Friday October 7th, 2016 Chip Stubborn/Willing

[bunnypie]

I got a message on my voice mail that the MRI was good and I can schedule surgery for Tues or Thurs of next week. I am disturbed that they want to do other surgery while they are removing the tumor. I am stubborn about finding out details. I am willing to have them explain in detail exactly what is going to be done BEFORE I go under the knife. I am stubborn about this and will NOT have surgery until everything is totally clarified and explained.
I want this to be "one & done" and not have endless surgery. I am terrified enough about having surgery done once and my courage will run out if there has to be extra stuff done. The ignorant thoughtless nurse left a voice mail with some medical "mumbo jumbo" that I don't understand. I am going to have to be stubborn about getting it all explained. I am willing to listen what is said if they talk simple language. I am stubborn about having it translated to me. I am really disgusted with medical people. They had me get a chemo port surgically installed to do blood draws & IV's then yesterday
when I went for the MRI nobody in the hospital knew how to use it and they punched big holes in my arm. I have purple bruises because they had to do it their way and I have to suffer for it. Medical people really disgust me with the superior "my way or no way" attitude. My willingness to put up with this is really running short!!!!!------Bunnypie

[majestyjo]

Have always had the willingness since early recovery. When I couldn't find it, I prayed and asked for it. I got the willingness before I got the open mind and self-honesty.

A woman who worked in Central Office and had over 20 years in recovery, said that it takes 8 years for an alcoholic to get to a stage in their life where they could function like normal people can. There are a lot of people not in the program who could use the 12 Steps and Traditions. As they say, "Normal is a cycle on your washing machine." Can't say it is all it is cracked up to be. Sounds kind of boring to me. Not sure my son has accepted the fact that his mother isn't like a lot of 'normal' mothers and he just turned 50.

I am glad you got the results so quickly on your MRI. It is great that they can operate next week. Generally you have to wait weeks for surgery. You may find them slow, it sounds fast to me. I have been waiting about 3 months to see my heart specialist. The elevator in their building was broken. I got a call yester to say I can get in to see him on November 2nd. My heart has been acting up and a couple of times, I almost took myself off to the hospital. Part of my swelling is my heart and poor circulation, that is why they put me on a blood thinner so I wouldn't have a stroke. I personally would have preferred not knowing. I just want to live my life and when it is my time, I am out of here.

When I see someone with attitude I smile. I remind myself that it takes one to know one. The medical people are trained, they are often handicapped by paperwork and the powers that be, especially the nurses. They are so understaffed here, many leave Canada to go to the States because of better wages.

Continued prayers that all goes well.

[bunnypie]

I understand what you are saying. The handicap of paperwork and medical regulations probably does make them "cranky" I have put the medical people on a pedestal because they are educated and they have been helping me to beat a killer disease. I went to an early crotch of dawn meeting today at 7am and someone reminded me that they are just "practicing" medicine. They don't have it perfect!!! That was comforting & scary at the same time!!! My courage and willingness are running short. I was told that if I go longer then 2 weeks at the end of chemmo that the cancer will start to grow back...
It has been 8 days as of today and I am very anxious to be within that time frame dead line. I realize that everything is in God's time NOT my time but I have to say I am extremely concerned if everything will happen in the time frame!!! Reassurance means a lot to me!!!!-----Bunnypie

[majestyjo]

Everyone`s schedule isn`t the same as God`s. Don`t get yourself focused on someone else`s word. It is so easy to be disappointed and hurt due to human frailaties. I look at it as one part doctors and three parts God.

[bunnypie]

Thanks for sharing the math with me Jo! You are right! God does have the bigger %-----Bunnypie