Post by caressa222 on May 21, 2018 22:46:37 GMT -5
More language of letting go
Say when it’s either/or
A deadline is different from an ultimatum. Deadlines involve the ue of time to get something done. Ultimatums use power.
Ultimatums involve two ideas: an either and an or. Use ultimatums sparingly in your life. Sometimes, however, ultimatum is the only way to get a person’s attention.
Here are some examples: “Either you get sober and stop using drugs, or I’m going to put you in prison.” “Either you start working and stop drinking, or I’m going to take the children and leave.” “Either you show up for work on time, or I’m going to find someone else to do your job.”
Ideally, an ultimatum is not used to control the other person. It is an expression of limits– a powerful way of indicating to the other person that we’re on the verge of screaming when.
Sometimes people use ultimatums as power plays. They use them to play on our fears, particularly our fear of abandonment: “Either you do what I want, or I’ll go away.” “Either you keep quiet and don’t confront my behavior, or I’ll get angry and punish you by being mad.” This may work for a while, but ultimately, it can backfire.
Don’t use ultimatums as power plays, or devices to control the people around you. Don’t let other people use ultimatums to control or manipulate you. Use them as last-ditch warning notices that you’re about to say when.
God, help me be aware of ultimatums, both the ones I dish out and the ones other people use on me.
majestyjo: This is what chat brought me to.
Mar 22, 2020 22:47:18 GMT -5
joeykins: I can see where chat brought you jo
Mar 23, 2020 5:27:56 GMT -5
majestyjo: Happy New Year to all those who stop by.
Jan 2, 2021 4:11:29 GMT -5
joeykins: Update MajestyJo is in rehab hospital again having trouble standing up and vision issues. Has not been able to log in as no internet. Shes in good spirits and requested that i mention Tammy and Lin so they dont worry.
Apr 8, 2021 6:44:01 GMT -5
BW: So many have passed and now JO. God must have needed her to share and chat with all the others
Jun 9, 2021 15:22:29 GMT -5
loras: So sorry to hear that JO has passed.BW I agree God muat have needed her in heaven.Such a shock for me to FINALLY be with a computer again and the first place I came to only to find out that JO has passed.. . I will be back looking for Lin and others.
Jun 20, 2021 7:32:46 GMT -5
Ron: Does chat work and is anyone using it?
Jul 24, 2022 11:46:24 GMT -5
Lin: I dont know Ron...we have not used it in a while. Caressa and BW and I mostly use the coffee shop.
Aug 7, 2022 6:47:15 GMT -5
Lin: Good to have you drop by!
Aug 7, 2022 6:47:22 GMT -5
bluidkiti: I got a message from BW today. She said she has had computer problems and been pretty sick. She said that she hopes she is on the mend now. Please keep her in your prayers.
May 2, 2023 16:51:52 GMT -5