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Post by Tiger on Feb 1, 2004 13:22:28 GMT -5
Hi Everyone,
Today, being my birthday, I thought it might be neat to start a "new thread".
In addition to alcoholism, I was victim of a sub-disease"Perfectionism"
I wanted a perfect wife, a perfect family, a perfect job, a perfect boss ect. I guess I wanted to live in a "perfect world"
As the sober years passed, I realized nothing in this world is perfect.........not even myself 
If I wanted to be sober and happy I must *accept* this universal law of nature - people, places and things are not perfect!
The realization of this myth has helped me to *accept*the imperfections of this world - the more I accept, the better I am.
While drinking, as I sought help from a physiatrist, I was told "is someone gave me the" Mona Lisa", I would look for a flaw instead of enjoying the picture.
Today, I try to enjoy "the picture" and accept the flaws as part of life.......Keeps life much simpler.......and......as the old-timers said "KISS" or "Keep It Simple Stupid"
Tiger
;D
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Post by SunnyGirl on Feb 1, 2004 13:39:15 GMT -5
( ( ( ( Tiger ) ) ) )
Happy Birthday, you're getting older, but you're also getting better..... ;D
A most excellent share......
I am praying for the day, that I will find the level
of ESH that you share on the boards....
Have a wonderful day..... ~SG~
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Post by Caressa2 on Feb 2, 2004 1:12:58 GMT -5
Happy Birthday (((Tiger))).
Perfectionism is certainly a dis-ease and it affects a lot of us in recovery. Always feeling short of our expectation of others, but most of myself.
Those old tapes which said, if you can't do it right, don't do it at all. If it isn't perfect the first time, you did it again and again, and so much of life was missed as a result of focusing on the unimportant and trying to meet the standards of someone else's ideal, let alone our own. How often we put our life on hold and didn't live ourselves because we couldn't live up to what we expected ourselves to be. We didn't do so many things because we didn't think we could.
Acceptance is a bit thing, and doesn't always come early, especially around birthday time. I am coming up on 62 and I have aged ten years in the last two.
We can not go through life abusing ourselves and being objects of other people's abuse without it beginning to show and the end result for me has been a lot of pain and a joy and freedom since I found the fellowship.
They say without pain we don't gain, and I think God has more faith in me than I have in myself.
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Post by lildee on Feb 2, 2004 7:25:16 GMT -5
Good Morning Tiger,
In your post you speak of perfectionism. So many of us on either side of the coin suffer from it. Perfectionism is an offshoot of the obssesive/compulsive personality. I sit and wacth my "A" at times and it amazes me that someone would go to such extremes for perfection. He'll sit and rotate all the cans and jars in the fridge or cupboard , so the labels face forward! For me my perfectionism is on a different level. It is being the perfect wife and perfect mother. (Something I didn't have as a child). The interesting part of perfectionism is the more we practice it the worse things get. Perfectionism only blocks our road to a higher spirit and the peace and serenity we all seek. Great thread, thanks and Happy Birthday again. God Bless Arlene
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Post by Caressa2 on Feb 2, 2004 11:20:40 GMT -5
Perfectionism only blocks our road to a higher spirit and the peace and serenity we all seek.
Never heard it put this way before, I like it. It is so true. The more 'I' try, the worse it gets, when I go to the silence, and let go, and that place of 'No Mind" that Zen talks about, everything happens as it should, and we can hear the "Good Orderly Direction" when it comes.
I was just interrupt by a phone call from a girl I use to sponsor who is back in the program. I just told her "slow down" you are moving too fast. She is trying to do everything all at once, and of coarse, everything has to be done now, perfect, and I can see her looking at the things ahead of her instead of the things in front of her. So glad the program has allowed me to change a lot of that, at least it is getting a lot better.
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Post by dg on Feb 2, 2004 11:40:49 GMT -5
[glow=BLUE,2,300]HAPPY BIRTHDAY TIGER!![/glow]
Hope you had a great day !! Many more happy years to come Tiger.!!
Great shares too.
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Post by majestyjo on Aug 19, 2017 18:23:11 GMT -5
An internet friend informed me several years ago, Ms. Perfection is part of your disease. She is not a recovery tool. All we can do is try to do the best we can in today, it isn't right or wrong. What may be right or me, may be wrong for someone else. I am my hardest task master, and I am always cracking the whip, and saying you could have done better. Thankfully the shoulds don't take front stage and get in the way, thanks to recovery. I try to not should all over the place. Hope your day is a good one. All we are asked to do is try. The failure is in the not trying. It isn't a failure if you tried and fell short of your expectations.  |
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~With Peace & Love, dg~ 8*)[/b][/size]
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.