"N" TOPIC DISCUSSION

[majestyjo]

N is for Newcomer. They say in the rooms of recovery that newcomers are the most important people in the room. They have a great message to carry for me. It isn't any better out there and I have NO desire to go back out there.



As I heard a girl in CA say, "When I go to a meeting, I go as a newcomer." I am more open to new things.

[majestyjo]

N is for Nothing. Nothing can stand between me and my God in today. Anything that I am compulsive/obsessive about in today, because my 'god' and blocks me from the true Living Spirit.

[majestyjo]

N is for Negative. Change it! I firmly believe a negative is seldom all negative, there is positive to be found if we but look for it. We have to get by the negative that offends us and look for the goodness. I also believe that something isn't all positive, there can be a negative twist to it somewhere, again we will find it if we look for it and focus on it instead of living in the positive. All is subject to change. When I say I can't, there is a good chance that I won't. If I say I can, then there is a good chance that I will succeed. A lot is how we look at it and how open our mind is.

When we look at this picture, what do we see? The darkness, the light, or the bear? I see what looks to be sad eyes on the bear

[majestyjo]

Quote:
You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

The Good Feelings

Let yourself feel the good feelings too.

Yes, sometimes, good feelings can be as distracting as the painful, more difficult ones. Yes, good feelings can be anxiety producing to those of us unaccustomed to them. But go ahead and feel the good feelings anyway.

Feel and accept the joy. The love. The warmth. The excitement. The pleasure. The satisfaction. The elation. The tenderness. The comfort.

Let yourself feel the victory, the delight.

Let yourself feel cared for.

Let yourself feel respected, important, and special.

These are only feelings, but they feel good. They are full of positive, upbeat energy - and we deserve to feel that when it comes our way.

We don't have to repress. We don't have to talk ourselves out of feeling good - not for a moment.

If we feel it, it's ours for the moment. Own it. If it's good, enjoy it.

Today, God, help me be open to the joy and good feelings available to me.
In today's reading, I was reminded out much my life was focused on the negative instead of the positive. I had trouble finding the positive, mainly because I wasn't looking for it. It seemed like my whole live was filled with bad feelings and bad thoughts.

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Over the years I used different things to stuff those negative feelings. I didn't know that when I stuffed negative I was also stuffing the positive, although at the time, I didn't know it was there.

When I came into recovery, I had to balance out my character defects with positive attributes. I was reminded that my using wasn't the issue, the problem was me. Even when I got by the prescription drugs and alcohol, I had to look at all the other things that I used to focused outside of myself instead of looking in and connecting with my Higher Power. Over the years it has been relationships, long hours of work, food, shopping (especially buying things I didn't need or could afford), getting caught up in busy i.e. service, my computer which led me to sites and playing games, and reading (burying my nose in a book and shutting the world off). All things are good in their place but not when used as an escape from feeling and reality.

There has to be time for fun. I had to learn to let my inner child to play. Yet I also had to put her to rest and be responsible too.

I was looking outside for validation, self-worth, affirmation, self-esteem, self-respect, forgiveness, compassion, and love. I couldn't find them in me so I looked to find them from you.

The tools of the program lead to new awareness. Do I utilize this gift to it's fullest in my life to change and grow or do I continue to practice old behaviors and patterns.

[majestyjo]

Quote:
Thursday, February 13, 2014

You are reading from the book Today's Gift

"Shall I give you a kiss?" Peter asked and, jerking an acorn button off his coat, solemnly presented it to her.
—James Barrie

If kisses can be made of acorn buttons, they can be made of any good thing. Think of kisses made of candy. Therefore, there must be a thousand and one ways to give a kiss. We can give one made of wild flowers picked in the ditch, the melody in a music box, the few true words in a note, or the picture we ourselves draw to give to the one we love. Think of how we can hide them here and there under pillows, in corners, in pockets where they're sure to be seen and felt. Think of how hearts kiss when we hug or hold hands, how sleeping beauties suddenly wake up.

Does it matter that we try new ways to show our same old love?

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For many years in recovery, I realized how much I had looked for love in all the wrong places and in the wrong ways.

When I read this, I thought of loves from nature, and was reminded of the wild strawberries I picked as a child. I walked the railroad tracks with my son, and picked them many years later to give him a treat that I had as a child.

[majestyjo]

Quote:
Monday, January 27, 2014

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

Needing People

We can find the balance between needing people too much and not letting ourselves need anyone at all.

Many of us have unmet dependency needs lingering from the past. While we want others to fulfill our desire to be loved unconditionally, we may have chosen people who cannot, or will not, be there for us. Some of us are so needy from not being loved that we drive people away by needing them too much.

Some of us go to the other extreme. We may have become used to people not being there for us, so we push them away. We fight off our feelings of neediness by becoming overly independent, not allowing ourselves to need anyone. Some of us won't let people be there for us.

Either way, we are living out unfinished business. We deserve better. When we change, our circumstances will change.

If we are too needy, we respond to that by accepting the needy part of us. We let ourselves heal from the pain of past needs going unmet. We stop telling ourselves we're unlovable because we haven't been loved the way we wanted and needed.

If we have shut off the part of us that needs people, we become willing to open up, be vulnerable, and let ourselves be loved. We let ourselves have needs.

