growing thick skin----

[admin]

Dear Tiger---I have been married 23
years to a man who claims he got program in just one meeting. He has told me I have nuts for brains cuz I got to keep going back to meetings. One meeting he got it all. Needless to say he is an arrogant, dry, know it all who just infuriates the hell outta me......


The AA program talks about wearing the world like a loose garment and also about growing a thick skin to keep everybody and everything from
hurting us and driving us crazy to
where we want/need to drink over it. I would like to hear any ideas
or suggestions you have on just HOW
this can be done......

Thanks!!! MISTYEVE

[admin]

Hi Misty,

Great to hear fromyou!

First, realize we *cannot* change others. Some people are just sicker than others. If we can't change them the only other choice is "accept" them and their sickness.

The key is "how do we do this?".

The things we can change are within ourselves!

First, I realized these TV shows like "the Brady Bunch" and "Father knows best" are fiction not fact - All Families Have Their Problems so you are not alone.

My step-mother had a great gimmick. She would mentally visualize harsh words going over her head so she didn't respond to them.

Remember "sticks and stones can break our bones but names can never hurt us" - *unless we let them*.

I would think my spouse is not perfect but neither am I. I might not like them but I can "tolerate" them which is a form of love.

Misty, this is a selfish program. Don't let anyone mess it up!

When he fires his verbal salvos.at you

mentally visualize them going over your head and don't respond in kind.

I guarantee, this will drive him crazy

Always remember "drinking is *not* an option" no matter what!

Hang in there and take care of Misty!

Luv...........Tiger