Tolerance

[admin]

Early in my sobriety, I always carried a resentment to someone from spouse to boss and others. In fact, I carried a resentment to "someone" at "any given time".

My wife, also on the program, would pray for those she resented and it worked for her but not for me! So, I devised my own prayer "God, give them what they deserve" but I now had a new problem. An inner-voice would say "I will give them what they deserve if I can give you what you deserve". I creied "hell, no, don't do that".

I began to understand we both had "character defects" and we both had a right to exsist. They were not perfect but neither was I. It helped "level" the playing field of life.

I began to recognize "the myth of perfection" in others as well as myself. Now, I understood the old AA adage "you don't have to like the SOB but you have to love them" Since "tolerance" is the lowest form of love it all became clear!!

Still muddling through "a day at a time"............Tiger

[admin]

Dear Tiger---That is real interesting that tolerance is the lowest form of love. When I am tolerating someone it is that I am
putting up with them for as long as
I can. Tolerance is a long term of
patience in my opinion but I never
thought of it as a low form of love. Thanks for explaining that!
It does make sense! MISTYEVE

[majestyjo]

Letting go of resentments was one of the topics we discussed today. I never looked at it as tolerating someone, it was more intolerance of someone, for what ever reason.

I was told to pray also, but I found that the person may not change, but I did. I was able to tolerate them enough. You learn to love the person, you don't have to love the behavior or the act they did. I could see them as sick people. I just had to learn to accept them for where they were at in their life and give thanks that I no longer have to go there myself. If I hang onto anger, it is a danger to my sobriety. If I am angry, I don't have sobriety, I can only be sober. I firmly believe this. My anger blocks me from the Spirit of my God.

[majestyjo]

If you pray for tolerance, people, places, and things are brought into your life so you can learn to be patient.