We will get the love we need and desire when we begin to believe we're lovable, and when we allow that to happen.

Today, I will strive for the balance between being too needy and not allowing myself to need people. I will let myself receive the law that is there for me.

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When I get needy, I get greedy. I want more attention, more love, more affirmation, more validation, and more of any substance that will take me out of self, so that I don't have to look at me. Shame, blame, and denial kept me sick for a long time.

[majestyjo]

Quote:
Thursday, January 23, 2014

You are reading from the book The Language of Letting Go

New Energy Coming

Fun becomes fun, love becomes love, and life becomes worth living. And we become grateful.
—Beyond Codependency

There is a new energy, a new feeling coming into our life. We cannot base our expectations about how we will feel tomorrow, or even a few hours from now, on how we feel at this moment.

There are no two moments in time alike. We are recovering. We are changing. Our life is changing. At times, things haven't worked out the way we wanted. We had lessons to learn. The future shall not be like the past.

The truly difficult times are almost over. The confusion, the most challenging learning experiences, the difficult feelings are about to pass.

Do not limit the future by the past!

Reflect on the beginning of your recovery. Haven't there been many changes that have brought you to where you are now? Reflect on one year ago. Haven't you and your circumstances changed since then?

Sometimes, problems and feelings linger for a while. These times are temporary. Times of confusion, uncertainty, times of living with a particular unsolved problem do not last forever.

We make these times doubly hard by comparing them to our past. Each situation and circumstance has had its particular influence in shaping who we are. We do not have to scare ourselves by comparing our present and future to a painful past, especially our past before we began recovering or before we learned through a particular experience.

Know that the discomfort will not be permanent. Do not try to figure out how you shall feel or when you shall feel differently. Instead, trust. Accept today, but do not be limited by it.

A new energy is coming. A new feeling is on the way. We cannot predict how it will be by looking at how it was or how it is, because it shall be entirely different. We have not worked and struggled in vain. It has been for and toward something.

Times are changing for the better. Continue on the path of trust and obedience. Be open to the new.

Today, God, help me not judge or limit my future by my past. Help me be open to all the exciting possibilities for change, both within and around me.

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Each day is a new day an new energy is available to us, if we are open to filling and feeding our spirit.

[majestyjo]

N is for Now. All I have is now. In this moment, when I am balanced and centered in living in my God's Care, I am better equipped to handle things as they come my way. If my space is cluttered with thoughts of yesterday and tomorrow, it doesn't leave much room for today and how can I hear, with all that noise going on.

Live in the Now. It is all that we have. Stay in the moment and in the day. Don't drag the past into it, glance over your shoulder to look at it if you need to, so you don't make the same mistakes in today and don't project into the future.

Enjoy what is in today.

[majestyjo]

N is for "Not working the program." It isn't about 'the' program, it is about your program. What have you found that works for you? Are you staying sober on your program or do you need to add a few meetings, maybe some food for the mind and spirit? If you tried to get sober the way I did, you may have gone out and got drunk a long time ago. What do you need for your program in the now? Maybe it needs tweaking.

[majestyjo]

As Bill Sees It

Complete the Housecleaning, p. 213

Time after time, newcomers have tried to keep to themselves
shoddy facts about their lives. Trying to avoid the humbling
experience of the Fifth Step, they have turned to easier methods.
Almost invariably they got drunk. Having persevered with the rest
of the program, they wondered why they fell.

We think the reason is that they never completed their housecleaning.
They took inventory all right, but hung on to some of the worst
items in stock. They only thought they had lost their egoism and
fear; they only thought they had humbled themselves. But they had
not learned enough of humility, fearlessness, and honesty, in the
sense we find it necessary, until they told someone else their
entire life story.

Alcoholics Anonymous, pp. 72-73

We are only as sick as our secrets. If we don't deal with what brought us to the doors of recover, it will take us back. We NEED to clean house and make things right with the God of our understanding. He is loving, caring, and forgiving.


F.R.O.G. FULLY RELYING ON GOD!

[majestyjo]

Not for Nothing

From: "Empty on the Inside"

When I was two weeks sober, a man's nine-year-old daughter was killed by a drunk driver, and three days later he was at a meeting saying he had to believe it wasn't for nothing. That maybe one alcoholic would get sober because of it. As I left that day, I found myself wondering what would have happened if that had been my kids, or me? What would they remember about me? A feeling came over me (I know now it was gratitude), and I realized that I could call my children right then and tell them I loved them. That I could show up when I said I would. That my word could be worth something to them. That even though I might always just be "mom who comes over on the weekends," I could be a good weekend mom. I had a chance to move forward with them, forging a relationship built on a foundation of God and Alcoholics Anonymous, rather than always trying to make up for the past. One year later I was able to share with that man that maybe it hadn't been for nothing, because my life changed that day.

2001, AAWS, Inc., Alcoholics Anonymous, page 520

[caressa222]

N is for New. Each day brings new experiences, hopes, and dreams.

The newcomer carries such a strong message if we are open to listening. There may be new drugs out there but they take you to the same place you were at before, only quicker. You don't have to go back out, I have done the research for you.

The options are still the same, nails, institutions and death.

[caressa222]

Mid for nothing. Like the earlier post. Hope my long stay in the hospital was for nothing. Hopefully they have my heart medication straightened out.