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Post by Lin on Mar 1, 2005 8:28:09 GMT -5
ACOA Laundry list
Many ACOA ( Adult Children of Alcoholics, find they have some common characteristics. This is one version of the "laundry list". Do you see yourself in any of these?
Adult Children of alcoholics:
1. Guess at what normal behavior is.
2. Have difficulty following a project through from beginning to end.
3. Lie when it would be just as easy to tell the truth.
4. Judge themselves without mercy.
5. Have difficulty having fun.
6. Take themselves very seriously.
7. Have difficulty with intimate relationships.
8. Overreact to changes over which they have no control.
9. Constantly seek approval and affirmation.
10. Usually feel they are different from other people.
11. Are super responsible or super irresponsible.
12. Are extremely loyal, even when evident the loyalty is undeserved.
13. Are impulsive. They tend to lock themselves into a course of action without giving serious consideration to alternative behaviors or possible consequences. This impulsivity leads to confusion, self-loathing, and loss of control over their environment. In addition, they spend an excessive amount of energy cleaning up the mess."
(Thanks arlene for finding this.)
LIN
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Post by Lin on Mar 1, 2005 8:38:02 GMT -5
Number 8 and 9 were the biggies for me. Sometimes, even after 13 years of recovery, i STILL have number 8 give me problems.
8 was overreacting to changes over which we have no control. If i have something planned and my expectations are to make it run smoothly and something outside my control changes it, I am not happy. Today I try to made a Plan B to keep that from happening, but there are times even that is not enough to keep me from entering the crazy zone.
and 9 was constantly seek approval and affirmation. I never got much affirmation growing up. ti was criticism more than affirmation. So I sought it at school and from my freinds. I learned i could actually affirm myself. That helped.
LIN
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 3, 2016 9:37:01 GMT -5
I did 4 loads of laundry last night. I should have seen this before I went and I could have done some perusal to see what was happening to me in today.
Most of them are applicable or have been and are better in today. The 3rd one, I said "Not me" and then I realized I lied to myself many times over. I was raised to tell the truth. Sometimes the truth can be hurtful, so I try to not be so open with others.
A friend of mine once said, "You have a way of telling people off and they don't even know it." Not something I am proud of in today, I try to put people back together in today instead of tearing them apart and not bothering to put them back together.
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Post by majestyjo on Sept 5, 2020 0:23:35 GMT -5
A good reminder. My dad was an alcoholic and died as a result of his disease.
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. I will be back looking for Lin and others.