Those Other People

[majestyjo]

As Bill Sees It

Those Other People, p.268

"Just like you, I have often thought myself the victim of what other

people say and do. Yet every time I confessed the sins of such

people, especially those whose sins did not correspond exactly with

my own, I found that I only increased the total damage. My own

resentment, my self-pity would often render me well-nigh useless to

anybody.

"So, nowadays, if anyone talks of me so as to hurt, I first ask myself if

there is any truth at all in what they say. If there is none, I try to

remember that I too have had my periods of speaking bitterly of

others; that hurtful gossip is but a symptom of our remaining

emotional illness; and consequently that I must never be angry at the

unreasonableness of sick people.

"Under very trying conditions I have had, again and again, to forgive

others--also myself. Have you recently tried this?"

Letter, 1946

[caressa222]

When I went to a meeting, I identified with the literature so much that I was grateful that I had found AA first. It was about me being honest with me. I was the adult child of an alcoholic, but I too was an alcoholic.

I don't know if it is hereditary or we are just products of our environment. For me, it was if you can't beat them, join them. Many don't pick up alcohol and pick up other substances.

I am not only an ACoA, but I am an addict too.

[caressa222]

As Bill Sees It

Those Other People, p.268

"Just like you, I have often thought myself the victim of what other
people say and do. Yet every time I confessed the sins of such
people, especially those whose sins did not correspond exactly with
my own, I found that I only increased the total damage. My own
resentment, my self-pity would often render me well-nigh useless to
anybody.

"So, nowadays, if anyone talks of me so as to hurt, I first ask myself if
there is any truth at all in what they say. If there is none, I try to
remember that I too have had my periods of speaking bitterly of
others; that hurtful gossip is but a symptom of our remaining
emotional illness; and consequently that I must never be angry at the
unreasonableness of sick people.
"Under very trying conditions I have had, again and again, to forgive
others--also myself. Have you recently tried this?"

Letter, 1946

Played the blame game for years.  I was so hard done by you know.  Then I realized I no longer wanted to role play and be the victim, martyr, and poor, poor, me, pour me another one.  I had to forgive myself  I was six years sober when a counselor asked my, "Why haven't you forgiven yourself?"  I replied, "I forgot to ask."