im happy to have found this site

[carolsongs]

I want to connect with my acoa sisters and brothers, Im a mom and in recovery for 13years as an acoa i can say that im the mom and person Ive prayed to be now, despite my up bringing living with a suicidal mother who put my sisters and I threw hell , looking back all my mom had to do was reach her hand out for help,it angers me that she did not. the pain is always there , but i wake up with hope in the morning and ask God the father to help me become the person he created me to be and not a product of my parents issues ,each painful memorie I bring to the lord jesus and he is such a buddy , he hears me and answers with little gifts of hope for the day, and I also notice that he replaces the pain with what i was suppose to get, love and
:'(guidance, thanks for reading my message Carolyn, carolsongs

[Lin]

Welcoeme carolsongs! Glad you are here! I am also ACOA and alanon for 13 years...(next month) I am happy you have realized what your upbringing did to or for you and have made sure your shildren did not have to grow up like that. We call that breaking the cycle. Great job! Bravo!

For me, I am married 38 years. I wanted children very badly, but numerous misscarriages and two tubal pregnancies by age 32, and all hope for that was dashed. I was angry at first, but I changed my perspective on my anger. I decided my HP knew what was bgest for me and for any offspring I brought into thte world. My hubby was an ACOA too and his father was a violent alcoholic. Perhaps children did not need to be in my home. perhaps my HP wanted me to jsut spoil my students and my neices and nephews and little cousins and have dogs aroudn the house. My way of breaking the cycle was not by my choice, but I have accepted it and moved on.

You are correct..pain is always there. I have an analogy I'd liek to share with you. It helps em alot. I call it my SPLINTER story.

If we get a splinter in our hand and leave it there, it will fester. It will hurt. It will cause us pain. But eventually it does need to come out. Digging it out causes even more pain. But once the splinter is out the skin can begin to heal.

Painful things from my childhood that I did not want to face, I thought of as splinters. And I kept my focus on the healing the digging out would bring.

Have a wonderful day!
LINDA