Serenity

[lildee]

Serenity

When I have recognized the things I can change and have had the courage to do my footwork, I will find serenity quietly sailing into my mind.

So often what takes the place of serenity in our minds is the constant chatter of internal conflict. We have internalized the voices of our parents and other authority figures. Each time we act or make a statement that aligns us with ourselves, we are likely to set off those voices. They tell us that we are unworthy, stupid, inadequate, ill prepared, or setting ourselves up for a fall.

I work by taking one step at a time to change the things I can. When I have made a movement in a good direction and am still besieged by inner torment, I will not interpret my discomfort to mean I have taken the wrong initiative. I will look to the next piece of footwork and take strength from my relationship to a higher power. When I have done all that I can and know it is time to turn the rest over to my higher power, I will be amazed at the silence that will settle inside me. Such peace restores me.

[tankgirl]

Hi there

I read your post with interest this evening, and at first thought that the idea of serenity had absolutely zilch to do with me at the moment. My inner voices at the moment are shouting out 'loss loss loss!' - My alcoholic parents have both died, and I'm about 3 months from coming out of denial about my acoa past. It's been a rough few months. I lost my best friend, then I lost my boyfriend, who had a fling, surprising absolutely everybody. My brother is moving abroad in November - he's the only remaining family I am in touch with. And today, I was forced to re-home my dog, whom I can no longer bring to work with me - my bosses put a ban on pets. Now, normally, I would change my job. But with my partner recently gone, I have to make ends meet. Not many offices advocate dogs. Re-homed her to a family I will be able to contact to find out how she's doing. But I cannot begin to tell you how this has cut me up today. A big space on the floor where her bed used to be. No patter of paws. I felt like a nasty unfeeling abandoner today. But she was being consigned to a life alone at home all day, and some stints in kennels, where she hated. Well, I used to play down people's grief when they lost pets. Not now. I was sobbing most of the day. Serenity?

While I sat alone and cried (about her, about everything), I felt a hand on my shoulder, and a higher voice saying that she was ok, that she would be happy in her new place, and for me to get a hold because I was suffering ten times more than her. I dried my eyes and thanked a higher power for giving me a sense of peace. Long, long road I think. I've got some serious time on my own ahead. I pray for windows of serenity like this.

Love tankgirl

[Lin]

WOW tank girl!@ That voice and feeling that hand on your shoulder...it's AWESOME. I have a prayer card taped to by printer...

LORD, help me remember that nothing is going to happen to me today that you and I together can't handle.

The topic is SERENIty...and I ahve SERENITY prayer calds everywhere too.

When i foudn recovery I heard the word SERENITy and i never really ahd thought about it. I could only see it as the name of a panting or something like that. NOTHING to do with MY life. 11 1/2 years later i can tell you i was wrong. I FOUND serenity. I found it by working the steps, by staying in contact with my HP, by changing things I could( my actions, atticuted and reactions)

And once i got a taste of what I was seeing on the faces aroudn me, I wanted more.

I wont say I am serene every minute of the day, but I am more serene than NOT. And when i have the NON -serene moments they dont last long. I use my recovery tools and deal with them to get that peace back.

Great post Lildee!

LIN

[caressa]

Was just thinking about this and posting on this. I need to balance myself from within, learning to quiet the mind, and in the stillness pray and listen for the answers.

Serenity can be found amongst the chaos, It was such a gift to be able to detach, not take on other people's stuff, learn to let go of my own to my Higher Power. Not easy but something that took practiice, practice, practice.

Serenity is being at peace with myself. Self-acceptance and self-worth, and self-respect, and all those things that I discounted about myself because I didn't think I was worthy. The old tapes would play and for some reason the volumn seems to be so much louder when they played than the new ones I had made to replace them.

I must remember that I am the one with the access to the play button and the volumn control. I can also push pause, and make a decision to rewind and play them again or fast forward and skip them.

God grants me that Serenity. I need to remember to go to Him and ask for it.

[majestyjo]

Forgot that I could be so insightful. How easy I can forget! Maybe this is why they say, "Take what you need and put the rest on the shelf." My problem is that I don't like dusting. I need to go back and do a review because things so easily slip out of my mind in today.

[majestyjo]

Good read for these trying times