Springs, black cloud of memories

[carolsongs]

Ive worked hard over the years to remind myself that darkness is behind me, i m not a little girl anymore helpless under the black cloud of alcoholism, im okay now, but try telling that to what ever it is that comes upon me every spring, I have to fight it or it what ever it is will do me in this time, I feel fear I feel unsafe, the most painful part of this is I dont want to pass this on to my children, Im suppose to be the anchor for them.. my older son 19 gets depressed in the spring a bit , its not easy to hide,I feel vulnarable if all k new how scared i was, how unsure i feel of my self during this time,this has been happening for years too many memories of tragedies in the spring my parents and my own , im glad i wrote this down here at acoa , this iswhere it belongs , my only way to go through this is listening to music from my childhood 60s and 70s it helps to anchor me and planning a beautiful garden, cleaning and organizing and trusting god every moment of my day, carolyn, carolsongs

[caressa]

Thank you for sharing. Recovery is about changing that fear into faith and one day at a time, you seem to be working on it.