on the meeting and she told me to "Calm Down & Let it go" She didn't want to hear about how this junkie/alcoholic was heckling me and that I was the one with the problem. I said okay and turned away. I stayed for the rest of the meeting on Sunday but realized that no matter how much good I do it will be criticized and taken for granted. Because I have 31 years sober I am expected to be made of stone and not let stuff bother me and crazed alcoholic junkies are allowed to be self will run riot!!!-----Bunnypie  |
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Post by majestyjo on Nov 24, 2015 6:15:28 GMT -5
You don't have to be made of stone my friend, perhaps you should pray for some compassion and be grateful that you are no longer there. We are human and don't always do as we or others think we should do or be.
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Post by bunnypie on Nov 24, 2015 6:45:42 GMT -5
Thanks Jo!---I just am so disgusted that I am told to calm down and let go & Let God. The other person is allowed to go on with her screwed up behavior and I am the one getting scolded!!! I need to grow a thick skin and not let it bother me. I do okay until the next time and it stirs up all the old stuff from before. It is like when you throw another log on the fire and it starts to blaze again! My sponsor has told me that just the fact I am aware of this is a step in the right direction. jusT foR todaY=TRY and that is all I can do!!!!------Bunnypie  |
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Post by majestyjo on Nov 24, 2015 7:41:30 GMT -5
Perhaps if you look at it as she is acting out in her disease, and though she is at the meeting, she is not willing to get clean and sober. As they say, when we have a resentment, we pray for them for two weeks asking that they get what we would wish for ourselves. I was told to pray for their health, prosperity, and all that they need in order to get sober. I my sponsor said to ask that they get a spiritual awakening, so they can't continue doing what they are doing.
Hugs!
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Post by bunnypie on Nov 24, 2015 10:46:22 GMT -5
Yes! everything you are saying is correct. It is easy to say and hard to do at least for me anyway. I ran across a formula that someone wrote down for me and again it is easy to say and hard to do. The formula is I/E=S that translates out to Intelligence over Emotions equal Serenity. My emotions get real strong and cloud out my intelligence. When that happens I lose any serenity I have. I realize serenity is hard to come by and I shouldn't give it away so cheap!!!-------Bunnypie
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Post by majestyjo on Nov 26, 2015 0:24:31 GMT -5
I like the one, "Just because I have a feeling, I don't have to act out over it." That was what kept me sick and in denial for a long time. Act, react! When I find myself acting out in my dis-ease, I know that I need the Serenity Prayer, and as they say in Al-Anon, my recovery isn't about the other person, it is all about me and my actions and reactions. Hugs.
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Post by bunnypie on Nov 26, 2015 2:27:40 GMT -5
Alanon also has a saying "how important is it?" It seemed real important at the time now it is just a regret. I regret that I let this person get me so mad that I got up and stormed out of a meeting. Frank Sinatra once said "regrets I've had a few..." One of my early sponsors told me that song by Frank Sinatra was the theme song of the alcoholic!!!
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Post by majestyjo on Nov 26, 2015 2:38:20 GMT -5
I heard that if we didn't have regrets and remorse, we wouldn't be alcoholics. Accept your humanness my friend.
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Post by bunnypie on Nov 26, 2015 2:43:06 GMT -5
Thank you for those words of wisdom! I heard a great explanation about being human! "We are not humans having a spiritual experience we are spirits having a human experience!  ------Bunnypie |
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Post by majestyjo on Nov 26, 2015 2:52:18 GMT -5
Like, I heard Spiritual being trying to walk an Earthly walk.
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Post by bunnypie on Nov 26, 2015 3:08:01 GMT -5
YES! it is suppose to be a "learning experience" LOL I love the acronym AFGO=another freaking growth opportunity!!!
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Post by majestyjo on Aug 7, 2016 2:37:12 GMT -5
So many times lately, I have found myself saying to my friend, "Who is not in the program, "I am so glad that I don't walk in their shoes. I wouldn't want to be them when they meet their maker."
So grateful that this is a one day at a time program.
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------Bunnypie
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.