Post by Caressa2 on Jun 8, 2004 19:51:32 GMT -5
Tonight on my way home from detox, I shared with my friend about how grateful I was that I had found AA before I went to Adult Children of Alcoholics.
If I hadn't gone to AA first, I would have remained in my denial a lot longer and may never have entered into the rooms of recovery for myself.
At my first meeting, it was like "Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, which of us hurts the most of all!" I identified so much with what people shared, but I know that I would have taken it as an affirmation of my using, rather than the fact that I was a product of my environment.
My father was an alcoholic, my mother died as a result of her overeating, and I became an alcoholic and addict. In today, thanks to recovery, I know that they are not to blame, that I made my own choices, and that when I made the choice to stop, I couldn't, without the rooms of recovery.
Justification and rationalization darn near killed me, it kept me sick and in denial for a long, long time.
I was so grateful that I found out that alcohol wasn't the problem, it was but a symptom of my disease. My problem was an obsessive compulsive mind, a disease of perception, and one of denial that told me I was just "fine" and it was everyone else who had the problem not me, and if everyone just did what I thought they should, or acted the way that I knew the good Lord intended them to act, and if they would just not annoy me, and they would do as I say, then everything would just be just grand! LOL.
Sounds good in the telling, but in reality it is really sick! Thank God for the rooms of recovery and a second chance at life. Thank you for the give of self-honesty and the gift of forgiveness and grace.
If I hadn't gone to AA first, I would have remained in my denial a lot longer and may never have entered into the rooms of recovery for myself.
At my first meeting, it was like "Mirror, Mirror on the Wall, which of us hurts the most of all!" I identified so much with what people shared, but I know that I would have taken it as an affirmation of my using, rather than the fact that I was a product of my environment.
My father was an alcoholic, my mother died as a result of her overeating, and I became an alcoholic and addict. In today, thanks to recovery, I know that they are not to blame, that I made my own choices, and that when I made the choice to stop, I couldn't, without the rooms of recovery.
Justification and rationalization darn near killed me, it kept me sick and in denial for a long, long time.
I was so grateful that I found out that alcohol wasn't the problem, it was but a symptom of my disease. My problem was an obsessive compulsive mind, a disease of perception, and one of denial that told me I was just "fine" and it was everyone else who had the problem not me, and if everyone just did what I thought they should, or acted the way that I knew the good Lord intended them to act, and if they would just not annoy me, and they would do as I say, then everything would just be just grand! LOL.
Sounds good in the telling, but in reality it is really sick! Thank God for the rooms of recovery and a second chance at life. Thank you for the give of self-honesty and the gift of forgiveness and grace.
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.