Post by majestyjo on Mar 9, 2016 8:20:12 GMT -5
"Emotional Intelligence."
I found that I needed to go to meetings and connect with others in order to maintain my Emotional Sobriety. Sobriety means soundness of mind. This disease is mental, emotional, spiritual and physical and I had to apply the 12 Steps and my program to all areas of my dis-ease.
It took me a long time to allow myself to do tears. My first husband demanded that stop using them, because I used them as a weapon. I had to give myself permission to feel my feelings. I couldn't heal until I did. I had to feel them, recognize them for what they were, and then and only then could I heal. You can't change what you don't know. You can't know what you have never been taught. You can't heal if you stuff everything and it is important not to substitute other substance, it keeps you sick and still in your disease. Substitution doesn't work, it becomes your new drug of choice and will take you back to where you have two or more active addictions. That is what happened to me.
It is very much a day at a time for me. We do recover from that hopeless state of mind and body, but our disease is just waiting for us to give it an opening and it will slip in and our stinking thinking, can take us back to old behaviours, habits, and thoughts.
I used to hear at meetings that feelings were neither right or wrong, they just "were." Unfortunately where I got sober when someone would share a feeling they were having many people would try to convince them their feeling was the wrong one. All emotions are important but in my case when I came into AA "anger" was the most prevalent one. The "Big Book" says that "resentment is the number one offender, it destroys more alcoholics than anything else." That emotion in me was totally running amok. In the process of getting sober and then experiencing "emotional sobriety" I analyzed the things that contributed to more and more "emotional sobriety." Being more open minded and willing to take suggestions was fundamental. I certainly did not believe that the promises would come true for me when I came in. I was not willing to pray for my enemies when I came in. I was not willing to go to any length to the degree I am willing to today. I could not see how I was responsible for my own thinking, actions and happiness as well. I did not conceive of the principle of doing something "without the expectation of getting anything in return, even a thank you." Today I can laugh at the drop of a hat or cry at most sappy stuff. I like that about me. I like being fully alive. Yes life is hard and there are many hard things to deal with and sometimes it just plain hurts like hell. Alcohol was a way to "numb out" and supposedly forget about all those nasty feelings. It never worked. Those feelings were there whether drunk or sober. Any benefit that alcohol gave as being a social lubricant or a reveling tool has been gone a long time too. Today I know that "anger is the dubious luxury of normal men." I looked up that word "dubious." It means "doubtful." That means that even "normal men" probably cannot handle anger very well. Enjoy the journey, one day at a time...
Anonymous
Anonymous
It took me a long time to allow myself to do tears. My first husband demanded that stop using them, because I used them as a weapon. I had to give myself permission to feel my feelings. I couldn't heal until I did. I had to feel them, recognize them for what they were, and then and only then could I heal. You can't change what you don't know. You can't know what you have never been taught. You can't heal if you stuff everything and it is important not to substitute other substance, it keeps you sick and still in your disease. Substitution doesn't work, it becomes your new drug of choice and will take you back to where you have two or more active addictions. That is what happened to me.
It is very much a day at a time for me. We do recover from that hopeless state of mind and body, but our disease is just waiting for us to give it an opening and it will slip in and our stinking thinking, can take us back to old behaviours, habits, and thoughts.
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.