Wednesday November 23rd, 2016 Chip Rude/Polite

[bunnypie]

I went to the 7pm meeting last night and a man showed up late & drunk. The group decided that he should NOT be allowed to attend the meeting. I thought it was rude until it was explained to me that he rants and raves and makes no sense. He has done this at several other meetings. I think it is a slap in the face to the people who are trying to stay sober and was polite to the group at the decision of the group conscience/vote. One of the men did go and talk to him out in the hall. I hope he will come back to the group and try to do it sober......Bunnypie

[majestyjo]

Have heard that it is okay if someone who is drunk attends a meeting as long as he is not rude and disruptive. In my group in the past, I asked two people to leave when I was chairing the meeting. The 5th Tradition says, "Our primary purpose is to carry the message to the alcoholic/addict who still suffers. The drunk was feeling no pain and it would be surprising if he even remembered being there. You don't have to be drunk to hurt, many people attending the meeting are hurting too and they need to HEAR the message of recovery. I once confronted a couple who refused to take turns babysitting their child. They let him have the run of the hall and when he started crawling under the chairs of the meeting and two people left the meeting because he was being disruptive, I asked them too remove the child if they couldn't control him.

I know two girls who were brought up in AA, the one was called an AA brat and I baby sat her for mom, when she was on shifts. They both were older, when I knew them, but the one had been going to meetings since she was born.

He does have a right to be at the meeting; but to my way of thinking it is rude to disrupt a meeting even if you aren't drunk. i.e. Someone coughing and spreading their germ around. Leave your germ at home, especially if they are contagious.

They can be asked in a polite way to be quiet, and if they don't, I feel you have a right to ask them to leave. I asked a woman to leave. She was a nurse, couldn't stay sober, was in and out of the program. She diagnosed and thought she had a right to tell each person who shared what was wrong with them or gave them advice. Again, someone left and other were prepared to leave. She got huffy, but what she was sharing, was not recovery talk and way of living clean and sober.

As I like to say, every time this chip comes up, there is no excuse for rudeness. If you can't be polite and say things in a positive way, say nothing at all.

[bunnypie]

Thanks Jo!---I was chairing the meeting and asked for a group conscience/vote. The group wanted him to stay out of the meeting and I went along with what the group wanted. I do hope he comes back when he is ready to hear the message of sobriety. It is hard to think of the "one who got away"-----Bunnypie

[majestyjo]

The good thing was that he knew where to go. He may have been before, and all we can do is pray he will come back, he knows where the help is. Hopefully he will go to detox first.

[bunnypie]

The seed has been planted now if he can either keep his mouth shut or come to the meeting sober he will be on his way!!!