Post by Caressa2 on Jun 6, 2004 4:33:45 GMT -5
Yesterday was my son's birthday. He was 38 years old and when I came into recovery, he said he never saw me drunk, which means he never saw me sober. That was a very sobering thought for me.
He called me early yesterday in total anxiety because his boss and forgotten to sign his paycheck and he had no money to "celebrate" his birthday. So mother's birthday present was in the form of cash and a package of cigarettes, and my boyfriend drove him to his bosses father's place to get a check issued.
It was like it was the end of the world. A birthday and no money to buy a beer, how devastating. How well I remember when, the thought of having a drink is gone, but I haven't forgot what it was like when I was in active addiction.
My son has freedom of choice. I am powerless over his addiction and there is nothing that I can do to change it; but pray that one day he will make a choice. My boyfriend asked me if I would speak at his aniversary, and I said when is it? I said mine would be celebrated on August 22nd. He said, "Mine is July 30th, when is yours going to be Kevin? My son replied, "Not today!" From the time he called me on the phone until he walked into my apartment (my suggestion to let go of his anger) it took him an hour to walk about 10 miles. He didn't take the stairs or walk down the path, but walked straight down the mountain. Although Hamilton's mountain isn't very tall, it is more like a cliff and very rugged and perpendicular. It is amazing what you can do, when fear and anxiety of "not" having that next one hits you.
My son knows there is a different way, he has even taken people to meetings or put them in contact with me. Hopefully one day he will choose to bring himself, and that he lives to make that decision.
He called me early yesterday in total anxiety because his boss and forgotten to sign his paycheck and he had no money to "celebrate" his birthday. So mother's birthday present was in the form of cash and a package of cigarettes, and my boyfriend drove him to his bosses father's place to get a check issued.
It was like it was the end of the world. A birthday and no money to buy a beer, how devastating. How well I remember when, the thought of having a drink is gone, but I haven't forgot what it was like when I was in active addiction.
My son has freedom of choice. I am powerless over his addiction and there is nothing that I can do to change it; but pray that one day he will make a choice. My boyfriend asked me if I would speak at his aniversary, and I said when is it? I said mine would be celebrated on August 22nd. He said, "Mine is July 30th, when is yours going to be Kevin? My son replied, "Not today!" From the time he called me on the phone until he walked into my apartment (my suggestion to let go of his anger) it took him an hour to walk about 10 miles. He didn't take the stairs or walk down the path, but walked straight down the mountain. Although Hamilton's mountain isn't very tall, it is more like a cliff and very rugged and perpendicular. It is amazing what you can do, when fear and anxiety of "not" having that next one hits you.
My son knows there is a different way, he has even taken people to meetings or put them in contact with me. Hopefully one day he will choose to bring himself, and that he lives to make that decision.
. I will be back looking for Lin and others.