Hello-new here-wreckage of my past

[tabbekins]

As a result of my addiction, I have to go to jail for 90 days. I have NEVER been to jail. I had 17months clean & relapsed & overdosed. Police were involved & I got tickets for paraphernalia, etc. Well, I am back in the program, back in IOP, have my sponsor- same one I had before! The police wanted the name, phone number of where I got my stuff. I gave the name, but he changed his phone number the day I o.d.'d, and I told them that & they don't believe me also I was told by my sponsor to delete any phone numbers, so I did. When I went to court the detective & prosecutor said to the judge "well we think she's being truthful, but she refused to help us." So BOOM-90 days!! I'm angry because after court the judge said "things could change if u cooperate" & the prosecutor said even old phone numbers would help. Well, I WANT to help- there are people on my street that is where I got this stuff I o.d.'d on NOT from my dealer. But I don't want to go to detective & say "I lied- I got it from a neighbor & her guys name is "Whatever"! Then they will drag neighbor into this mess & I don't believe for one second the judge will change my sentence. So I decided to bite the bullet & do the time but I am terrified. A little about me- I am 61yrs.old, have had periods of sobriety- longest was 5yrs. Been in treatment 4 times(this includes my IOP that I am in now)I was strictly alcohol until 2003 when I was prescribed oxycontin. I couldn't drink when I was on that because I would throw up so I quit my beer & went to opiates. From oxycontin I got hooked on heroin & that's when I started having major consequences - arrested for first time in 2007, treatment & probation. Back to AA. Stayed clean til 2013, when I picked up again, arrested again for o.D.ing, treatment again then picked up again in 20015- had two more o.d.'s- arrested on the second one & Judge is sick of me. It's a suburb & we've had same judge for years & years!! So I thought he was going to say treatment, but he said 90days. So that's that! Input anyone? Anybody been in Cuyahoga County jail in Ohio? I am sober, but terrified of jail!Thank you?!

[majestyjo]

Thank you for sharing. Sounds like you have had a rough journey. I use to go into the jails and put on meetings. You might inquire if there are meetings, no matter what fellowship, the 12 Steps are the basis for all recovery programs.

I never went to jail, but I was a prisoner of my own mind. I stayed in an abusive marriage for 7 years. My previous marriage was both physical and mental. He was running around, and I finely realized he was introducing me to the women he was bedding. For me, it was looking at the root cause as to why I picked up. I was told if you don't deal with what bothered you in the past, you are setting yourself up for relapse. A drug is a drug. I didn't come into recovery until I was 49. I just turned 74 on the 1st of April. I always said, "That is my excuse for the way I am until I found out I was an alcoholic." I was also addicted to prescription pills. In today, I take what the doctor orders and if I don't like how they make me feel, I stop taking them. When you take a pill and wait for it to work, looking for that quick fix, then there is something wrong. With my thinking as well as the drug. That is what happened when I took a pill to quit smoking.

There is a lot of recovery material on the site. Please feel free to ask questions or respond to post new and old.