Powerless Over Alcohol

[majestyjo]

October 12

As Bill Sees It

"POWERLESS OVER ALCOHOL", p.283

I had gone steadily downhill, and on that day in 1934 I lay upstairs

in the hospital, knowing for the first time that I was utterly

hopeless.

Lois was downstairs, and Dr. Silkworth was trying in his gentle way to

tell her what was wrong with me and that I was hopeless. "But Bill has

a tremendous amount of will power," she said. "He has tried

desperately to get well. We have tried everything. Doctor, why can't

he stop?"

He explained that my drinking, once a habit, had become an obsession,

a true insanity that condemned me to drink against my will.

********************************

"In the late stages of our drinking, the will to resist has fled. Yet

when we admit complete defeat and when we become entirely ready

to try A.A. principles, our obsession leaves us and we enter a new

dimension-freedom under God as we understand Him."



1. A.A. COMES OF AGE, p. 52

2. LETTER, 1966

Couldn't understand powerless until I substituted the word control.  Then I heard, if you have to control it, it is already out of control.  Control is an illusion.  I am as powerless over my son's disease as I am my own.  I can't change it, my God can, just for today, I will turn my disease and my son's disease over to our God.

All I wanted was that freedom, after the obsession was lifted, I was able to work the Steps and apply them to my daily life, one day at a time.

[caressa222]

Didn't realize I didn't have the power. I remember as I child, my mother saying, "Look at what you made me do." I had a lot of false sense of guilt, responsibility, pride, and shame. It wasn't mine to take on. I didn't know.

My life is unmanageable when managed by me.

[caressa222]

With the program, when I surrender to the God of my understanding I am empowered to do what I need to do to maintain my sobriety. That does not give me the power to change others, it gives me the tools to change and recover from active addiction. It gives me the power to not substitute another drug for my drug of choice. My drug of choice was more, so I have to obtain from all drugs, all alcohol, all relationships, all work and bust, and the list goes on.