Sunday- panicky,violent orstable

[Lin]

I am not violent at all. I am much more on the stable side of this one than on the panicky side. I do have some relapses into panic when it comes to predicting how my alcoholic husband will react. I knew when the insurance man didn't show up and never called he would blame me for taking the call and telling him we would be home. I have to accept that this agent is an idiot who does nto want to work selling insurance if he does business like this. It's as if he just forgot or blew us off. I was not panicky of when he would arrive..but more of how my husband would react if he never showed. And he didn't show and didn't call.

So I am closer to the STABLE side of this chip and definitely not the violent side. I would rather use reason and kind words than violence.

LINDA

[majestyjo]

When I was using, and in my abusive marriages, the abused became the abuser. It wasn't so much the fists, but my tongue. It was a real weapon. I tore people apart and never thought to put them back together again. Going up one side and down the other, tearing strips on the way, totally judgmental and often with complete distain. I was not a very nice person.

In recovery, about 3 years sober, a friend said, "You have such a nice way of telling someone off and they don't even know they have been told." So my God and I had to do more work in the area, old behaviours can be hard to let go of.

I am not so much act, react in today. Some people even call me Ms. Serenity, but they don't see what I see and feel from my perspective. It is a disease of perception, so I need to look at ME, not at others.