The MOM Syndrome

[admin]

During my early years around AA I was in and out like a revolving door. I could not maintain sobriety.

In desperation, my sponsor sent me to a Physiatrist. He was sure I had some kind of mental problem.

I visited that Physiatrist each week for a year while drinking between visits. I can't remember anything that was discussed during that year except one subject from the first visit.

Upon telling the Physiatrist my story, he replied "Your a victim of the MOM Syndrome". I replied "you must mean I had a loving Irish mother who spoiled me?" He answered "no, I mean all your life you made *mountains out of molehills*".

Wow, was he "reading my mail". All my life, the daily happenings of life were "Federal Cases" - everything was a mountain!

After I got and stayed sober I realized the wisdom of that Physiatrist's diagnosis.

Sobriety has given me a perspective on "the happenings of life" - as simple as "this too shall pass" to as profound as "what does this mean over a life time?".

A number of years ago I chaired my HG (where there was allot of long term sobriety). I chose a topic, since most of us don't have an obsession to drink, what do we get out of the meeting that makes us fell good afterwards?

My answer was it help's keep those little things bothering us small.

In other words, for me, it helps avoid "THE MOM SYNDROME.

Still muddling through a day at a time............Tiger

[admin]

Sounds to me like you where just good at

polevualting mose turds haha Ron


Very well put, a great picture how this is a disease of perception. I take that part of my disease to my HP daily, and ask for healing on anything that affects my concept of reality today.

This gal doesn't want any more tunnel vision, selective hearing, half-truth (lies by omission), words left unsaid (especially those for good because of fear of self-expression).

I was said to a fellow that recovery for me was the realization that everythings wasn't black or white and that there were shades of gray.

Yet his perception was completely different, which is okay, because that is his recovery and his words stay with me today, and again, depending where you are coming from, both are true. He said, "I lived in the grayness for so many years, it is good to be able to see black and white!"

This guy has a one year more in recovery than I have, and when I belonged to his NA group, he passed his medallion on to me. As he got a new one, I was given the hope of making it through one more year myself.

I passed that same medallion on to a guy who had seven days, and has been in and out of this program at least seven times, and said, "Remember this is one day at a time. If and when you get seven years, you can hand this back to me or pass it on to someone else, when you get one of your own."

This also reminds me of my mom who died when I was twenty. So much of my past is made up of old tapes received from her. Today I think she had fibromyalgia the same as I do, but no one knew. When I had six years sober, I found myself calling out to her, and my sponsor said, "Perhaps you have forgiven her!" For many years I thought I had this disease of alcoholism because my father was one, and died because of his disease. Yet when I could honestly look back on my life, he was never around to teach me anything, and I firmly believe we are often products of our environment. I had abandonment and rejection issues, the the 'isms' of my disease came from my mother. She used food to deal with my father's alcoholism, and died at the age of 40, weighing 240 lbs. after being warned by the doctor to lose weight or she would die.

Fear never stopped any addict from using, no matter what the substance is! Whether it is work, food, gambling, sex, drugs and/or alcohol, it is all a result of our dis-ease within ourselves.

Thanks for letting me share,

Love Always,

Caressa
_________________


Caressa writes:
was said to a fellow that recovery for me was the realization that everythings wasn't black or white and that there were shades of gray.

For me, Reality (this thing called life) is a mosaic of all kinds of shades from bright to dark and various shades in-between *which constantly change*.

Still "muddling through" and "accepting" the various shades sober due to the program.

Tiger

[silverbear2]

Hi Tiger

WOW that sounds just like me ..."The Mom syndrome" I knew there had to be a name for it ...as I do remember a fellow I lived with the year before I came into AA he said ...you know not everything is about you it was a hard slap in the face but I will never forget it ...So now that I am in AA the thing that is most important to me is my program and I am grateful that everything isn't about me because it's alot to hold up.

Have another good 24 hours everybody!!

Silverbear

[Tiger]

Hi Silverbear,

>I am grateful that everything isn't about me because >it's alot to hold up.

It's perspective, Siverbear. You and me are but a spec. of sand among the many beaches of all the oceans in the entire world!

Tiger

[majestyjo]

This can still happen in today, you think I would learn.



MOM Syndrome - Mountains Out Of Molehills. Looks more like MOOM, but that is okay. Which ever way you look at it, we can still blow things out of proportion.